Too complacent

[Alexandra 55]

Ok, so I’m on a plateau. I’ve been at this weight since just after Thanksgiving, give or take a couple of pounds of holiday indulging. Of course, I have to remember that just because the scale doesn’t show a gain is no reason to indulge in sweets :rolleyes.

Now it’s almost February and I should be ready to get going again. But I need to get jolted out of the complacent place I’m in. And the cold weather here does not help at all! It’s very hard to drink enough Water because I rarely get thirsty. And my husband and kids keep baking for fun, and of course I have to taste their creations. But these are just rationalizations for my lack of focus.

It’s not that I’m mad at myself or disappointed with the band—just the opposite. I’m too comfortable and wondering when my motivation will return. So far I’ve dropped three clothing sizes and people really do notice a difference, but I can’t really say I feel a whole lot different than I used to. So I don’t have any huge burst of energy to point to, or any big change in my self-esteem.

So now I understand how it’s possible for people to lose 30 lbs. and then stop. It would be really easy to do that! And it WOULDN’T be the band’s fault.

I’ve learned from experience that putting thoughts like this out there help me deal with them. So that’s why this is here. I’m going to get weighed today and possibly make a fill appointment for next month. Maybe by next month I’ll really be ready to get back on the ball.

Thanks for reading.

[Guest Gaynell]

Alexander,

[Guest Gaynell]

Sorry, This thing posted with out my message anyway,

I am new posting but have been reading for some time now:confused:

But I wanted to say, Alexander ,you have inspired me over the months with your journey (there are alot of us listening LOL)

When I get discouraged or complacent, I retink my goals and revisit my past weight!

I get out the old pictures and my 1 pair of FAT pants I am keeping for the day I reach goal. I have every intention of taking a picture of them with me in it for the full effect!

Keep your eye on your goals! Visit a obesity.com and look at the before and after and know that if you keep your focus you will be at the after part before you know it!

YOU ALL HAVE BEEN SO KIND TO SHARE THANK YOU!!!

This is a marathon not a sprint, It took us many Cookies and crap to gain this and will take lots of work-outs and Protein to rid the fat.

We are unlike the rest of the world, we are special, we are addicts and it will take lots of planning and follow thru to stay in control.

Oh and by the way, I love your picture you are truly beautiful. I have a special place in my heart for all of you and feel I know each of you,

Gaynell

Banded 10/16/03

267/227/150+ or until I feel just right!

[kellymoos 4]

That is sooo crazy that you posted that. I have lost 35 lbs and it seems like it has just stopped; I am scared to get another fill cause I don't want to be too tight. I am exactly where you are so I am not a good person for encouargement. I am hoping to loose another 35 lbs by June and so far it is not looking good. I am hoping that the wieght loss kicks in pretty soon for me. I have dropped from a 22 to a 16 in pants size and can get in a 14 on some pants. So that is exciting, but I really don't want to stop here. So what should we do?????

[Bright 9]

Alexandra, a huge part of the reason I was so jubilant on Tuesday, when it was three months since the surgery, was because I coincidently came off a long plateau. I seemed to be weighing myself every ten minutes and getting more despondant when the damn scales swung either side of the same weight. Like yourself, I had settled into a period of being used to the band, eating smaller amounts but more of the not so healthy stuff. Like Cookies too - we are doing the exact same thing here - weather crap, sitting watching movies, fire on, sipping mulled wine and generally hibernating! My husband made a really good point to me - he said maintaining your weight at this time of year is the same as losing 5lbs at another time! And we don't even have thanksgiving here, just the gluttonyfest that is christmas! I can't imagine what it's like having two such big holidays together. I cooked christmas dinner this year, so the house was full of goodies, and basically I was slowly and daintily (because of my band!) working my way through them - I ended up getting a refuse sack and binning practically a whole christmas cake, mince pies, Snacks, chips, chocolates etc - it was a horrible waste but at least I didn't eat them! So, first of all, get rid of any left over holiday food. I know your husband is a chef, so ask him to quit making cookies, and let the kids make popcorn instead - nearly as much fun anyway! Your husband can stretch his creativeness by making Soups and getting the kids to chop up veg maybe? When you can't rely on your willpower, you will have to rely on it being difficult to actually get your hands on less than ideal food. That way, if you really really want cookies, you'll have to get in the car and drive to get them - you may still decide to do that sometimes, and that's ok, it's just the absentminded nibbling that's destructive!

