Why am I still defeding myself?

[spoiltmom 44]

Okay when I first got my Lap Band done I had a lot of people judging me for different reasons. There were a lot of people that told me I wasn't overweight enough and I was taking the easy way out. Well my insurance company did not agree. I had sleep Apnea and High Blood pressure. My insurance company decided it was medically necessary and the covered it. Now I haven't told everyone I had it done but I live in a small town and people talk so I assume every one knows.

Today though it's been a year since I was banded so I posted my before and after pics on my FB page and officially outed myself. But now when I go back and read the comments, in every one I post I'm defending myself and no one has even said anything wrong I guess I just know people are judging me so I automatically put something in there about how bad my health was or something like that. But why am I still doing that? I've had a great success and it's really time for me to stop caring so much about what other people say or think of me. Now I feel going back and deleting my comments but some people have already read them.

It's time for me to say I did this for me and I'm glad I did it and I don't care if you like that or not, and oh yeah this band is not EASY! LOL That's what I should post as my status right?

[Chela 5]

I would sleep on it before posting on Fb any further.

[cat lady 10]

Okay when I first got my Lap Band done I had a lot of people judging me for different reasons. There were a lot of people that told me I wasn't overweight enough and I was taking the easy way out. Well my insurance company did not agree. I had sleep Apnea and High Blood pressure. My insurance company decided it was medically necessary and the covered it. Now I haven't told everyone I had it done but I live in a small town and people talk so I assume every one knows.

Today though it's been a year since I was banded so I posted my before and after pics on my FB page and officially outed myself. But now when I go back and read the comments, in every one I post I'm defending myself and no one has even said anything wrong I guess I just know people are judging me so I automatically put something in there about how bad my health was or something like that. But why am I still doing that? I've had a great success and it's really time for me to stop caring so much about what other people say or think of me. Now I feel going back and deleting my comments but some people have already read them.

It's time for me to say I did this for me and I'm glad I did it and I don't care if you like that or not, and oh yeah this band is not EASY! LOL That's what I should post as my status right?

73 lb loss is a great success no matter how you achieved it. Having this surgery is not an easy thing to do. It is a difficult decision to make. You did the right thing for you and don't ever let anyone second guess your choice. It was the right thing for you and you don't need to explain why you chose this for yourself. You have accomplished what you set out to do and had a terrific result. I say keep them guessing and don't put any more on FB. CAT

[Mimilou2004 13]

I understand where you are coming from. Instead of just saying thank you when ppl compliment me I feel the need to tell about my band.....then I think of all the hard work I have done and am still doing and I want to kick myself. Yes, the band helped, but the work is done by US!!!!!

Congratulations on your success and best wishes on the next phase...maintenance!!!

Mimi

[Cindy C 150]

There's nothing to defend. You realized you needed to do something and you did it. If anyone has an issue with the way you did it, well that's their issue not yours. They're probably just jealous! You did a great job and look wonderful. Enjoy your success. You deserve it.

[mauraclegg 29]

When I was banded last year people said things like,"well your not THAT FAT," and the like, my insurance company and I both disagreed with that assessment. I have lost about 85 lbs since I was banded and people tell me I look great, but when they do I still feel the need to point out my problem areas (hanging belly & bat wing arms). I think it helps me justify something.

By the same token I am so proud of what I have done. It wasn't super hard either. I think by pointing out the work I still have left it helps me justify how easy the first 80 lbs came off

You have done wonderfully- Celebrate your new YOU

[sandy1 1]

People sometimes are just not very nice! The people that know I had the surgery for the most part DO NOT even compliment me on my wieght loss The people that don't know I had lap band when they see me they really tell me how great I look. It seems like those that know must think I took the easy road or that I just cheated and don't deserve a compliment!

I live in a big city now but grew up in a small town and remember how judgemental small town folks can be.

Hold your head up high and know what a great job you hve done losing weight and bettering your health!

Let those small town folks talk and know they will move on to their next victim soon!!

[buggie 4]

I'm so glad I found this post! I have yet to have surgery but other than my husband I have confided in NOBODY. I am contemplating even telling my close friend mainly because I already "think" I know what she will think. I will eventually tell my family...close family...but other than them and possibly this friend I am leaning towards not giving away my secret. Maybe it is a fear of judgment but I think it also has to do with my not sharing all aspects of my life....expecially with coworkers. You all have given me something to think about....and have added more fuel to my whole keeping-it-a-secret idea. Who did you all choose to tell about your surgery PRIOR to having it and then once others started noticing your weight loss did you fill in those people?

Thanks,

Buggy

[Melissannde 41]

I live in a small town. I'd say most people know I had surgery, some don't know what kind.. but most know.

I've NEVER received one unkind comment or heard anyone say anything negative. I have overheard some people talking about me, but it was something like "she has done so well". Everyone is very supportive of me and my efforts.

I have yet to do a before/after on Facebook. And I'm still thinking about it, but not sure I will. Mainly because I have fb friends who I haven't seen in person in 30 years and they have no idea of the struggles I've gone through with my weight. I'm not sure I'm emotionally strong enough to deal with comments.

I do share with private groups.

I understand wanting to keep it quiet though. I don't advertise that I had WLS on facebook, and used to not talk about weight issues at all.. but I'm gradually coming out of my shell in that regard. It's a process.

Here's me, showing how things have changed in 2 yrs 5 months.

[Cindy C 150]

Good job, Melissa!

[Cindy C 150]

I'm so glad I found this post! I have yet to have surgery but other than my husband I have confided in NOBODY. I am contemplating even telling my close friend mainly because I already "think" I know what she will think. I will eventually tell my family...close family...but other than them and possibly this friend I am leaning towards not giving away my secret. Maybe it is a fear of judgment but I think it also has to do with my not sharing all aspects of my life....expecially with coworkers. You all have given me something to think about....and have added more fuel to my whole keeping-it-a-secret idea. Who did you all choose to tell about your surgery PRIOR to having it and then once others started noticing your weight loss did you fill in those people?

Thanks,

Buggy

People are eventually going to know. If you don't tell those that are closest to you it could cost you relationships. I had a friend who had it done several years ago (before I did). Not only did she not tell anyone, she lied to us when asked. We would have all been very supportive of her. In fact, one time I asked her if she would do it with me so we could support each other. She said "Oh, I would NEVER do anything like that!" Then she went and did it. We found out when another friend went to a seminar and, lo and behold, who was there speaking as a former patient? Unfortunately, it cost her alot of friends.

[readytolosemomof5 0]

It is hard to get out of tht "gotta defend my choices/actions/etc" role. As an overweight person, you know that everywhere you go, with everything you do, someone is judging you. You go eat at a restaurant, and some person in that area is judging, or laughing, or whatever. You are always wondering, what will so and so think if I eat this dessert, or if I eat the whole plate. It's embarrassing to go shopping for plus-size clothing, cause you know that some skinny girl, or cute guy is going to walk by, and you wonder what they think, you hide your face, hoping that the person that us walking by isn't someone you know.

Losing weight, no matter what method used to do it isn't just a lifestyle change. It is also a mindstyle change. You have to lose any self-esteem issues, and remember that yes, you did this, and you look good, feel good, and who cares what anybody else thinks!

Oh and BTW, those people that aren't complementing on the weight loss, they are just jealous. Cause you did it, and they haven't.