Humpty-Dumpty Had a Great Fall

Veritas · January 31, 2006

I finally have a surgery date for February 27th and am now on the pre-op diet. Which for my doctor means 3 Protein Shakes a day and unlimited fruits and veggies. My nutritionist said to try and follow that 75% of the time and the other 25% to focus on lean Proteins and whole grains. Stay away from the sugar, refined foods, etc. I need to lose a minimum of 16 pounds and ideally closer to 24 pounds before surgery.

I guess I was just very naive as to how hard this pre-diet would be. I do not have a scale at home that goes high enough to weigh me. So I have no idea how I am doing. It's been about a week and a half now of this eating plan and I am doing just ok. Not great.

In the midst of all this change and anticipation, my marriage is on the verge of collapse. We've been having problems for awhile and it just doesn't seem to be getting better. We had a major confrontation on Sunday night and although we've decided to give it one last try, I am still feeling very uncertain and sad about it. And I've had to come to the hard conclusion (although it's certainly no surprise) that food has been the one constant source of comfort for me. And I need to give it up. And I am just having such a hard time with it.

I am usually a much happier person, but this week circumstances seem to be getting the better of me and I am so frustrated becuase I feel like this is "crunch time" and I can't afford to back down! I have to lose weight or I will not be able to have the surgery. But despite all that I find myself very discouraged and depressed and lacking motivation.

:think :think :think :think :think :think :think

PhotoNut · January 31, 2006

Aww.. bless your heart. I too went thru the same pre-op diet you are on and surprised myself that I actually did lose 16 pounds in two weeks. They know what they're doing, so eat what youre supposed to and trust that it will work out fine.

I know from experience that the killer of all my attempts to lose weight has been stress from unexpected events or traumas, or just plain being upset. Sounds like youre going thru that very thing. So much is going to change in your life as you get healthy. Your view of yourself and the world around you wont be the same. Perhaps you and your husband could agree to stay together while you go through this and get some weight off of you before you two make any decisions. You will need support and encouragement, and though he might not be able to give that to you at first (due to hurt feelings, defensiveness and anger, etc) you can always come here for that as well as other family members.

Ending a marriage is usually something we regret for years to come. Looking back on two of my failed marriages, I see that I walked away from one tough situation only to have to start all over with someone else, leaving behind all of the invested emotions, efforts, time and love. Unless there is abuse, or other extenuating harmful circumstances, it really does pay off to work together through the tough times and come out stronger and together on the other side.

Be encouraged by all of us who have been in your shoes (with the lapband steps) and know that you can do this too.. For Yourself. No matter how the rest of your situation turns out, it will be nothing but good for you to proceed along your journey of regaining health and self-confidence.

Best of luck to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

the best me · January 31, 2006

Well, now, just what Susan said. Well written advice, Photonut! I agree! Especially the part about asking your husband to hold on for a while until you get through it. Your marriage is worth trying to save, if you two can hang on for a while longer and get this surgery stuff behind you. Please don't make any big decisions in the middle of all this! (((hugs))) You can do this!!!!

TommyO · January 31, 2006

The time leading up to your banding can be very stressfull, you probably have some internall conflicts that you are dealing with and because of the marital problems you are faced with, things are compounded. For me personally, I was required to lose 20 lbs before my Doc would set a date. What would have seemed to be th easiest weight to lose in my life actually was the hardest. I think the reason was that I was actually, deep down inside, afraid to get banded just incase I failed. Once I started reading this forum I began to lose my fears and the weight came off. The good folks who post hear made me realize that my biggest failure would be if I did not follow through on my plans.

These fears did however make me irratable at times and my DW had to put up with my changing emotional state. A long time ago I was told by a wise person that only person you can truly affect is youself. So go to your DH and tell him you are going to work on yourself and try and improve your relationship and ask him what He thinks you can do to get this done (You will likely be surprised by his response) Then tell him you need to get through this incredibly important time of your with him, side by side as freinds and as mutual supporters.

Once done, feel positive you have made the right decision and know that you will succeed.

Good Luck

Veritas · February 1, 2006

Thanks to all of you for your support. I am feeling a bit better now after having read your responses as well as other threads on this site. I am so glad I found this community! I just need to remember to log in here when I am feeling tempted by the potato chips. :biggrin1:

Thankyou PhotoNut especially for your words about marriage. I love my husband dearly and I value our relationship as well. I appreciate your support!

PhotoNut · February 1, 2006

Youre very welcome and .. wow! Youre in Boise too! Dr. Cahn is my doc. Dont you just LOVE him?

The name Veritas caught my eye right away. Any connectoin to the company there? *grins*

Veritas · February 1, 2006

Hi Susan -

I'm so happy to see someone else from Boise as well. I do love Dr. Cahn, he has been most understanding and easy to work with. I'm so looking forward to getting this surgery done!

I picked the name Veritas after a friend of mine just recently bought a used bookstored and changed the name to Veritas Fine books. I found out the word is Latin for truth and I just thought it was an appropriate word for what this journey is all about for me. I think I'm finally ready to be honest and truthful with myself about my weight problems. I'm looking forward to victory!