As your children are small, I bet you just aren't focusing on yourself very much - try to clear out a cupboard just for you, and keep all your stuff in it - like shakes, or low fat products. When I'm peckish I go to my cupboard and like that I have my own special stuff to choose from. And you know when people tell you to buy bubble bath and relax in the tub? I know that's not always possible with small kids - so I used to fill the tub with bubbles, but put the KIDS in there! I read a magazine and had a low cal hot chocolate sitting in a beanbag just outside the bathroom door, where I could keep an eye on them!

Ultimately, I think, when plateauing, you have to trust the band - it won't allow you to overeat or binge, u may make bad food choices but when you do perk up again, it will be there inside you, ready to help. You may get your inspiration from a photo in a magazine, or meeting an old school friend, but you will become motivated again, and you can take up the reins. I worked really hard during christmas not to put on weight, missing out on my favourite things and being a bit of a martyr, and in the end I didn't lose any weight anyway! Then I spent the new year eating all the stuff I missed out on! I went to the funeral of an old friend's mother two weeks ago, and loads of people remarked on my weight loss, this spurred me onto another "health kick" and I lost a few more pounds. I will lose more. I will plateau again. I may gain some pounds. But I'll get there and you will too.

Sorry that this so long!

wishing you lots of luck at this time, keep in touch and let us know how you are......:kiss

[donali 57]

Hi Alexandra -

This post is mostly directed "in general" - not specifically towards you. But perhaps you'll find something useful in my musings.

I think the plateaus are the hardest thing. Maybe we can think of them as what it will be like when we reach our goal weight? Hopefully at some point we will no longer be looking to see that our weight is going down, but just staying the same, day after day, year after year, for the rest of our lives.

A plateau is not the time to automatically run for a fill. A plateau is a time to reflect, to regroup and to regather. The body needs it (apparently, since they seem to happen to just about everyone), and the MIND needs it. Really.

However, if we are not at goal, there comes a time when the plateau no longer seems to serve a purpose in our minds. At this point, it is time to evaluate.

1. Start tracking on www.fitday.com everything you consume everyday. Be HONEST! Yes, 3 cups of fat free/sugar free ice cream counts, and MUST be logged (lol - that's to me for last night :sick )

2. Update your stats - your current weight and activity level. Then go to the "activities" section and check out the number of calories you're supposed to be burning at your basal metabolism. Aim to consume that number of calories (and up to 200 additional) everyday.

3. Recently there has been a lot of discussion (my euphamism for "arguments" lol) on other boards about the amount of Protein required each day. Unless you're really short and tiny, it seems the bare minimum should be 60 grams.

4. Make sure you are drinking .5 oz of Water for every pound of body weight.

5. Seriously try to take a 60 minute walk at least every other day. Every day if at all possible. This does not have to be a kill yourself speed. Just walk (winter is a great excuse to walk the mall - just as hot summers are a great excuse to walk the mall - lol). If you are already exercising like the dickens, change your routine. shake it up - do something different.

6. Of the foods you are recording in fitday, be sure that you are eating SOLIDS.

7. Are you eating when you're hungry, stopping when you're full?

8. Are you eating regularly?

Do this for TWO weeks. Are you still plateaued? Are you meeting your caloric/water/exercise requirements? Are you hungry/overly full?

If you are unable to meet your basal calorie requirements with solid food, your fill may already be too tight.

If you are PBing, you are either too tight, not chewing well enough, are eating too fast, or eating foods that don't work for your band (usually bread, rice, pasta). Fix the chewing/speed/type of food. If you are still PBing you are TOO tight.

If you are exceeding your basal calorie requirements with solid food by more than 200 calories, it's time for a fill.

Chances are, as soon as you start tracking on fitday and make a commitment to walking, your plateau will "magically" be busted..

