comment from my mom

[kittyforet 50]

So my mom made a comment yesterday that I took as hurtful, but maybe I am reading too much into it....not really sure how to take the comment, maybe I am too sensitive.

Me, my mom, sister, and niece went for pedicures and then to eat lunch at a Mexican restaurant. I ordered a platter that had a taco, chili con queso puff, rice, Beans, enchilada, and a tamale. I ate less than 10 chips (a HUGE deal for me to stop at less than 10!) and salsa and took baby sips of my Water when needed. I wasn't planning on eating the entire platter, but wanted a few bites of everything that I could handle. So far I can eat rice, tortillas, etc. No problems with any food yet, thankfully.

Our food arrived and I pushed away the taco shell and only ate the meat, then most of the ccq puff (ccq is my favorite!) and about half of the tamale. At this point I didn't want to over-do it, so I pushed my plate away. I intended to take the rest home to hubby. When I pushed away my plate my niece asked if i was full, and I said no with a little laugh, thinking I was going to win over the hunger monster....

And then she said it.....

My mom said "wow you ate so much"

I took it as "wow you cow you ate so much!"

maybe she meant it as "I can't believe you were able to get so little food in"

Pre-banding I would have eaten the entire platter plus a bowl of chips by myself. Post-banding I eat small portions that are pre-weighed or pre-measured, unless I am going out to eat, and then I only eat up to half or order a kids meal....The band doesn't stop me yet, I stop myself to prevent PB, etc. I've been stuck a few times and don't want to chance that.

Was I tummy full? Not sure. Head full? no way. I did end up eating the rest of the tamale, it was small....but lost my appetite after the comment.

So far I have 3.9cc in my band and work every day not to gorge myself....I have fill #3 in 2 weeks. I struggle every day to change my eating habits and track my food and exercise online.

My mom has been very supportive of my surgery, even asking people at her work (huge medical center) that have had the surgery and will share their success/failures with me. I've never been super close to her, so that may play a part in why the comment has me confused.

I'm finally in onederland, right now betweem 196-197 and 195 is in sight. Haven't been under 200 in at least 14 years, if not longer. My sister is a little older, 40, and after 4 kids, she still weighs 95 pounds soaking wet. I am the only one in my family with weight issues......

I did watch what my sister ate yesterday (we ordered similar plates) and I ate about the same as she did and she eats like a bird. She even had 1 full Dr Pepper plus drank half her refill, while I sipped on less than 1/4 of my ice water.

Anyone else deal with anything like this? Am I being weird? I'm a little hurt thinking the comment was meant to be mean, but again I am sensitive.....

blah.....

[Tabby Ann 10]

I understand what you are going through. Not all but A lot of ppl that isn't banded doesn't understand anything but what they have heard here and there about bandsters. I think ppl that is unaware has heard that banded ppl only can eat child size portions so when eat more then that it amazes them.

I don't know you or your mom but try not to take what she said to heart. It could've been more an amazement that you were able to eat more then a handful that caused the statement.

I think you did awesome. Mexican is one of my favorite foods and the hubby and I used to go to this local place on a regular basis. I have only been there once since being banded and I didn't not order. Like you I limited myself with the chips and ordered a combo plate. I only ate the refried Beans, half the rice and hesitantly took my lovely burito and enchilada off the shell and ate only the meat.

Hang in there and don't let ppl get you down. You know your own limits & what you can and should have.

[brenda62 47]

for me that is a lot of food to eat, but we are all different. I have to eat 6 times a day because I am hungry every two or so hours. I think your mom was just trying to be helpful and since she is around people who are banded she has seen what they eat. But like I said, we are all different, most of us were told no more than 1 cup of food at a time and I find that is usually to much for me. It is a good thing though, it keeps me from over eating! Good luck and I would not worry to much about your mom, this is your band and you are learning how to use your tool right now. As long as you are loosing and feel good you are doing what is right for you.

[sweetpea61956 6]

your mom may be like a lot of people...and think that you can only eat 1/2...she doesn't realize that it still takes willpower and that is ok to sometimes over do it...just not on a regular basis. try to let it go and just know you are doing what is best for you. good luck

[honk 780]

I don't know what today say about your mother's comment. I will say maybe 2 months after surgery I went out to eat with my mother and I mentally cut the food in half. I stopped even though I was'nt full. My mother said to me "That's more than I've seen you eat in MONTHS". Well it was the truth and I'm sure she did'nt mean it to be hurtful but I was a little annoyed.

