I can't see it...

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

The first reply to your thread was amazing.. I've been having the same problem and I haven't been sure how to address it. At my heaviest, I was probably 300 pounds at 5'8. I never got on the scale after I saw the 290s though, so there's no way to be sure. Looking at pictures is shocking because I always felt like I was just overweight.. not the "morbidly obese" tag they stuck on me. Today I am 234 and the only time I even see a small difference from 300 is when I wear a girdle I bought from walmart... Even my program coordinator said, "Oh look at your waistline!" haha. Not so much without the girdle . So it's super difficult to see what other people see.. I told my mom that even though I'm down about 50 lbs, I feel like people I haven't seen in awhile are just like, "Did you get a haircut?" haha. It's nice to see the pant size going from a 24/26 to a 16/18, but I think body dysmorphia is definitely a contender in all this. The only thing that really helps me, other than monthly pictures.. which are super embarrassing.. is my measurements. I bought some cute ribbon and each month when I tally up my total lost inches, I cut that off the ribbon spool and keep it somewhere I'll see it, like right now it's tied around my rear view mirror in the car. My biggest motivation would my mybodygallery.com ... it's amazing to see the differences in the women that are my height and weight, to the ones that are my goal weight. Whenever I feel really down about my weight loss I click around on there for awhile and it helps a little. The biggest help is the guys that pay attention to me now though, that wouldn't have looked twice 50 lbs ago. Definitely an ego booster! Okay, off for my fill in a little bit.. Good luck to all of you, and congratulations on at least taking the first step, plus any weight loss you've achieved!

Thank you so much for sharing!! You have just given me a great idea.. that ribbon deal is a great way to keep a constant reminder in front of you everyday! I am definitely going to check out mybodygallery.com .. I normally use the pix on here as motivation..but I will take whatever sources I can get. Congratulations on all of your success so far!! All the best as you continue on..get use to seeing that pant size decrease!

Please keep me posted!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

It's not uncommon at all. I still have a hard time picturing myself thin ? It's like it can't happen. To Old, To,much skin, Limits with the band, and the list can go on.....

But we don't know until we get there.

I see some Beautiful Bodacious Babes on here,,, and they were all where we all were, at one time.

So sense we are all different. I guess we will see in time.

Hang in there. That's a Normal thought that we wonder about.

Thank you Shirley!! You always have a way of cheering me up! And always have great words of wisdom and experience which I can definitely appreciate!

P.S. I got your pix.. just haven't had a ton of time! But I will definitely get back to you!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I am down 100 lbs (I weight 162 now) and I wear a size 12 or 10. I look so much better but STILL don't see myself as thin. It is a mental game we play. I try, bur I still head xxl shirts, etc

WOW!! Congratulations!! You should really try to talk to someone because down 100lbs is an amazing feat and you should be celebrating your success..not hiding behind XXL shirts! I'm sure you look amazing! But you're right..it is very much a mental game..as much as it is a physical game.

Thank you so much for sharing and all the best as you continue on your journey!!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

Thank you and I am glad you enjoyed my post.Our journey is not just about fixing the outside,it's about fixing all parts of the equation-our intentions,our minds,our hearts,our relationships with others around us,how we feel worthy,how we take care of and value ourselves and how we see ourselves.Somewhere along the way we all became out of balance in these aspects and we became obese.We must go backwards and heal and forgive the things that happened to us so we can move forward.If we find out what made us turn to food for comfort,we can forgive that in our lives and replace turning to food with healthier habits.

Good luck to all who follow in the footstepsof the brave men and women here who opted for surgery,beat obesity and came out on the other side as new and improved people. :-)

Thank you! Such golden words of wisdom! I did note that I have not been banded yet, but the journey there has been a very emotional one and I am noticing so much about myself. Things I like, don't like, need to change.. relationships ..things that need attention or things in my life I need to get rid of. This journey, so far, has been an awakening, for lack of a better word. And I know this is only the beginning.

Thank you again for sharing! Great words of advice we can all benefit from!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

Gosh you all....I never knew how much my thoughts were so true until reading this. I ve seen the doctor phil shows about Body Dismorphia and have thought - god that is me - I truly think that is why I am where I am. Once I started gaining - I couldn't see it especially the way sizes change or that was an excuse too I don't know - I banned my husband from buying me clothes saying I never know what size I wear. I had what I called fat days and thin days - somedays I could see it and somedays I am like - it's not so bad - I never know what the mirror had in store for me and pictures - I would see pictures taken of me at work events or family events and I would say - I am not photogenic - I am not that big, I do not look like that, so I always made sure I wasn't in any. But I am at the point that the thin images and days are gone and all I see and feel is big - I love summer and actually had the worse summer ever because of it, I said no more....I am due to get banded at the end of month pending insurance. I wish everyone the best and sumthin your screen name is spot on - something does have to give and were all here for you. Take care!!!

