Worried: should I be feeling more excited

[BibbyK 0]

I find that I share your feelings. I have failed so many times before that this may just be #28 in that long list. The reality is still that I cannot give up now and I owe it to myself to give this a shot. The difference this time is that my previous excuses even sound ridiculous. This time it is all on me.

I am over 100 pounds overweight and my joints and bones are starting to notice it with hip and back pains. Like many on here, I have tried every diet from supervised fasting, Atkins, working with a nutritionist, Weight Watchers and probably some that I have forgotten about. In the last 6 months or so, I have started to have real and very limiting pain in my back and hip which I am being treated for but I know that this is at least partly, if not all, caused by my weight.

I've researched banding and other bariatric procedures a number of times over the years and now am feeling resigned to get banded. I need to get back my active life where I can more easily travel and do things. I am not there now and I know that my weight is a big stumbling block to getting there.

I read the posts on here and see how excited everyone is to start this new adventure. I wish I felt more that way. I do sometimes, but other times, I feel a bit sad.. I have my consultation in a couple of weeks and I know that I will be able to have the procedure within a month or two at a top hospital with a very known and respected surgeon. I am fearful right now that my lack of "jumping up and down" about it is a bad sign and this is something that I don't want to fail at.

I am wondering if buried in all of the excitement about this, if there are those out there who have also felt sadness about being here (overweight, not the forum :-)...or fearing this is one more "program" that they might fail at.

I am generally a very "can do" kinda person and one of the few things in my life I have really failed at is my weight. Just looking to hear whether other people have had any of these feelings, too. Thank you.

[YngGram 73]

Thank you so much for sharing that. Reading your post actually brought tears to my eyes. I guess I feel ashamed for not being able to do it on my own-- and that there is nothing left for me to do to get my weight under control and get my life back. It is great to hear that you both have been successful on this journey. Thank you both for posting.

Jan, I have had my band over 2 years, I put a lot of thought into it and made a decision. I am very happy I did, When I made up my mind I started makng changes. I dropped sweet tea and soda, started using smaller plates and trying hard to not refill, I went from 240 in Nov, at the seminar to 233 1st of Jan. and at 221 on day of surgery(3/9), that was from the 2 week liver shrink diet. 6lbs. came off the first 6 days. First fill on the 23rd, some was in from surgery, don't know what went in, but I have never felt restriction. 4/13 a fill and I was 207, 5/3 202, 5/18 200 June was fun 199 on 6/18. 7/23 186. 10/16 178 and got adjustment. I hung right there until summer. As the weather in Jun and & Jul got hotter I had trouble keeping food down. I kept trying to eat and caused myself problems. I had to get an unfill because I had iterated my throat and pouch. I should had done liquids for a few days to let things heal. Then I was extra dumb and didn't go back for a refill until Oct, I had gained 20lbs, Yesterday I got a .3cc fill and I am right back where I was last year this time. Liquids today and I will try some soft tomorrow, hope I can eat without problems, I have always been able to eat anything I wanted, I just have to eat the right foods. Hunger has never been a problem. I want to get off another 10 or 15 lbs. and I'll be good.with that, I had back and foot pain, didn't sleep well and really didn't like me much before my band. Now I am much more comfortable around others and I smile much more,. I don't run from the camera either Good luck