No support from my husband

[soccermonster31 8]

Thank you for bringing up this topic. I have the same worries about being banded and how my husband is going to react. Right now he is doing ok at not eating in front of me since I am on my liquid diet. But I know that it won't last forever. My biggest beef is that he probably needs the surgery to. People ask me on a daily basis if we are doing it together. He, however, is content just the way he is. And if you really press him about his weight he tells me he can do it on his own, but isn't interested in doing the work.

I think he will be there for me at first, but at some point will either decide it is time for him to change or he will go the opposite extreme and stop carrying about his health all together.

But everyone on here is right. It is your decision what you put in your mouth and your journey to a healthier lifestyle. Nobody can do this for you.

[Kara Renee 7]

ya my boyfriend thinks the whole idea of me getting the band is dumb no one in his family, who i live with, understands, but i just decided i dont care what people think im doing it for me and only me. i have it pretty hard too because his family are big eaters of very bad things and none of them care about weight. i constantly have to go out for pizza and watch them eat my favorite meals in front of me when im on this liquid diet, but i dont want them to have to change thier lifestyles for me. i dont have to go eat with them but i dont want to miss out on being with them just because i cant eat. and i dont want them to have to eat heathier when they dont want to just for me. I just learn to deal with it because thats the choice i made and i know i can do it. Just because i want to change my life doesnt mean people who im around have to change theirs. Thats just the thing we have to deal with and learn to take care of ourselves and be strong.

[Dawn200321 146]

We knew when we got banded that life goes on for our family. Example...my husband today ate a jimmy johns sandwhich right in front of me...im on a liquid diet and starving and he knows it. Its not his fault though. He still needs to eat. We can only control what we do. If your husband forgets to get you diet soda than from now on you be the one to go get the food. Its tough I know but you can only be responbsible for one person..YOU!

[carol285 145]

I have a very supportive husband who would gladly not bring any food I asked him not to into our home, he is also a recovering alcoholic (sober for 15yrs). Just as he never asked or expected me to never drink in front I him I never ask or expect him not to indulge in front of me. It sucks that we both have these addictions but the reality is that it is what it is & we both face it one day at a time. We find emotional support from each other, even if it is while he is having a cheeseburger & I am having a light beer lol!

[Sue R 0]

How cool - good luck together!

[jimjsgirl 0]

My Husband and son eat their normal diet, I don't seem to mind although beef Jerky has become a new best friend! Its high in Protein and low on fat, I snack on it daily only side effect I've noticed is urine is a bit strong scented

[highland 168]

My husband is my biggest cheerleader :Dancing_O_o: and support, however he eats all kinds of bread, Cereal, rice, potatoes, and Pasta. I am not eating any of those things as I am a serious diabetic and on the road to majorly reducing my insulin intake. I think of the temptation as good practice for the "real" world where temptation is all around us. Try to think of the junk food in the house as a mind challenge rather than a sabotage. I also think you should do your own grocery shopping. I do the grocery shopping and never buy the above mentioned carbs, but somehow they appear in every cabinet of the kitchen! I guess we have a carb fairy living with us!!! Keep your chin up, take control of YOUR eating, and love your dh and kids!

[LB4Me 35]

I just gave my husband a big hug and kiss after reading this. He is my major supporter in this journey even if he cannot understand my weight issues - he has never had a fat day in his life. But I made him part of the process from the beginning. We discussed it. He came with me on all my doctors appointments. We read all the literature together. He now cooks all my meals so I am not tempted to add a dab of butter or some extra cheese. And he hid the Halloween candy from me!

[Corrigan 75]

I'm going to add something to this thread. There have been a lot of complaints

about non supportive spouses in this thread and others. Maybe we should think

about how obsessive and enthusiastic we are about our surgeries. Even supportive

people get tired hearing about our diets and weight loss after a while. It doesn't mean they

aren't glad we're losing, maybe they're just tired hearing about it. Just something to

think about.

[SkinnyMiniMe 63]

My husband and I are getting banded in december.

I can say my husband and I had the food addiction together. We have lost weight numerous times and not always together. So from past experiences its hard to see the other half be successful in losing weight or controlling their food addiction, while remaining fat. We should be proud of them, but our own insecurities make us jealous and even want to sabotage them. We want them in the same boat we are in, the fat and miserable boat because we can't achieve what they have. That is not being a supportive friend, spouse, family member etc., My advice to you, when the he brings in the soda, drink Water. Do not let him derail you! He is probably scared of your success. You are about to change and he probably doesn't know how to handle that. He may be afraid of the change. This is your journey which he can't relate to, so you need to keep that in mind and secretly forgive him.

Good Luck!!! and I will also leave you with this (#2), that I post last week:

Then I remembered from a Dr. Robert Anthony book "Beyond Positive Thinking" he says fear is not tangible. You can't go and get a bucket of fear. You create in your mind. Just a couple of his quotes that help me stay strong:

(1) "We fear the thing we want the most"

(2) "don't listen to others who are coming from fear and living in negativity. If you do, you are using YOUR creative powers to help THEM manifest what they fear."

(3) "You can think of this like launching a rocket. Let's call it your "Rocket of Desire". The launching power is feeling excited about having what you want. However, if after you launch your Rocket of Desire you say, "But I am not sure I can do this" or "I am not sure this will work out", you've taken your rocket that was moving with great speed toward your goal and you've cut back the power. The end result is your rocket went from soaring towards your goal to crashing into the ground. That's how your worries and fears push away the things you want. If you unconsciously send up other rockets based on your fears, you're cutting the power you sent to your Rocket of Desire."