For enquiring minds, my own stats:

2/10-3/13 - stuck at 281 (31 days)

3/31-4/14 - stuck at 278 (14 days)

4/15-5/6 - stuck at 267 (21 days)

5/12-6/30 - stuck at 262 (49 days)

7-14-8/4 - stuck at 257 (21 days)

9/2-10/13 stuck at 247 (41 days)

12/1-12/29 - stuck at 233 (28 days)

Fills dates and resulting fill level:

3/8/03 1.1cc

6/6/03 1.3cc

7/12/03 2.0cc

10/4/03 2.6cc

My weight may have fluctuated up/down a couple pounds throughout the time of the plateau, but on the Monday when I weighed "officially" each week, it was the same as the week before.

So throughout the year I've been banded, with 205 days of plateau, I have lost 81 pounds (yesterday I was 222).

Final words of advice - don't panic, evaluate yourself honestly for two weeks as outlined above, and I bet either your plateau breaks itself, or you find you need a fill/unfill.

Good luck everyone!

[Alexandra 55]

Thank you for the comments, people! I really appreciate your taking the time to read and respond.

Gaynell (would you believe I know another bandster by that name?), thanks for the comforting words. Looking at my fat pictures is a great idea!

Bright, you are so full of terrific tips and I love them! You too, Donali. When I get my reason-for-losing back I will know exactly what to do!!

Because that's what seems to be gone at the moment--my reason for losing. And now that I think about it, I'll bet that's because of the weather. We're doing a lot of cocooning and cuddling by the fireplace, so a few extra pounds don't matter.

My husband made a really good point to me - he said maintaining your weight at this time of year is the same as losing 5lbs at another time!

What a terrific thought! I will cling to that with both hands.

Kellymoos, that is so amazing you're into 16s and 14s!! Congratulations! This morning I put on a pair of 22 slacks and a 2X sweater. That's down from 28-30 and 4X, so I'm pretty happy about that indeed. Happy enough to stay here? That's the question. I don't want to be, but I'm not mad at myself either for not losing more. A little self-criticism can be a good thing!

I went and got weighed this afternoon and they agreed I could use a fill. So on February 19 I will be going for my second fill. In the meantime I'm going to try to remember what MY job in all of this is, and recapture my inspiration for taking this road.

[Guest Gaynell]

would this be Gaynel in NJ?, yes she is on my buddy list although she has been MIA. If you talk to her tell her I miss our electronic chats!

Gaynell:D

[bbrecruiter2000 1]

Alexandra,

Its good to hear from you again. I understand the complacency issue you are giong through. Unlike yourself and despite all the pounds I have dropped, I have not changed as dramatically as you in the clothing sizes. I started at a size 28 and I am now in a 22 pants and 18-20 top. So I honestly did not see any real big changes in my size until I lost more than 60 lbs. I could see I was compacting because I go to the gym 3x a week, but it took a while for me to really notice the changes.

My biggest challenge is the food I buy my kids. I have a 2 and 8 year old and they want to eat chips and ice cream and fruit Snacks. Then there are the birthdays!!! Cake, Cookies and assorted other junk food. I was eating off my son's birthday cake for three days and those carbs made me want more carbs. Then I started nibbling on a corn chip here and there thinking, Mmmmm, I have done so well so far and one chip won't kill me.... Well, I have noticed the change in the last week or so. The weight isn't dropping off anymore. So on Monday, I made a commitment to get another fill and cut out the junk. So for the majority of this week, I am back on the wagon again.

Regarding motivation and why I am doing this: I think of my kids and at 251 pounds, I am still a walking heart attack waiting to happen. This usually scares me back on track. With a BMI of 40, (started at 53.9), I am healthier, but I am still afraid. I know that I will never be a fashion model, but I think monthly goal setting is important to keep us on track. My monthly goal is an 8 pound loss, and if I should go below that, I need to reevaluate what I am doing.

Decide what number loss per month for you is acceptable and what you are prepared to do to make it happen. I know this is not a race, but without the goal setting it leaves too much room for me to cheat and fail.

If motivation is a problem, get out a piece of paper and write down all the reasons you decided to have a Lapband. You are one of the bravest and tenacious people I know. You fought a whole year to have this band and most would have given up a lot sooner.

Babs in TX

334/251/180

-83 and counting

6/23/03

[Alexandra 55]

Babs, thank you. Your words really help, and serve as a reminder that if I do nothing else cutting down on the carbs will get me a long way toward controlling cravings. It's so easy to give in to the cravings when there's no *gain* from indulging. It's the dark side of the band.

