a hole in my soul

cmr · February 5, 2006

I am really struggling with some issues today. I can't quite figure out what my problem is. I think I might be grieving over not being able to eat Breakfast because I can't get it down. Grieving because if I try to eat more than 1/2 of a piece of chicken I end up PBing all afternoon. I even have trouble getting all of my Water in. I finally have good restriction and I am happy about that. The scale is beginning to move again, but my mood is low.:cry How can that be? This is what I wanted right? It might be that I am having trouble taking my throid medicine in the morning. I am on Lexapro already. I don't know. Maybe it's because my youngest if off at collage and I am a single parent. Maybe it's just lonliness, but then again, I like being alone most of the time.

I am a high school teacher and I love my job. My students would be really surprised to find out that I am having trouble with depression. I just feel lost. Does Lexapro become ineffective after a while? Is it menapause? I know that if I just get out and take a walk I'll feel better, but it doesn't go away.

Am I grieving over food? ???

babsintx3 · February 5, 2006

CIndy,

All you feelings are normal. We all grieve food during this journey. I can assure you that as you lose weight, your level of restriction will decrease a little as you lose stomach fat. Howver, if you are too tight to take your pill in the morning, then try to take it later in the day when your band opens up a little or see if you can get a liquid substitute. Hang in there. IT gets better.

Babs in TX

334/180ih

-150 ish

6/23/03

DevilMayKare · February 5, 2006

I can't quite figure out what my problem is.
I think I might be grieving over not being able to eat...

Maybe it's because my youngest if off at collage and I am a single parent. Maybe it's just lonliness

Is it menapause?

Am I grieving over food??

I know that if I just get out and take a walk I'll feel better, but it doesn't go away.

My guess is all of the above. I feel exactly the same way, but I'm not on Lexopro (or anything) because I don't think any of them work longterm when depression and sadness or more of a life issue than a chemical imbalance. I'm a menopausal single mom too and already grieving for next fall when my youngest goes off to college and my nest is totally empty. (He's out w/ friends so much now it's almost like he's already left.)

I have no words of wisdom except to say that you're not in this alone. Walking, music, long showers and a good book are about the best help I've found. Oh--and coming here for emtional support!

Hang in there.

:hug:

Jessiebear · February 5, 2006

I am still grieving food. It is getting better though. I kinda feel like i lost my best friend. How long have you been on Lexapro? I took it for a month & couldn't stand it! I actually felt worse. I couldn't scrape myself off the couch! Hang in there!

mommy3boys · February 5, 2006

i've had my band for 3 years and just got my third fill 1/11/06. it is great restriction level. but i am too grieving the loss of food, mostly i ate out of boredom and comfort. i have 3 small boys and i'm also a single mother. sometimes i see something that looks so good i wish i could just have the whole thing not just a bite. but after a little while i move on to something else and the feeling passes. i was on lexapro after the father of my boys cheated and while was completing my divorce. now i think i just miss food and it will probably be a slow and steady emotional loss.

hang in there, we are all in the same boat.

take care,

ana

242/188/150

vinesqueen · February 5, 2006

Hey Cindy, I agree with Kare <3 Bear. But if you cannot get in your thyroid meds in the morning, you are too tight. If you are having difficulty getting in your Water, you are too tight. If you are having trouble eating 1/2 a piece of chicken, you are too tight.

It might be that your calories are just too damn low. I know when I spent a month too restricted that it really affected my mood and my energy level.

La_madam · February 5, 2006

You are grieveing the loss of your best friend "FOOD"

Like so many ouf us obese people, food was our best friend, the thing we turned to when we were sad, when we were happy etc...now it is not so easy to turn to food when you have good restriction..what you are feeling is normal..once you really start to see a change in your clothing and quality of life..your mood will become something of happiness and that hole in your soul will be filled with joy! hang in there :puke:

ejezyk · February 6, 2006

I absolutly ubderstand... I feel really alone sometimes especially now that I can't eat like I used to. I am happy to lose the weight but WOW I get kinda lost and aimless now that I can't retreat to the food like I used to. I take prozac. I with ya but this board really helps.

Elda

Bell · February 6, 2006

Something you might want to try with your meds.. ask the pharmacist if your meds can be crushed. I know the Lexapro can be, because I crush mine and take it mixed with applesauce at night. I take 5 meds a day and I crush them all. The other problems sound like you need just a slight unfil.