So on point!! Yes..I felt like I was reading my life in your post! Some good days..some bad days. Ready for consistency..and for the good to outweigh the bad by a long shot! Everyone loves taking pix of me..but I hate being in them.. I am so critical of myself and I always find flaws..am always looking for them. And when I find them I feel like they are magnified and everyone is paying attention to them. So trust me..I know exactly how you feel!! I am ready to be submitted to insurance..just waiting for my psych eval to be sent over. Once that's done, I'm praying for a speedy approval! All the best on your approval and surgery! Please keep me posted!

I can't wait to share in the celebration of your success!!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I think even if we are "normal" (whatever that is) and we don't have any type of "disorder", it takes awhile for our brain to catch up with the weightloss. It took me forever to really see any change. Even being at a normal BMI for over a year I still see myself as being at least overweight. I still hate pictures of myself (which is the reason I don't post before/after pics) I can't hold up clothes and even come close to guessing if they fit. I have to try everything on an plan ahead even with things in my own closet. I remember the first time a bought size 12 jeans. I wore them without washing them for the first time and I felt slim. After washing and drying, I pulled them out of the dryer and my heart sank. I thought they shrank up by a couple sizes! I said to myself, "oh, look at the cute tiny little jeans, it's a shame I may never be tiny enough to ever wear them again." I figured I would try them on and see how bad the damage was. I thought I might not even be able to pull them on all the way and knew they would never zip. I put them on and zipped them with zero effort! They fit just like they did before I washed them. It's so strange what our brains do to us. Maybe it is a good thing if my brain never catches up all the way. Maybe it will keep me in check and help me maintain.

"It's so strange what our brains do to us."

Amen to that!! We are truly our worst critics and enemies! I know I personally would not wish the type of criticism I give myself on anyone else. Far too many times I crush my own self.. but it's because I know better and I'm so tired of living this way. I'm ready for a change!

Congratulations on your success!!! That is amazing and you deserve it! I understand what you're saying about keeping yourself in check.. but I'm hoping I can see it as the change comes or even shortly thereafter.. only because I am a very visual person. I at least have to see the pant sizes decrease. I don't feel like I'm looking at me when I look in the mirror.. and I can't wait for the day when I truly see me!

Thank you for sharing!

All the best as you continue on your journey!!

[mauraclegg 29]

I am working on my self-image and there are times I wear a tighter shirt, bur I am still def more comfortable in one of hubby's T's ..I WILL see what others see , I know it. It is just a slower road- I didn't gain all that weight over night so the image change doesn't come quickly either

[anewlife10 0]

I am working on my self-image and there are times I wear a tighter shirt, bur I am still def more comfortable in one of hubby's T's ..I WILL see what others see , I know it. It is just a slower road- I didn't gain all that weight over night so the image change doesn't come quickly either

I agree with your reasoning that the weight didnt come on overnight... that might be why its slower for us to grasp our new look. I have been coming out of my box and wearing clothes I would never dream of wearing before... its scary at times! Slowly I am seeing that I am on the 'smaller side' of the scale for the first time in my life. It's a big thing to see & grasp.

[betheboo 40]

It may sound funny but I am just now starting to look in the mirror. I was so unhappy with my appearence that I used to never look in the mirror when I went to the bathroom or walked by them. 60 lbs lighter I am finally feeling more comfortable with my appearence & want to look in the mirror. Now I geel fat & frumpy when I wear oversized t shirts & confident when I wear form fitted clothing b/c it shows off my new slimmer me But trust me I still have those days where I feel like a blimp, they r just fewer & far between!

[BABYDOLL110 0]

Dear Summthins,

I had my band placed on July 20th 2011. I have always been a big girl gorgeous as ever just big. I can't picture myself in a size 12 let alone a single digit. Bc of this I have been struggling to get my head in the game. It has been almost 3 months and last I checked I was down 11 pounds. When we sabotage or thinking with negative thoughts we set ourselves up for failure. As of lately I have been attending group meetings bc there is nothing more inspirational than support. I have made this website my new Facebook and made my support groups a priority not an option. If I sit back and dwell on my failures I will never see my future success. I am giving u an assignment. Since u can't see yourself thin take a picture new or old. Shave of all the areas on your body u dislike. It will be your blueprint of what u want to look like. Since u can't see it make an image it will give you and idea of what you will look like.

I wish you success on this journey...

[xavier 153]

I still have that weird feeling of dread when I put on my (size 6) jeans that they wont go up over my thighs and that they look tiny coming out of the dryer! I never wanted to try on my original stretched out size 16s because all along, I was scared they would still fit. When I hit goal (normal BMI) I took them out of the drawer and even just folded, I couldn't believe how HEAVY they were...so much more fabric! Anyway I tried them on with some fear in my heart and then I just laughed! Lately I have been thinking about trying on my wedding dress...hmmm.