UPDATED I need to complain to people who will understand

[Rachel412 116]

I try to be pretty upbeat about the band... I do my best to lend support to others if I can, and to cheerlead for people whenever possible. But lately my band journey has gotten harder and I need to vent- maybe it'll help me feel better.

I've been banded almost 6 months, and have had 5 fills. My 3rd fill, which got me up to 6.75cc, was good and I felt like the band was doing what I wanted it to (keeping me satisfied 4-5 hours, helping me to eat smaller portions). I felt like I was "almost there"-- you know, close to the fabled green zone. I went back 2 weeks later to get another fill, and found out the the surgical P.A. who had done all of my fills left the practice, so the full-time office PA would be doing them. Fine. I watched her when she did it. She put in the new .5cc's but she didn't pull out what was in my band first to measure it, which the other PA always did. I found it odd.

So anyway. Things go well a couple weeks, I notice I'm really not feeling like I'm in a good place like I was before so I call for another fill. I find out I have to book like 3 weeks from when I call (one less PA=a lot fewer open appointments). When I go in in August, I'm busy (my kids are with me and I had to wait 45 minutes before they called me back) but I don't recall her checking the total Fluid this time either. I'd noticed she didn't do it the first time and so it was on my mind this time.

So I'm now up to 7.75cc's and the PA tells me that if I want to have any more fills i have to see the nutritionist first because I have "so much" in my band. I find out that my nutritionist (who I LOVED) also left the practice, and I'll need to see the other woman, who I've seen at support groups and in the office but I've never met. But I walk out thinking, ok, that's fine, this fill will hopefully put me back at a good place and I'll just go in October for my 6 month check up and see where I'm at.

Well... 7.75 didn't feel a damn bit different. In fact I'd say it felt looser. I am now going 2, 2.5 meals after a measured out meal and experiencing hunger. I'm worrying that I have a leak, or that she's missing my port when she fills me or something ,since she hasn't been checking what's in the band. I just feel like something's not adding up here.

I called the office last week to see if I could get in for a fill and this nutritionist meeting i have to have. The woman at the front desk tells me the soonest i could get in is AFTER my 6 month check up (10/18). I get frustrated and tell her that I think I have a leak, the PA hasn't checked how much is in my band, etc. So the receptionist puts me into the PA's voicemail. I explain it all to her.

The PA calls me back and she's on the defensive. She says she ALWAYS checks how much is in the band before she fills. Well... she can say that if she wants but I know she's lying because I watched her the first time and she didn't check it. She then starts going over what my expectations of the band are. Fine, I make sure she knows I'm not expecting a magic cure, I'm just expecting a little help. She says to me "why is it that in July you said you were going 3 hours after a meal before feeling hunger but in August, now that you have MORE fluid in your band, you're saying it's only 2, 2.5 hours?" Well if I knew the answer to that I probably wouldn't have called, would I?

She says that we can schedule an endoscopy if I really "want it". When I decline she asks me why not and I say my insurance is bad and I don't want to pay for tests if I don't know I really need them. She then says that she wants me to meet with the nutritionist, her, and a surgeon on my 6 month check up and if the doctor and nutritionist say I need it she'll "gladly" do my fill, but until that day I need to track every bite so they can see what I'm eating.

I'm just frustrated. I feel like the band DID start to help me, then it stopped. yes, I have more fluid in it now (maybe?) yet I barely know it's there. I can feel it if I swallow a big mouthful of Water or something I didn't chew well but I've never been stuck, never slimed, none of those things. And I think of those as good things but the truth is I also feel like there's either something wrong with it (leak? maybe the latch opened? I don't know!) or if not, then I need more fills than your average bear to get to the green zone.

beyond all that... I hit 60 pounds lost and asked my husband to take new progress pics for me. And I think they're horrible. I look like a fat person with extra saggy skin. I have been feeling down already and I was so looking forward to a nice set of pics to make me feel accomplished... they just made me feel worse. I may be in a size 18 instead of a 24, but I look just as bad.

OK. Bless you if you read all this. Any BTDT or kind words would be much appreciated.

[Chubbywithmuscles 20]

I read it all.....lol........and a defensive person only validates ones feelings......I loathe a person who can't just place themselves in someone elses shoes in critical times...........hopefully it'll all work out.....

