To Tell or Not To Telll....That is The Question

[TheRealSouthernBelle 22]

Just a little background on me first. I got the band in Dec. 2010 and so far have lost 100 lbs. since my first consult. I told NO ONE about getting Lap Band except my boyfriend (who went to all my appointments and was there at the surgery) and the lady who I first talked to about it (she had it over 2 years). It has become noticeable that I have lost a ton of weight and I often get compliments and friends want weight loss advice. I was talking to one of my friends (we've been friends since elementary and her idea of over weight is the 160 she now weighs instead of the 120 she did in high school) on the phone and she was like you have lost a lot of weight, how much more do you planning on losing (as if I had already lost enough). I said well, my ultimate goal is 160 and she asked how far I was away from that (basically just a nice way to find out how much I weighed). So, I was like let me tell back up and tell you my whole story. Then she interrupted me (I was going to tell her about my lowest weight my freshman year in college and how I'm getting close to that) and said, "Oh Lord, don't tell me you had Lap Band"! I was taken aback and said, "No, I wasn't going to tell you that, I was going to tell you about my weight loss since freshman year in college" and she was like "Oh". And that moment I realized why I hadn't told anyone about MY surgery. It is just that, my surgery! I do not need anyone's negativity, sideways comments, or unsupportiveness. If you are contemplating on telling people or not, just think before you act. In my case it was best that I didn't!

[sweetpea61956 6]

I have told everyone, because it is my life and I am taking control of it. but having said that...everyone has to do what they feel comfortable with. Matter of fact... True Results has a program called Forward Circle where if people use your associate code get the surgery you make money..soo. I figure, I love my band and talk about it all the time, I may as well benefit financially too.

[SageTracey 608]

Telling others is a really personal decision. I made the decision with my husband to have the surgery and only told our kids plus my mother. I felt they had a right to know that I was having surgery just in case something went wrong. Later I told a very close friend and then two others guessed. I don't want to lie to my friends so I confirmed their guesses but asked them to respect my privacy, which they have.

I have battled with my weight since my teens so my sons have never known me as anything other than fat, with a bit of yo yo up and down. My eldest son is getting married next year and is trying to lose weight before then. I was shocked and quite upset when he told me this weekend that I had taken the lazy way out! Needless to say I pointed out that I must still manage my diet and exercise and that WLS is no lazy way out becauseI have tried everything else and need a tool which will help me to make a permanent lifestyle change.

I don't regret telling my son about the surgery, but it just reinforces my belief that it's my body, my health, my choice and I don't want to be justifying my decision to people who haven't done the research, haven't been through it and often don't have a weight problem anyway!

[rn2012 6]

My plan is to only tell my close friends and family once i have my inurance approval and surgery date. I really dont want to have this conversation with my coworkers and become a science project with the million ???I'm currently in the process of switching careers(current job-12years) so u know how much of my business they already know and i'll graduate in May 2012 with a nursing degree, so if i have it my way i"ll get the surgery in Nov and Dec and resign find a Nursing job in july 2012, and by then im hoping to lose 50-60lbs and folks will think i did it myself and avoid all the ??? and start a new job and nobody will know my secret

[PackersFan 4]

I told my close friends, close coworkers and immediate family. As far as everyone else goes... my policy is this: If I think it's someone that truly wants to know how I did it because they are also struggling with their weight, then I'm honest with them. But everyone else gets the "I cut out all bread and soda, drink a ton of Water and exercise three times a day" which just so happens to all be true.

[BaileyRose 13]

You exercise 3 times a day??? I'm impressed!

I told my husband, obviously, my immediate family, his immediate family and my close friends. My mother in law was my biggest fan and was beyond excited so she took the liberty to tell everyone. And I mean everyone. At first, I was a little uncomfortable with it just because I'm insecure about my weight, understandably, and don't like any sort of attention drawn to it. But then I just learned to embrace it, I guess. I don't mind telling people really... I mean, I'm not shouting it from my rooftop but if someone asks how I've lost weight I tell them "I eat under 1200 calories a day, work out 5 times a week and 5 weeks ago I had lapband surgery that helps me be satisfied on smaller amounts of food". Everyone I've mentioned it to has been excited for me. Only one person told me before surgery that I was crazy. And he only said that because he's scared of surgery and would never elect to have anything done. He's also about 5'8" and probably weighs 145. He has no idea what it's like to live in a body like mine. I wasn't offended...

