I can't see it...

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I'm getting a little discouraged.. I can't seem to picture myself thin. I can usually visualize how things will come together before they do and this is just a block!! I'm getting anxious because I know that it's a mental game as well as a physical one and I don't want to sabotage myself. Did anyone of you guys have that problem? Does it last long? How did you get over it? It's funny because I can look through peoples pix on here and I can see the thinner them in their before pix.. I can't do it w/me.. Is something wrong w/that?

[Butterfly Queen 111 3]

Dear Sumthin-

I think a percentage of us may suffer from Body Dismorphic Disorder (look it up on the Web)whenwe see ourselves as fat even when we are not.I believe I had this when I was 16 and weighed in at 140 because I thought I was morbidly obese then so I just "gave up".

You should find a counselor to talk to about this because these feelings are real.It may also help to have a series of photos taken (1 per month) where you are wearing the same outfit.This will make you consious of the clothing becoming larger on you-thus you becoming smaller.

This journey is a physical journey and a mental journey and step by step our minds have to come together with our bodies and spirit.Somtimes this is more difficult than we anticipate but it is easier to acheive if we are aware of the need for it.

Remember that lot of our thoughts and emotions played a part in becoming obese-especially comfort eating/compusive eating/reacting to bad circumstances.We are all on our way working on undoing those patterns.We are all in the process of healing our lives ,our realtionships with food,our health and our bodies.We are becoming Brand New again.

Good luck to you on your journey and don't forget to pause in front of the mirror each day and tell yourself "I am beautiful,and I am worthy of becoming my ideal weight and returning to complete health."

((((Hugs to you.)))))) :-)

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

Dear Sumthin-

I think a percentage of us may suffer from Body Dismorphic Disorder (look it up on the Web)whenwe see ourselves as fat even when we are not.I believe I had this when I was 16 and weighed in at 140 because I thought I was morbidly obese then so I just "gave up".

You should find a counselor to talk to about this because these feelings are real.It may also help to have a series of photos taken (1 per month) where you are wearing the same outfit.This will make you consious of the clothing becoming larger on you-thus you becoming smaller.

This journey is a physical journey and a mental journey and step by step our minds have to come together with our bodies and spirit.Somtimes this is more difficult than we anticipate but it is easier to acheive if we are aware of the need for it.

Remember that lot of our thoughts and emotions played a part in becoming obese-especially comfort eating/compusive eating/reacting to bad circumstances.We are all on our way working on undoing those patterns.We are all in the process of healing our lives ,our realtionships with food,our health and our bodies.We are becoming Brand New again.

Good luck to you on your journey and don't forget to pause in front of the mirror each day and tell yourself "I am beautiful,and I am worthy of becoming my ideal weight and returning to complete health."

((((Hugs to you.)))))) :-)

((((Hugs)))))

This was so amazing and inspiring!! If this is the only answer I get, I'm SO glad I posted!! Thank you so much for being so candid and real in your response. This really hit home and I feel better after having read it. It makes so much sense and I think I will look into that counselor for the long-term!

Again, thank you so much!!

Best wishes on your journey!!

[cakegirl 12]

I can't picture myself slim either because I've never BEEN slim - I have no idea what I'll look like, what my body shape will be, what styles of clothes will suit me and what won't. It's an exciting journey to a new destination I've never been before!!!

[anewlife10 0]

I truly think your feelings are very common. I am down to a size 8, but for quite some time I found myself still walking into Lane Bryant to take a look, even though there was no way I could fit into even a 12. For the past month I have had people tell me that I am getting too skinny ~ something I have NEVER been called in my life... I STILL dont see 'skinny', I see not too over-weight anymore. I have been told it takes our brains to see what everyone else sees. It's a very strange feeling, and I am slowly adapting. It's funny because when I was at my heaviest, I didnt see that either, I knew I was way way over-weight, but I didnt think I looked as big as I actually did ~ now its the opposite. Maybe I am just weird!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I can't picture myself slim either because I've never BEEN slim - I have no idea what I'll look like, what my body shape will be, what styles of clothes will suit me and what won't. It's an exciting journey to a new destination I've never been before!!!

Definitely understand that!! It should be a very exciting time. That makes sense... can't see what I've never been. But I am very much looking forward to getting there!! Thank you for sharing!!

Best wishes on your journey!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I truly think your feelings are very common. I am down to a size 8, but for quite some time I found myself still walking into Lane Bryant to take a look, even though there was no way I could fit into even a 12. For the past month I have had people tell me that I am getting too skinny ~ something I have NEVER been called in my life... I STILL dont see 'skinny', I see not too over-weight anymore. I have been told it takes our brains to see what everyone else sees. It's a very strange feeling, and I am slowly adapting. It's funny because when I was at my heaviest, I didnt see that either, I knew I was way way over-weight, but I didnt think I looked as big as I actually did ~ now its the opposite. Maybe I am just weird!

I can certainly relate to this! I haven't been banded yet..but even on my attempts to lose weight before I couldn't see it. I know it's going to come down to mind over matter. That's really what it's always been. Congratulations on your success!! 100lbs..that's amazing!! Stop going into Lane Bryant.. lol you've earned the right to shop the petite racks!

Thank you for sharing!!

All the best as you continue your journey!!

