The WHY ARE MEN SO WEIRD thread.

[kimalicious 5]

""My girlfriend's hubby twirls his willy in circles thinking it will turn her on. She just walks away in disgust while he scratches his head wondering what he did wrong.""

Oh lord, my husband does this to be funny and sings real low while he does it: "helicopta, helicopta, helicopta" in a New York accent, it crack me up.

[HeatherGurl 0]

""My girlfriend's hubby twirls his willy in circles thinking it will turn her on. She just walks away in disgust while he scratches his head wondering what he did wrong.""

Oh lord, my husband does this to be funny and sings real low while he does it: "helicopta, helicopta, helicopta" in a New York accent, it crack me up.

This is good stuff, glad my hubby isn't the only one!!!

[Kryssa 1]

Thanks for making me laugh, ya'll. Tears are practically running down my face and some of my office mates think I've lost my mind.

Why is my man weird? He hates sports, takes out the trash, changes lightbulbs, does laundry (yes, even down to putting my undies in a lingerie bag or air-drying my shirts), he does dishes (when asked) dusts (when asked), and cooks (without being asked!). He does not change the TP roll and forgets the toilet seat about half the time, but those are the only manifestations of testosterone I really have to deal with. He wants nothing to do with our finances and his favorite phrase is "whatever you think, baby".

Why is he annoying? He grinds his teeth at night: REALLY REALLY loud, but I've gotten used to it and now the world's lightest sleeper (me) sleeps right through it. Oh, yeah, and he only wants sex once a week (note: THAT is NOT a good thing!).

But why is he wonderful? Aside from the above, he wants me to buy a new wedding ring set for Valentine's Day. We couldn't afford anything nice when we got married and he is worrying about it. It's the first and only time he has "put his foot down" about money. I'm required to spend a minimum of $2000. I've been window shopping all week.

All in all: he's a keeper!

[DeLarla 22]

Oh lord, my husband does this to be funny and sings real low while he does it: "helicopta, helicopta, helicopta" in a New York accent, it crack me up.

OKAY, I REALLY GOTTA STOP CRYING AND WORK NOW! helicopta, helicopta! I can't wait to tell my Long Island hairdresser that one!

Helicopta helicopta!

[SherryW 4]

Too funny. But, isn't it nice to know it's not just at your house? It's a man thing and we love em :couch2:

My hubby snores too really bad, I"m hoping he loses some weight along with me when I'm banded. I told him since I won't be able to eat much I won't order my own meal I'll take some of his...hence he'll have fewer calories. He's game! lol. If losing weight helped Paul...maybe it will help my hubby :clap: Although...I am used to his snoring it's only on some nights I stay up until I'm completely Exhausted then i go back to bed and sleep through it. Most of the time I don't hear it anymore.

Paul...sorry you had the couch *ouch* My husband says he'd do that but I say no way...I'll get used to the snorin

[ReneBean 3]

Bad husbands, eh...:couch2:

I do all the laundry, including delicates that I hand wash, and home dry cleaning. I cook all the meals except for the occasional Sunday Breakfast. I do the dishes. I do the grocery shopping (only fitting, since I do the cooking). I do all the finances (she hates handling numbers). I do all the home repair and improvement (I have been remodeling the house 1 room at a time... master bedroom is next). I run the vacuum every other day. I do the yard work, planting etc. (I have a service cut the grass, but I do everything else). I pick up my daugher from daycare everyday, and do her homework with her

What does she do... we have a lady who cleans the house for her... she drops my daughter off every morning at daycare... she takes out the trash on Sunday nights... and sometimes I do that.

Don't talk about us guys...wait a minute, I sound like a wife...:phanvan

Bwaaaaaaaaaa:cry

I feel so emasculated. I need chocolate... is Oprah on now?:nervous

That's IT. I am dumping my husband for YOU, Paul. I am the sole breadwinner for our household, I volunteered for that when we moved to Texas. I had some FANTASY that my DH could do as Paul has described. I wanted someone to take care of all that crap that I hate and let me do what I am good at - making money.

Bless his heart - My DH is the best cook on the planet. His food is so great that I might have to keep him on the side after I dump him for Paul, but his housekeeping SUCKS. God help me if I question the fact that there are dust bunnies in the corners of my bathroom... he is mortally wounded that I could find fault.

Paul, Honey, I have lots of money to buy chocolate and a 36 inch screen in the living room so you never have to miss Oprah. Can you keep 2300 square feet spotless and put up with another man in your kitchen??

xo

[Wheetsin 714]

Oh lord, my husband does this to be funny and sings real low while he does it: "helicopta, helicopta, helicopta" in a New York accent

Ahha hahahahah *rofl* ahah ahahahhh hahha hahahhahhhh ahhhahaha *rofl* *rofl* ahahahh hahahahh hahhhha hahahahahhahhaha *rofl* ahahhha hahhh hahahahahahhahahahah *gasp for air* ahahahahahahahahah ahahah *ouch it hurts* ahahaha hahahahah *rofl* ahah ahahahhh hahha hahahhahhhh ahhhahaha *rofl* *rofl* ahahahh hahahahh hahhhha hahahahahhahhaha *rofl* ahahhha hahhh hahahahahahhahahahah

I was ok with the swinging in circles, but the "helicopta" kills me!

