Eating disorder

[betheboo 40]

So... This is hard to admit but... I kinda thinking I have traded one eatinf disorder, over eating, with another, anorexia/bulemia. I know it's wrong & I try really hard to watch myself around others b/c they r starting to notice. I find if I eat alone I throw everything up or simply chew the food up & spit.it out. I feel best about myself if I only eat 300~400 cals a day & I'm only happy when I am averaging a 5~7 lb wt.loss per week.

Has ne one else on here gone thru this?! I'm a nurse I know how bad these habit r but for the first time in my life I feel like I have control over food.

[Nechama L 4]

You really need to speak with someone about this. Aside from the regular bulemia dangers, imagine what all that acid could be doing to your band?

[AKgirl 0]

You are not alone, I have to say this type of behavior has crossed my mind but like you I work in a hospital 12 hour shifts and when I only eat 500 cal/day I am so tired and I get sick all the time. This is just another part of our journey, getting control of our control issues. It is just as important to fix what we think as it is to fix what we eat. Good Luck and you have plenty of support here.

[stateofzen 46]

You do have support here, but you need to see an eating disorders specialist. Admitting you have the problem is so important, so good for you, but now it's time to seek some help before it wrecks your health AND your relationship with your body and your nutritional needs.

[anewchapter 0]

I also agree that you should probably talk to someone about this behaviour

["AmyRose" 2]

You have my support but I am going to be honest. You do not have control over food yet. food still has control of you. If you are seeing a patiant with a drug problem and they no longer are on one drug but they now have a problem with a different drug. Does this person still have a drug problem? The hardest part was admiting you have a problem. Now get some help. Its ok to ask for help.

[scubadarz 0]

Wow, betheboo, I could have written your post. I am going through the exact same thing. It scares me so much to go back to being fat that I am now bordering on being underweight. I know I have a problem and need help, but I don't even know where to start. Thanks for posting about this very difficult topic.

[nu2ywg 4]

When I went for my psychiatric evaluation before surgery, I asked what exactly they were looking for and they mentioned that people who are addicted to food may trade their addiction for something else like gambling or drugs and she also said some people can develop eating disorders...so you are not alone! I'm sorry that you are going through this but as a nurse you obviously know it's only a matter of time before you will have some serious problems. You took the step to tell us, now tell someone else. Did you have a psychiatric evaluation before surgery? Could you go back to that person? Take care of yourself, you're worth it.

[54Shirley 105]

Yes you need to see someone !

You think you have control of the food, are you sure the food doesn't have control of you.

Please see someone, this can be straightened out.

[vlp1968 83]

I agree with all above posts- get help as soon as possible. There are counselors who specialize in eating disorders. You have not gained control over food, you only think you have. The way it's controling you has just changed, at least that's my layman opinion. You are not alone in this at all. When one stops food, but hasn't really dealt with the emotional/psychological reasons for the overeating, another addiction is bound to surface. Years ago, I quit smoking pot (well for a time) and almost immediatley began gambling. They call it addiction transfer. I had lots of therapy before being banded and after. I am happy to say I am clean 2 years now. You can do this! Don't wait- seek help now!

[iseethinme 0]

if you throw up too much you are at Risk for a Band Slip! Don't do it! Seek help now before its too late. I don't have an eating disorder but my Band did slip and I had to have another surgery.

I try to do everything in my power not to throw up! Please seek help now. 1st step is knowing you have a problem.

[betheboo 40]

Thanks everyone for your support. Sometimes it's nice to know hour not the only one going through something... I actually made an appt with my counselor for tomorrow, @ the urging of my friends & the comments I got here. I haven't been to therapy for a while... Don't know how much we'll work on the eating disorder thing though, my mom was diagnosed with renal cancer with mets to the lung today She's only 59...

[violetacoqui 2]

Thanks everyone for your support. Sometimes it's nice to know hour not the only one going through something... I actually made an appt with my counselor for tomorrow, @ the urging of my friends & the comments I got here. I haven't been to therapy for a while... Don't know how much we'll work on the eating disorder thing though, my mom was diagnosed with renal cancer with mets to the lung today She's only 59...

[violetacoqui 2]

Betheboo: My heart goes out to you! You go ahead and talk to your counselor, talk to someone, now more than ever you, YOU, need to be in control. You need to be healthy, 100%, to be able to hlp your mom go through her issues!! Please do something right away. This was no easy surgery or desiton, why waste all your progress! Come on, get up and do what YOU know NEEDS to be done! Take care! Pearl

[Jachut 487]

I havent actually indulged in any of these behaviours, nor thought about it, but I certainly have been underweight and been obsessed with staying there. I was sick and having chemo at the time and I was thrilled with my ultra low weight - I couldnt see that it looked bad although others were expressing concern. Now I'm back to a normal weight - with a BMI of about 20 to 21 and it's driving me crazy, I feel compelled to diet hard to get back to that low weight and I'm getting myself into that binge/starve cycle again where I'm ultra "good" for days and then my body rebels and I pig out on bad foods. Which only leads to more weight gain.

I can usually get myself on track again though. I know its disordered thinking/behaviour and I can recognise it when I do it and with concerted effort get back to healthier ways. I really need to accept my current 65kg which is still less than I was at this time last year - thinking of 140ish pounds at 5ft 10 as fat is really ridiculous.

It was cancer that sent me on that spiral too, but in me, not a relative. I'm so sorry for what your mother is going to have to go through - and you too. Stay strong and healthy.