[Allison0927 329]

I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. I know you've been very positive and encouraging to others on here too. I really don't have any advice for you on this one - all your decisions and everything you said/did made total sense to me. I think for WHATEVER UNKNOWN REASON many doctors get super defensive when an intelligent, assertive person has the gall to ask questions, politely demand info, or raises potential problems that can be easily addressed (i.e., how freaking hard is it to remove Fluid, measure it, then add Fluid back in). The whole "fill" process takes all of 2 minutes - can they really tell me they cannot take 3 minutes to resolve your concerns instead of 2???? Drives me nuts. I've not had push back from my surgeon on anything so far - but i'm dreading the day it happens. I wish you all the best - and keep us all posted on this whole thing - i want to know what they say/do on your 6 month check in!

[RosyG72 1]

I read every word and truly hopoe that as you lay to rest tomorrow will be a better day for you. Congratulations on adding years to your life by the loss of all that weight...it is indeed an accomplishement. As for you doctor, when you goon your visit make sure you voice your concerns directly to your doctor as only he/she has the right answer. As for tonight, look in the mirror see past the "flaws" you may see since you had the same feeling when you looked in the mirror when you were heavier and pat yourself in the back....you've come a long way my lapband friend!!!!

[Lisa1967 0]

Wow I read it all too. I am newly banded since the end of August, but I have worked in healthcare for several years. I have a feeling the reason why she was so defensive because she was caught making and error. Alot of people are like that for some reason. I have found that patients appreciate it more if you admit your mistakes and take steps to correct them. It goes a lot better. Do you think you can change providers? Maybe what I would do is contact the office manager and talk to her/him and explain your situation. And from your profile pic, you are just beautiful. I wouldn't worry about the extra skin. The reason we got the band was to be healthy. Beauty is only skin deep remember that!!

[justmermp 6]

I agree with you chubbywithmuscles!

Rachel, I feel for you. With your PA and nutritionist gone you must be feeling lost without your 'team'. I don't know if anything I say is going to make you feel better but I have read in this forum about different people's doctors pulling/drawing the previous Fluid to measure it and then doing their fill. I asked my doctor why he doesn't do that and he said when people draw the Fluid up this can actually cause the band the move and when they put the fluid back in you won't have the same fit. Also, he said something like that can cause infection. I was banded 7/26 and have had 3 fills and have no restriction. I don't feel hungry in between meals which helps alot but I can eat anything and don't feel full.

I hope things get better. Maybe you can ask for a different PA? Does your surgeon not do the fills? Thankfully mine does. I hope that doesn't change.

[NurseShay 24]

Your feelings are totally valid and it's great that you're venting them. I would look into finding a new fill doctor personally, the relationship you have with your lapband doctor is important to having trust in your band and your abilities, it seems like your PA is too sensitive about their work to be empathetic and the advocate that you need. I did experience on my 3rd or 4th fill feeling like my surgeon didnt add saline or maybe even removed some because I felt looser and definitely could eat more, I honestly dont know what happened because I have total faith in my surgeon but I did return 2 weeks later and had .2cc added and that did the trick for me. My surgeon was a bit skeptical that I even needed it but luckily we had the understanding of who pays the bill. haha I know how you feel about the loose skin because despite the optimism that I had that my skin would stay semi toned being in my 20's I have found the loose skin to be less than attractive on myself, kind of comes with the territory tho so it's always important to keep realistic expectations, doing strength training and toning I hear works wonders but of course there's always those areas we cant do much about without going the PS route if it really bothers you. But don't be so hard on yourself you've done a good job of losing weight despite your difficulties with your band and doctor. Try to stay positive and don't give up!

[jeanine tipton 0]

Rachel, Please be tell me, when you get new fills does it feel like its not working anymore? I had all the same problems that you having. but now i havent had an adjustment for 8 months i gained 50 pounds , ( was down to 163) now back up to 210!!!! the doctors and nutricionist kept telling me there is nothing wrong even went for a ct scan and all they saw was gallbladder stones !!! Well needless to say I have no insurance I paid for the last 3 fills out of pocket. UGHHH im so sad disgusted wish I never lost the weight cuz its so hard to stay focused! make sure u get a second opinion.