One comment I would make is why are you drinking while you are eating? Even when I eat out and the food is more salty; I drink 1-2 large glasses of Water after ordering but do not drink while I eat. Drinking while you eat will push the food out of the pouch and you will not feel full. As for mexican I would recommend fajita's. Ask that they be made with limited oil/fat. You get your Protein and veggies and can control how much cheese/fat you eat.

[kittyforet 50]

Honk,

I was not drinking with my meal....I took a baby sip every now and then and drank a total of about 1/4 cup over the span of 1 hour, including before and after (took my Water in a to-go cup) and after about 1 hour after eating, I drank whatever Water was left in my cup.

I do not drink while eating, but I was told by my doctor that a tiny sip every now and then during a meal is ok, so that is what I do. I'd rather listen to him and take a teeny tiny sip to keep my mouth moist than stay completely away from a drink....

Normally I do get fajitas, but last week I ate so much grilled chicken with black Beans that I wanted a little change, so I ate a tamale and some beef taco meat. Eyeballing it, the beef was less than 1/2 cup and I did not eat all of the beef, and had no cheese on it...

Thanks.

I don't know what today say about your mother's comment. I will say maybe 2 months after surgery I went out to eat with my mother and I mentally cut the food in half. I stopped even though I was'nt full. My mother said to me "That's more than I've seen you eat in MONTHS". Well it was the truth and I'm sure she did'nt mean it to be hurtful but I was a little annoyed.

One comment I would make is why are you drinking while you are eating? Even when I eat out and the food is more salty; I drink 1-2 large glasses of water after ordering but do not drink while I eat. Drinking while you eat will push the food out of the pouch and you will not feel full. As for mexican I would recommend fajita's. Ask that they be made with limited oil/fat. You get your Protein and veggies and can control how much cheese/fat you eat.

[klariade 7]

I doubt your mom was saying anything to be hurtful. You probably surprised her by eating more than she expected you to be able to. It was probably more of a shock comment than anything. If it bothers you, I would just say something to her about it or ask her what she meant by it. I've even surprised myself when comparing what I can eat to other people. Many of the thinner people I know eat about the same as I do before they are satisfied or slightly full. Of course, there are those people who pile their plates so high it makes me want to vomit and I wonder how the heck they fit it all in...but that's another thread. Sounds like you're doing a great job!

[hopetolose 192]

:lol:I think your mom was just commenting on that you could fit that much in. There are times when I can eat more than a cup of food and my mom is surprised by that. She always wants to split something, but I want it to take home for later. There are going to be days when you will be able to eat more than you probably should. And there are days when you wont be able to get hardly anything down. Its going to vary from day to day. I wouldnt read to much into it. Just do what you need to do and try not to worry what other people are saying.

[kittyforet 50]

Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I've decided to just assume she meant her comment in a nice way. Trying to not let it get to me.

[123crod 170]

I would ask her what she meant otherwise it is just gonna be in the back of your mind. If it was meant in a mean way, take the opportunity to tell her you only want to hear encourging words or nothing at all please, and then move on.

Cheri

[Britalian 0]

Friend, if you think that comment was bad, wait until you start really losing weight and then the haters will come out of the woodwork! People will be jealous and will make subtle jabs to undermine your efforts. IGNORE THEM. Have some good, practiced responses to blow them off with. "Thanks for the encouragement." "Let's change the subject." etc. Or, if they are egging you on to eat something fattening, say, "Please respect my commitment to my health."

[kittyforet 50]

So, it turns out she was being nice with her comment...she was glad I got to eat more than a few bites....

On Labor Day, we all went out for lunch at a new BBQ place; mom usually grills but said it was too dang hot and we all agreed. So, we all ordered and mom paid (that was really nice!) and I ordered the plain sliced turkey breast, a corn on the cob, and a small side of Beans. Gave my 4-year-old the corn...well, actually she stole it from me!! LOL

I ate a few pieces of the turkey and a few bites of beans and took the rest home. Mom looked at what I had eaten and said "Are you sure you had enough to eat???" When I said yes, she then said that she was glad I got to enjoy what little I did eat.

Thanks again for all the encouragement!