My Emotional & Mental Fight with Upcoming Surgery Date

[Cynsayshun 10]

Going through the pre-op diet, has been really emotional, this time of year is always emotional for me as my husband passed away on Sept 29, 2003. Now it seems exacerbated I had been excited about my surgery date on October 4, 2011 and then this weekend, it hit me that day was the date of my husbands funeral. :sad:

Then this Monday morning while driving to work with all the thoughts of our love, my missing him, the surgery date, etc., over the radio, comes our wedding song!! "Always & Forever" I lost it!!! I had to call my son as I was bawling like crazy.. It was a moment I had to let it all out..So now my mind is playing tricks on me, as I had been saying my surgery date was a "new beginning" for me, when previously it was a date I buried my husband. Of course the crazy thoughts of ...when they put you to sleep on Oct 4th for your procedure, it's going to be the day you join Rob (my husbands name). I know I have to "turn off" the crazy thinking, as I am not going to change the date. I'm just going to "forge" on and make it through this week and through Monday Oct 3. On a positive note,the weight loss during this 2 week pre-op diet, has kept me from filling my face while going through this jumbled mess of emotions, so that may be my "saving grace" I just needed to put my feelings out there, thanks for being a place I can do so..

[bromo 17]

I can empathize with you. My husband passed away Sept 10, 2007. I had my surgery 2 weeks ago on Sept 14. I was an especially emotional mess around the anniversary of his death this year and part of it I contribute to being on the pre op diet. I was missing him and his support of everything I did in life. I wanted to share this with him as well. In the end, I realized he was supporting me, and would be proud of this step I took to a better and healthier life. Hope you are able to work through this.

[sassy k's mommy 1]

I am sorry for your lost. I am not going to lie to you.. This is a mental journey along with a physical journey.. However, the outcome overweighs eveything you can think of. You are getting your life back and you will be able to be here longer for your son. He is with you every day in your heart and memories.. I think that he would be very proud of you for doing this. It takes a lot of consideration and preparation in order to have this surgery..

Personally, I don't regret having this surgery because i have a life now.. I am preventing myself from having the health problems related to being overweight or obesed. I am making it to where my little girl doesn't have to grow up without her mother.

you have to do this for you and you alone.. i wish you the best on your journey..

[Cynsayshun 10]

This site has wonderful support and it never fails someone can relate to almost everything we go through. Bromo you have definitely walked in my shoes. My husband loved me through small weight years and when I ballooned the year he was dying. He was my "go to" person my Bff. My children have there children and spouses and seemingly think I'm the strongest woman they know, so they won't travel here to be by my side. My sisters & my father are here and will be with me that day. Sassy K. Such wise and comforting words. I thank u both for your thoughtfulness I'm hoping after I get banded and my spirits lift I can Pay It Forward!! Big ((((((. )))))) hug to you both.

[54Shirley 105]

It's said that "When the Lord Closes a Door, Somewhere he opens a Window"

I am sorry for your Loss I know my Mother died a week after Our Wedding Anniversary, and a week before my Birthday.

Well I thought that was bad enough ! Only to learn that she Died on her Wedding Anniversary.

This was a ruff time.

You will be Celebrating a New Birthday ! Don't you think your Husband would be Very Proud of You ! I sure do !

It is now your Opportunity to Blossom ! Coincidence ? Maybe.... Faith ! sounds more like it to me.

I know your sad, but Hold you Head up High while you do this, and think of him.

Next year you will have a Birthday to Celebrate, and you can say it's for him too.

Hope this Helps, and makes sense to you

[Cynsayshun 10]

It's said that "When the Lord Closes a Door, Somewhere he opens a Window"

I am sorry for your Loss I know my Mother died a week after Our Wedding Anniversary, and a week before my Birthday.

Well I thought that was bad enough ! Only to learn that she Died on her Wedding Anniversary.

This was a ruff time.

You will be Celebrating a New Birthday ! Don't you think your Husband would be Very Proud of You ! I sure do !

It is now your Opportunity to Blossom ! Coincidence ? Maybe.... Faith ! sounds more like it to me.

I know your sad, but Hold you Head up High while you do this, and think of him.

Next year you will have a Birthday to Celebrate, and you can say it's for him too.

Hope this Helps, and makes sense to you

It makes a lot of sense, Shirley.. Yes he would be proud .. The Lord has "Opened the Window" and I'm going to go through it.. Thank you for 'sharing"

[Tanya_cotto 5]

I think that the song playing on the radio was a sign from your husband.

You were thinking of him and he let you know right back that you were on his mind.

I know that you will have such a great surgery day and recovery time,

especially with such a strong Guarding Angel!

Sending you a mental hug!!

[bander11 0]

I know the feeling - in pondering dates I keep saying nope can't have that one it's too close to my daughters B'Day 10/2 - she passed away 12/2004. Then there is 10/14 - nope that's when my daddy died but I still have a couple clearances to go through so were shooting for 10/26 or 11/3 don't thing I have any issues with either of those dates. But it's funny how we let dates control us. My daughter did it too - she was scheduled for a Csection on 10/14 (this has been a few years ago) she was exited about having a date for her son to be born - but then she got home and was telling me the date - it hit her - she said oh mom, I can't do that date - she jumped right on the phone and requested the day before or after - so my grandson was born 10/13/2004. I agree with the poster above that you hearing your song was a sign...He's watching over you and I am sure supporting you - he will be there holding your hand until you wake up - Take care and let us know how you are doing...