Now I'm worried about another thing, the sagging skin and looking my age. Being fat has always given me this very youthful appearance, and I'm not-so-unconsciously worried about losing it. I know exercise, Water, and taking better care of myself will help in this regard, but all of that is what I'm finding it so hard to do right now.

Maybe I'm actually a little scared to be thinner, since it may not be all I've imagined for so many years. :confused:

[donali 57]

Maybe I'm actually a little scared to be thinner, since it may not be all I've imagined for so many years.

This is a very real fear, and one that most people cannot acknowledge. The fact that you can recognize it gives you power.

It is very true that being slender may very well not be "all it's cracked up to be" in your mind. Losing weight will not solve ANY of your problems, except for being fat. And being fat is invariably just a "symptom" of other problems, not THE problem in and of itself. Some of the underlying problems are emotional, and some (I truly believe) are physical. I honestly believe that most of us have a disconnect in either our "full feeling" or our "hunger drive". That coupled with using food to soothe ourselves got us to obesity.

Many times becoming slender after a lifetime of being fat actually CAUSES problems. It changes the balance in our relationships - people look at us differently. Some people are threatened by these changes, and may try to sabotage us. Even we can feel threatened by these changes, and try to sabotage ourselves.

There is counseling available specifically for these issues, particularly between couples.

Here is an interesting article on intimate saboteurs: http://aboutmso.com/ep/lp-lifestylechanges-saboteurs.cfm

A good questionnaire to help you discover "secret" saboteurs:

http://www.wellnessnet.com/sabotarticle.htm

And finally, Why We Sabotage Ourselves!

http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?article_id=8202&pg=2

There are many, many more resources out there on the infinite web. When you are ready, Alexandra, you will move forward. There is nothing wrong with you taking the time you need to adjust to this life-changing event. I like that you are not beating yourself up, but are taking the time to evaluate what exactly you are thinking and feeling about your journey. You are in the process of healing much more than your weight, and all of this takes time, energy, growing, and thoughtful reflection.

Thank you for sharing this part of your journey!

[marsha 0]

Donali,

Just curious...what do you do for a living? I hope you are involoved in mental health somehow because you sure know what to say just at the right time!

I truly love reading your posts!:confused:

Marsha

[donali 57]

Thanks, Marsha -

But luckily for everyone I just work with computers. :confused:

[knitchique 0]

I want to thank all of you for writing on this post! I have been feeling the same as Alexandra, stuck at 25-27 pounds lost, and nothing, for about 5 weeks. I was banded on 10-06-03, and have yet to have a fill. It has been cancelled once and the wait time is kindof long. But...I am scheduled for my first fill on Feb 2nd.

I know deep down that the band is there, ready when I am to work, but the first 20 pounds lost were realatively easy, and I was forgiving myself for any "bad" indulgences over the holidays...hey, at least I didn't gain! But then there are the other times, when I feel as if I'll gain it all back. Then I look at my food intake, and some days I don't eat hardly at all...could it be that my body thinks it's starving and is holding onto the weight??

I just had some lab work done, cuz I thought I was low on Iron, or not getting enough Protein, but all the levels came back good.

Yet, my fatigue level is off the charts, and that doesn't help one to exercize...especially when I have to get up at 5am...

Well, I don't mean to take away the focus of Alexandra's post, thanks for letting me rant!!

Sheryl

10-06-03 Dr. Wetherille

-25 to -27lbs.

[Alexandra 55]

Thanks for your thoughts, Donali. There is some truth in there, I'm sure of it. I'm not like so many people who remember being slim and want to recapture it. At my current size I'm only two sizes larger (and 50 lbs heavier) than my smallest adult size ever, which I maintained for about three weeks back in 1990. Outside of that brief interlude as long as I can remember I've been at LEAST a 22-24, which is right where I am now.

So I think subconsciously I feel like I've met a goal, and circumstances are conspiring to make it easy to stay here. When this weather breaks I know I'll feel a lift in my spirits accompanied by a surge of energy. For now I'm really enjoying my size 2X sweaters and stealing my husband's long-sleeve t-shirts to wear under my fleece.