With all that said, it's completely a personal decision. I understand not wanting to tell others.

I told my close friends, close coworkers and immediate family. As far as everyone else goes... my policy is this: If I think it's someone that truly wants to know how I did it because they are also struggling with their weight, then I'm honest with them. But everyone else gets the "I cut out all bread and soda, drink a ton of Water and exercise three times a day" which just so happens to all be true.

[Cindy C 150]

In the beginning, I told absolutely everybody! I thought the more people who knew, the more I would have to be accountable. I also felt that if the whole world knew it would cut down on potential gossip. Nobody would say, "How is she losing weight? You think she had surgery?" They all knew I did. Now, after 3 years and almost 150 pounds, if someone I haven't seen in a long time asks, my answer is usually something like, "I took over control of my life!" The only time I go into detail is if it's someone I think could benefit from it. My son still tells everybody but that's OK. It's because he's so proud of my success. He had his own weight problems too but managed to get them under control in High School. At 10 years old and he was zeroing in on 200#. Now he's 21, 6'3" and 185 pounds. He's quite the little hotty and I'm proud of him too. If he hadn't gotten control, he would have been right next to me having surgery too!

[Texasbandit 8]

Hmmm...I think people are on a need to know basis. I've told my hubby and neice cause we live together. My sister-in-law knows. My mother in-law and thats about it. I havent told my family. I didnt want them to worry. I will get around to it eventually. I know they will have a ton of questions and I have so much gas I'm not in the mood.

[justmermp 6]

I had only planned on my husband, mother and in-laws knowing but come to find out, my husband told the neighbors and my mother in law has told her whole side of the family and everyone at the nail salon I go to. I was very disappointed to find this out but I guess I should have made it clear I didn't want everyone to know!! I just don't think it's anyone's business unless I choose it to be. Oh well!

[razzcatt 2]

I haven't told anyone about the surgery. I have struggled with my weight since I was a teen, and my family has heard me say year after year how "this is the year I am going to lose this weight" only to fail. As I am the only one who is overweight they have never really understood the struggles and loss of self-esteem that I have gone through because of this excess weight. I am afraid that if they knew, they would think I took the easy way out. So for now, my family and friends will see me eating properly and exercising, and for once, see it working!

[pinklily27 61]

This is an interesting question and I agree with many of the other posters. It is a VERY personal decision. I chose to tell close family and friends as well as a few co-workers. One of my co-workers reacted very negatively replying "Don't end up like so many of those women who lose alot of weight, leave their husbands and break up their families" Not sure how she made that leap because there are plenty of overweight women who leave thier husbands too. Besides I was't losing weight to get a date, I was losing weight to get healthy. I didn't let her comment bother me and I pressed on. Interestinly enough, she left her husband a few months later and is now divorced while I am very happily married. Sometimes, you can't judge how people will react so each person has to gauge that for his or herself.

[CrisM 0]

I agree with many of the posting here about how it's YOUR OWN personal decision. I told my mother and two sisters and that is it. I live with them, so it was only right, plus I know that they are very supportive. I don't plan on telling other people that I will be getting the lap band. I don't like sharing too much of my personal life with others. Best of luck on what you decide. Just know that you have this forum full of great people willing to help and share their own experiences.

[GetinMyBelly 0]

I agree with most of you. It is a personal decision. I haven't had the surgery yet. I have to complete a 3month md supervised diet, sleep study, and endoscopy. I struggled with my weight for ten years. I have a low BMI of 36 and I'm not sure if I want people to know I had the surgery. Just my husband and kids know I'm having it. I will tell my best friend but thats about it. Most people will never understand why you elected to have WLS because they're either comfortable with their weight. It's you business. If they want to know..just tell them that you eat smaller portions and you work out...which would be the truth.