Should this bother me? Cause it does

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

So today was my weigh in day and I weighed in...another 5 pound loss...I was sooo excited. I am a military wife so I live far away from my family and so I update once in a while on Facebook about my weightloss progress so they can see. Today I was happy and updated that I was now down 70 pounds.

So a friend of mine posts her own status, about an hour after I post mine. (A person I have been friends with for years but don't talk to very often but do try to visit when home. Anyhow she knows that I had the lapband surgery. She actually came to visit me a week before surgery.) My gut tells me this status was geared toward me.

This is what it said:

"Is frustrated.. I know that we all like to only share the positive things in our life... But, please stop taking credit for something you didn't do.. If you want to be patted on the back for a job well done then get off your a$$ and do something.. And, if you get help, whether it be from others--or medically, please give credit where credit is due. Ok.. The End! "

So I text her to ask who she is ranting about and normally she would tell me. Today her answer was "just people in general. I am in a crabby mood." I act like I suspect nothing but really I don't buy it at all.It could be just me over reacting but it's just too coincedental.

I mean granted I haven't plastered it all over facebook that I had weightloss surgery. But I don't hide the fact. I will tell someone honestly when they ask me how I am doing it. I have told all of my family and closest friends. My friends where I live know. But I do not feel that I should have to say "Thanks to lapband....." everytime I post a status reguarding my progress. I may have used a tool to help me lose weight but I have busted my butt since the minute I was released to exercise by my doctor. I work out 5 to 6 days a week and follow my doctor and dietician's advice on what to eat and how much. Before Surgery I had tried every method I could to lose weight and failed everytime, so this is what my doctor reccommended I should do.

Like I said I could be over reacting...Opinions are welcome....But it does seem like she was attacking me indirectly...and it hurts...especially

since I have always considered her such a good friend.

I just wanted to post this to vent because I felt I needed to get it off my chest and I know the people on here understand...and know that this is not the easy way out...as a lot of people think...I have tried venting to my hubby but he doesnt really get it, ya know? LOL

[LB4Me 35]

First, congratulations on losing 70lbs. :clap:

You have a right to be hurt. Her response was catty. My read on it is that she has things, perhaps her own weight, that she has issues with. That said, I have learned when it comes to FB and family and friends, it is often best to ignore comments like that. She obviously has no clue how hard it really is to lose the weight, even with the band. My suggestion is, the next time you post a weight loss victory on FB, preface it by including "all this hard work - calorie counting and 6 days a week at the gym are really paying off - I've lost ##lbs!

[blackcadillacs5 62]

Congrats on the success! 2nd you dont need friends like that...ignore people that try to rain on your parade.

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

Thank you! I appreciate the advice! I will post exactly that next time I post about it Also thank you to you both! You made me smile!

First, congratulations on losing 70lbs. :clap:

You have a right to be hurt. Her response was catty. My read on it is that she has things, perhaps her own weight, that she has issues with. That said, I have learned when it comes to FB and family and friends, it is often best to ignore comments like that. She obviously has no clue how hard it really is to lose the weight, even with the band. My suggestion is, the next time you post a weight loss victory on FB, preface it by including "all this hard work - calorie counting and 6 days a week at the gym are really paying off - I've lost ##lbs!

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

Thank you! That made me smile

Congrats on the success! 2nd you dont need friends like that...ignore people that try to rain on your parade.

[MelindaH 3]

Thank you! That made me smile

Congratulations on your weight loss. I agree with BlackCadillac.....don't let anybody "rain on your parade". I am not a military wife and first off I want to say thank you to your and your husband for serving our country. I am very far away from my family but we are still in the US. I think long distance puts strain on relationships and friendships. I hope that your friend was just having a bad day......but I trust that you will educate her on how you have done it when it is appropriate.

I am not a fan of Facebook but I use it. I am from the old school of phone calls are made. You don't always know the feelings of the person who posts.

I hope that this is not a break in a friendship but just a temporary time out.

Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration to me.

Melinda

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

Thank you Melinda for all of your kind words. It won't be a break in our friendship, I have known her too long (since 5th grade and I am almost 30) to let a comment break that. It just hurt a lot.

Congratulations on your weight loss. I agree with BlackCadillac.....don't let anybody "rain on your parade". I am not a military wife and first off I want to say thank you to your and your husband for serving our country. I am very far away from my family but we are still in the US. I think long distance puts strain on relationships and friendships. I hope that your friend was just having a bad day......but I trust that you will educate her on how you have done it when it is appropriate.

I am not a fan of Facebook but I use it. I am from the old school of phone calls are made. You don't always know the feelings of the person who posts.

I hope that this is not a break in a friendship but just a temporary time out.

Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration to me.

Melinda

[THEgeorgiaPEACH 3]

Honestly, it is probably about you. And it's sad that we, as humans, (not all, but a lot) can't enjoy someone's victory. But instead have to be jealous or envious of ones happiness. It's really a sick thing. I think that people often think that weight loss surgery is the easy way out. But little do people realize that we are sacrificing a lot by having this surgery. Keep on posting about your weight loss, and be very very proud. YOU are doing the WORK. You are changing your life for the better! Anyone whose not a part of that positivity should be shed along with the rest of that weight! Good luck!

[HeavyDutyQ-tee 2]

Hello Proud Mommy of 3...