[Stacey H 4]

The first reply to your thread was amazing.. I've been having the same problem and I haven't been sure how to address it. At my heaviest, I was probably 300 pounds at 5'8. I never got on the scale after I saw the 290s though, so there's no way to be sure. Looking at pictures is shocking because I always felt like I was just overweight.. not the "morbidly obese" tag they stuck on me. Today I am 234 and the only time I even see a small difference from 300 is when I wear a girdle I bought from walmart... Even my program coordinator said, "Oh look at your waistline!" haha. Not so much without the girdle . So it's super difficult to see what other people see.. I told my mom that even though I'm down about 50 lbs, I feel like people I haven't seen in awhile are just like, "Did you get a haircut?" haha. It's nice to see the pant size going from a 24/26 to a 16/18, but I think body dysmorphia is definitely a contender in all this. The only thing that really helps me, other than monthly pictures.. which are super embarrassing.. is my measurements. I bought some cute ribbon and each month when I tally up my total lost inches, I cut that off the ribbon spool and keep it somewhere I'll see it, like right now it's tied around my rear view mirror in the car. My biggest motivation would my mybodygallery.com ... it's amazing to see the differences in the women that are my height and weight, to the ones that are my goal weight. Whenever I feel really down about my weight loss I click around on there for awhile and it helps a little. The biggest help is the guys that pay attention to me now though, that wouldn't have looked twice 50 lbs ago. Definitely an ego booster! Okay, off for my fill in a little bit.. Good luck to all of you, and congratulations on at least taking the first step, plus any weight loss you've achieved!

[54Shirley 105]

It's not uncommon at all. I still have a hard time picturing myself thin ? It's like it can't happen. To Old, To,much skin, Limits with the band, and the list can go on.....

But we don't know until we get there.

I see some Beautiful Bodacious Babes on here,,, and they were all where we all were, at one time.

So sense we are all different. I guess we will see in time.

Hang in there. That's a Normal thought that we wonder about.

[mauraclegg 29]

I am down 100 lbs (I weight 162 now) and I wear a size 12 or 10. I look so much better but STILL don't see myself as thin. It is a mental game we play. I try, bur I still head xxl shirts, etc

[anewlife10 0]

I can certainly relate to this! I haven't been banded yet..but even on my attempts to lose weight before I couldn't see it. I know it's going to come down to mind over matter. That's really what it's always been. Congratulations on your success!! 100lbs..that's amazing!! Stop going into Lane Bryant.. lol you've earned the right to shop the petite racks!

Thank you for sharing!!

All the best as you continue your journey!!

Thank you!! I have to say getting banded was the absolute best decision I have ever made, I don't regret it for one minute. I went from high blood pressure and Type II Diabetes to a normal bp and no signs of Diabetes. The only thing I take now are my Vitamins. It's not a magic pill and takes some work, and while there are times I miss being able to go to a restaurant and eat a normal meal, I still am so happy I did it.

Good luck to you... get ready for a whole new life. You will love it!

[Butterfly Queen 111 3]

((((Hugs)))))

This was so amazing and inspiring!! If this is the only answer I get, I'm SO glad I posted!! Thank you so much for being so candid and real in your response. This really hit home and I feel better after having read it. It makes so much sense and I think I will look into that counselor for the long-term!

Again, thank you so much!!

Best wishes on your journey!!

Thank you and I am glad you enjoyed my post.Our journey is not just about fixing the outside,it's about fixing all parts of the equation-our intentions,our minds,our hearts,our relationships with others around us,how we feel worthy,how we take care of and value ourselves and how we see ourselves.Somewhere along the way we all became out of balance in these aspects and we became obese.We must go backwards and heal and forgive the things that happened to us so we can move forward.If we find out what made us turn to food for comfort,we can forgive that in our lives and replace turning to food with healthier habits.

Good luck to all who follow in the footstepsof the brave men and women here who opted for surgery,beat obesity and came out on the other side as new and improved people. :-)

[Butterfly Queen 111 3]

The first reply to your thread was amazing.. I've been having the same problem and I haven't been sure how to address it.

Thanks Stacy glad you enjoyed my post!

[bander11 0]

Gosh you all....I never knew how much my thoughts were so true until reading this. I ve seen the doctor phil shows about Body Dismorphia and have thought - god that is me - I truly think that is why I am where I am. Once I started gaining - I couldn't see it especially the way sizes change or that was an excuse too I don't know - I banned my husband from buying me clothes saying I never know what size I wear. I had what I called fat days and thin days - somedays I could see it and somedays I am like - it's not so bad - I never know what the mirror had in store for me and pictures - I would see pictures taken of me at work events or family events and I would say - I am not photogenic - I am not that big, I do not look like that, so I always made sure I wasn't in any. But I am at the point that the thin images and days are gone and all I see and feel is big - I love summer and actually had the worse summer ever because of it, I said no more....I am due to get banded at the end of month pending insurance. I wish everyone the best and sumthin your screen name is spot on - something does have to give and were all here for you. Take care!!!

[Humming Bird 275]

I think even if we are "normal" (whatever that is) and we don't have any type of "disorder", it takes awhile for our brain to catch up with the weightloss. It took me forever to really see any change. Even being at a normal BMI for over a year I still see myself as being at least overweight. I still hate pictures of myself (which is the reason I don't post before/after pics) I can't hold up clothes and even come close to guessing if they fit. I have to try everything on an plan ahead even with things in my own closet. I remember the first time a bought size 12 jeans. I wore them without washing them for the first time and I felt slim. After washing and drying, I pulled them out of the dryer and my heart sank. I thought they shrank up by a couple sizes! I said to myself, "oh, look at the cute tiny little jeans, it's a shame I may never be tiny enough to ever wear them again." I figured I would try them on and see how bad the damage was. I thought I might not even be able to pull them on all the way and knew they would never zip. I put them on and zipped them with zero effort! They fit just like they did before I washed them. It's so strange what our brains do to us. Maybe it is a good thing if my brain never catches up all the way. Maybe it will keep me in check and help me maintain.