What is it with guys and their weenies? Do they think that whirling at us is going to have a hypnotic effect? Do they think we're mesmermized by their flapping phalus? Look into my eyes... I mean... 'eye'...

[Wheetsin 714]

Ok speaking of guys you walk by and their pants...

There was a guy who worked with us once. He was OK looking, but thought he was pretty hot. If you went in his office to talk to him, he'd pull a chair around by you, spread his legs real wide, slouch, and put his hands behind his head and expect you to have a regular conversation like this.

But here's the bad part. When guys do this, you can't help but look... down there. You don't want to, but you can't help it... it's like a car accident. You try not to look, and really don't want to, but you succumb to forces greater than yourself. And there you are. A meat gazer.

[dawg 0]

Helicopta??

Holy crap, men really are wierd.

You win ladies. We're wierd. Undeniable, irrifutable FACT.

[giveyouthemoon 4]

Hey dawg...so today over lunch I happened to remember this thread and was telling my guy about it. Told him about your admiration for goats. And how I'd told you he likes monkeys. And you saying "monkeys are an acceptable substitute for goats".

He replied "you know I like goats. I've always wanted one. Just think, I could have a big yard and a goat and I'd never have to mow. That would be so cool."

It was then I began plotting me and PhotoNut and a Thelma and Louise style getaway while you two yo-yo's talk monkeys and goats.....

: pounds head on desk :

[dawg 0]

Hey dawg...so today over lunch I happened to remember this thread and was telling my guy about it. Told him about your admiration for goats. And how I'd told you he likes monkeys. And you saying "monkeys are an acceptable substitute for goats".

He replied "you know I like goats. I've always wanted one. Just think, I could have a big yard and a goat and I'd never have to mow. That would be so cool."

It was then I began plotting me and PhotoNut and a Thelma and Louise style getaway while you two yo-yo's talk monkeys and goats.....

:pounds head on desk:

Perhaps you should be asking yourselves why YOU have such a problem with goats and monkeys.

Ladies, you betta recognize!! Goats and Monkeys are cool. Its as much a fact as men being wierd.

Oh, and the damn nickel on a stick. If you have neither goat or monkey, but you DO own a welding torch... what better thing could there be to do?

Hmm... there is of course fitting 3 inch exhausts on your SUV just to annoy the neighbours. Can I? Oo OO PLEASE??

[PamRN 0]

See?? It's a birth defect, we all start out as girls you know.

[kimalicious 5]

I will have to tell my dad of the Nickle/stick invention. He just got a new $2000 welder for his anniversary present from my mom, we could make millions! Millions I say!

Has any of your husbands done the steamroller in bed? Mine will be at the foot of the bed and lay down and scream "STEAMROLLER!!" and then roll up and down the bed over me like a damn steamroller.

I also acuse him of making out with the dog when I'm not home. We have a 20 pound cocker mix named Sissy and sometimes I swear he loves her more than me. He has taught her to come give him "kisses" and she licks him all over the face and then turns back and looks at me while she's doing it, like Boom, I got yo man. I think they practice all day!

[Kryssa 1]

I will have to tell my dad of the Nickle/stick invention. He just got a new $2000 welder for his anniversary present from my mom, we could make millions! Millions I say!

I also acuse him of making out with the dog when I'm not home. We have a 20 pound cocker mix named Sissy and sometimes I swear he loves her more than me. He has taught her to come give him "kisses" and she licks him all over the face and then turns back and looks at me while she's doing it, like Boom, I got yo man. I think they practice all day!

ROFL! I told my husband about the nickels on a stick too, His reaction was similar: OH! Cool! I could do that! Men are so weird!

My hubby also makes out with the dogs (no, not literally). We have a german shepard (Tasha) and a beagle (Darcy) who both try to sit in his lap and give him kisses at the same time. Sometimes he crawls around on the floor with them before greeting me when he gets home! But I fixed that lil wagon. I have a 4 1/2 month old bulldog mutt puppy named Franklin whose greatest joy in life is to back up in front of me, place one of his back feet on each of my feet and growl at John if he comes near me. You can almost hear him: MY mommy! It may be a girl puppy/man and boy puppy/woman thing. Who knows? Men and dogs are weird!

Speaking of weird...what's with the "Hey honey, I'm a towel rack" thing?

[giveyouthemoon 4]

what's with the "Hey honey, I'm a towel rack" thing?

ROFLMAO!!!! Oh yes....I've had more than ONE boyfriend try THAT trick......best just to say "yes, but it's such a TINY towel rack it would only hold a washcloth"....suddenly that thing ain't holding many towels, that I can guarantee.