I just wanted to share my experience as well. I haven't even been banded yet but I have been updating my status on Facebook daily for the last 6weeks about my LapBand decision and my pre-op diets, testing, n my pre-op weight loss. I actually am having surgery this Friday October 14th @ 11am. I have gotten lots of support from some family and friends in which my sister and cousin have been my biggest cheerleaders. My two closest friends of over 20something years see my post everyday and neither of them have called me about the surgery or posted anything positive to help encourage me or show any support. I have talked to them each a couple of times over the past month about our birthday celebration coming up in February but not a one has mentioned anything. I posted yesterday I have 3 days to go and still nothing. They don't even press the LIKE button. Surgery is still a risk and things can go wrong. So even if they don't agree with my decision, it would be nice to have my friends at least pray for a safe procedure and a speed recovery... or something. I have gotten support from people I never even knew cared so much. Its funny how losing weight can destroy friendship but all I can say is I'm so excited and I'm doing this with or without there support. Good luck and great job on your weight loss. U dont need the negative stuff. Keep doing what your doing. You know how hard you work and thats all that matters!!!

i cant wait til I can say I have lost 70lbs. (2days n counting!!!)

[littlerlou 7]

First and foremost..CONGRATS!!!

What a lot of people dont understand is that most of us who have come to the decision for LB, have come to it becuase of "getting off our asses and trying EVERYTHING". Losing weight becomes a job and an obsession in and of itself and its hard work that never ends. Too many people look at WLS as the easy way out. Its actually the hardest road to take and they dont understand that.

I would make sure I posted something along those lines. Too many people see weight loss updates after surgery and the image they have is that your sitting there on your duff eating what you want and losing weight. No one has any idea the work that goes into it.

That is why I have opted to not tell my family at all. My husband knows, but other than that..no one will know because I dont want to deal with their negativity or little snide comments. I come from a family of large people and dont want to head down that road. Ive seen and done every diet possible..Food is considered love and affection in my family and when another member got WLS you would have thought she slapped each and every family member in the face. It was horrible and she no longer talks to any of them. So Im keeping it to myself.

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

Honestly, it is probably about you. And it's sad that we, as humans, (not all, but a lot) can't enjoy someone's victory. But instead have to be jealous or envious of ones happiness. It's really a sick thing. I think that people often think that weight loss surgery is the easy way out. But little do people realize that we are sacrificing a lot by having this surgery. Keep on posting about your weight loss, and be very very proud. YOU are doing the WORK. You are changing your life for the better! Anyone whose not a part of that positivity should be shed along with the rest of that weight! Good luck!

Thank You! It is a sad thing. But I am VERy proud of my progress, I have worked hard. I will keep posting because my family members are all supportive and proud of me and if i quit posting the updates and the pictures they will be upset cause they cant see my progress...and frankly I would rather have on "pissy" friend then SEVERAL family members LOL!

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

Hello Proud Mommy of 3...

I just wanted to share my experience as well. I haven't even been banded yet but I have been updating my status on Facebook daily for the last 6weeks about my LapBand decision and my pre-op diets, testing, n my pre-op weight loss. I actually am having surgery this Friday October 14th @ 11am. I have gotten lots of support from some family and friends in which my sister and cousin have been my biggest cheerleaders. My two closest friends of over 20something years see my post everyday and neither of them have called me about the surgery or posted anything positive to help encourage me or show any support. I have talked to them each a couple of times over the past month about our birthday celebration coming up in February but not a one has mentioned anything. I posted yesterday I have 3 days to go and still nothing. They don't even press the LIKE button. Surgery is still a risk and things can go wrong. So even if they don't agree with my decision, it would be nice to have my friends at least pray for a safe procedure and a speed recovery... or something. I have gotten support from people I never even knew cared so much. Its funny how losing weight can destroy friendship but all I can say is I'm so excited and I'm doing this with or without there support. Good luck and great job on your weight loss. U dont need the negative stuff. Keep doing what your doing. You know how hard you work and thats all that matters!!!

i cant wait til I can say I have lost 70lbs. (2days n counting!!!)

Good Luck on your surgery! I am sorry your friends are being that way to you, that is terrible. You need as much support as you can get right now. I know I could never have gotten this far without the support of my family and close friends and my husband. I know this one friend has been nasty about this but it is the first time she has actually made this statement. My friends that live here with me are a HUGE cheering team for me. They have been here for me every step of the way. I am so lucky to have them. I told one of my friends here about this last night and she got pretty upset because she has seen how hard I have worked since day 1. I am totally thrilled for you1 Friday is just 2 days away! If you dont mind I am gonna add you and please please keep in touch. I want to be a part of your cheering squad if that is okay with you? I will be praying for a great surgery and a quick recovery! Please keep in touch!!!!

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

First and foremost..CONGRATS!!!

What a lot of people dont understand is that most of us who have come to the decision for LB, have come to it becuase of "getting off our asses and trying EVERYTHING". Losing weight becomes a job and an obsession in and of itself and its hard work that never ends. Too many people look at WLS as the easy way out. Its actually the hardest road to take and they dont understand that.

I would make sure I posted something along those lines. Too many people see weight loss updates after surgery and the image they have is that your sitting there on your duff eating what you want and losing weight. No one has any idea the work that goes into it.

That is why I have opted to not tell my family at all. My husband knows, but other than that..no one will know because I dont want to deal with their negativity or little snide comments. I come from a family of large people and dont want to head down that road. Ive seen and done every diet possible..Food is considered love and affection in my family and when another member got WLS you would have thought she slapped each and every family member in the face. It was horrible and she no longer talks to any of them. So Im keeping it to myself.

I totatly agree with you! People do not understand how much work this takes. I have busted my butt...lots of blood sweat and tears have gone into this 70 pounds. I am sorry you have to keep this from your family. This is a victory we all should be able to share and be happy about with out being ridiculed. I am also sorry to your relative that they practically shunned. That is a terrible thing! I wish you luck on your journey! Prayers and warm thoughts are with you!