[sweetpea61956 6]

I read it all too...I was banded May 26th and although I have changed PA's, I am actually lucky because I like the new one better than the first one. I don't know if you can, but maybe you can find where the other PA went and move to them. It is so important to have a team you trust and like. Know I am thinking about you and wishing you the best.

[Rachel412 116]

Thank you all for reading, really.

I read it all.....lol........and a defensive person only validates ones feelings......I loathe a person who can't just place themselves in someone elses shoes in critical times...........hopefully it'll all work out.....

Thank you! And please don't ever take those muscles out of your profile pic, you have no idea how happy they make me

i want to know what they say/do on your 6 month check in!

Me too

Do you think you can change providers? Maybe what I would do is contact the office manager and talk to her/him and explain your situation. And from your profile pic, you are just beautiful. I wouldn't worry about the extra skin. The reason we got the band was to be healthy. Beauty is only skin deep remember that!!

It's possible, there are a lot of options this close to Boston.

Rachel, I feel for you. With your PA and nutritionist gone you must be feeling lost without your 'team'.

I hope things get better. Maybe you can ask for a different PA? Does your surgeon not do the fills? Thankfully mine does. I hope that doesn't change.

Yes, I do feel a little lost. My surgeon DID do fills when I started but the PA I had was his surgical PA, who I really liked so I always chose to have her do them. Now that she's gone, he no longer does fills either. I asked when I called the last time if there was ANYONE else besides the current PA who does fills and I was told she's the only one who does them.

Rachel, Please be tell me, when you get new fills does it feel like its not working anymore?

The first 3 fills felt like they made a difference. Not so much the last two.

I read it all too...I was banded May 26th and although I have changed PA's, I am actually lucky because I like the new one better than the first one. I don't know if you can, but maybe you can find where the other PA went and move to them. It is so important to have a team you trust and like. Know I am thinking about you and wishing you the best.

I wish I could follow her but she moved to Georgia

[jayres14 17]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I know it is important to have a strong support system and it sounds to me like your PA is not being a good cheerleader for you. I have a good relationship with my surgeon but something struck me as odd. My surgeon has never checked the total Fluid in my band. I have had 4 fills and the amounts were 2, 2, 1, and 0.5 (none when the band was put in.) Maybe he doesn't check the level each time b/c he is the only one that has ever put the fills in. Anyways, some days I can tell the band is there, others I could eat my weight. I hope both of us figure out what we need. Good luck to you and be proud of your accomplishments!

[bromo 17]

I think I would share my concerns with the surgeon. He needs to know what is going on in his office and if no one tells him then he doesn't know. Don't be afraid to address your problems with him. Just tell him as you told us. Good luck to you and I hope you get resolution soon.

[THEgeorgiaPEACH 3]

Im frustrated FOR you. This is why I'm glad my SURGEON does my fills, I dont have to deal with all that crap and he listens. That's really not okay.

[SageTracey 608]

Hey Rachel, you've definitely got a friendly audience here, so vent away!

Like someone else said, talk with your surgeon. He/She employs those other people and would want to know if they are not working effectively with patients i.e. you! You have a right to speak out about your healthcare and demand the best, so keep on insisting.

61lb in six months is amazing! Congratulations. Please don't let anyone dishearten you! Just keep on working for what you believe. And as for those photos of yourself, if you were already feeling down, then they were never going to help because you were already looking for flaws. Pull out some of your beginning pix and just check out the difference! You are so much healthier now.

Take care.

[Dave_NW 92]

Rachel, this is YOUR band journey, not theirs. If the fill PA and whoever aren't giving you the support you and your insurance are paying for, find a new practice to attend. What they're telling you is crap. You have every right to know if your band is working right, and after a sixty pound weight loss, you are not a newbie with unrealistic expectations. They are disrespecting you, and treating you as if you haven't got any sense. You KNOW how you felt before, and if things feel different, there's a reason. Unless you've overeaten to the point of stretching your pouch, it's very possible you do, in fact, have a problem. The very least they can do is verify the amount of Fluid in your band. If they won't do that, then it tells me they doubt their own work, and are trying to cover it up.

My best advice: Find out where the people you liked went. Go to that practice, if you can. If your hairdresser went to a different salon, you'd follow them, right? This isn't the same thing, but it's not all that much different.

Good luck, kid. Keep us posted. You deserve continued success. I'm pulling for you.

Dave