February 2006 bandsters unite!!

[Dancer 0]

Thanks Janet! I need a pick me up today! So glad you are back and posting!!!!

[skbishop78 0]

Hey everyone...

Ok..I havent been doing well on the whole eating thing. I have been making bad choices...but It has to change. I still have lost weight...but I know that it can't last the way I have been doing it!

About the hair loss....I lost a bunch of hair like 6 or 7 years ago when I lost 60 pounds really quickly, my hair got really thin ...but it grew back within like 5 or 6 months it thickened back up and grew out stronger and healthier...it was a pain though for a while. I haven't experienced it yet, but I probably will soon.

Does anyone else tan with their band? I have been tanning for about 2 weeks and it is getting really dark around my port site. Just wondering if that is normal...or just plain wierd, or both?

Happy monday to everyone!

[Happy2 0]

hair loss: I was banded Feb. 28, but haven't noticed much Hair loss yet. I'm taking Biotin 2500 mg. daily plus a Multi-Vitamin. I understand the hair loss levels off at about 8 months. I don't have one strand of hair to spare so I'm hoping for a quick return to full head of hair.

Pat

[Jerseytammy 0]

I want to thank everyone for all the support and prayers during my family’s health crisis. My aunt is at home and doing well but unfortunately it looks as if my uncle will have to go to nursing home if he makes it.

Ok let me see if I can do some catching up myself here…..

Nanster- WOW girly great NSVs. Good going on the no chocolate and no coke victory! About my port, I really can’t even feel mine unless I push down about an inch or so, I reckon that tells ya where I carry most of my weight huh? Oh do you remember when you and I were talking about not having enough restriction and I said be careful what you asked for you just might get it….lol. Congrats on a great fill, I am glad the scales are moving down for you. Let us know how the next couple of days go for you.

Michelle- my hair is still falling out at an alarming rate. I have a Multi-Vitamin with the Biotin (sp) but I think I will take some extra. I am sorry to hear about your pbing this weekend. I had that wonderful experience once since being banded and if I ever have it again it will be too soon. My band seems to be working some days and wide open others. Hang in there girl, you’ll get through this bump in the road. Think smoothies!!!!!! I am looking forward to a long weekend too, sigh I need it!!

Stacey- I have so many factor working against me with the Hair loss, ughhh I don’t want to be bald or thin!!!! When you say your hair got really thin, just how thin did it get? As far as tanning goes, welllllllll I love the way I looked when I was tan about 80 lbs ago but now I am scared to lay in the bed because I am scared they will break. When I was a little over 200 I would go tan and I would hear the beds cracking and popping, and now that I am 267 I wouldn’t dare as much as I would like too. But I do have a friend that tans and she has a scare on her leg from an accident and she puts a amount of sun block over her scar cause she said it turns very dark if she doesn’t

Tamyrn- I was banded on Feb 8 and had my first pb last Monday and it was nothing short of awful. Now that I think about it I have had no restriction since then either really. I am scheduled for my 3rd fill this Friday so I will be sure to let you know if my band is still in place, but I thought if it slips the opposite happens. I thought if the band slips you can’t keep anything down and even Water becomes a problem, oh lord but what do I know. Good luck hun, keep us posted.

Janet- You were missed while away, I hope that you are feeling better. We are all glad to see you back. And OH what a beautiful new picture, all you ladies are beautiful.

Quote “ Tammy & Michelle, on the hair loss: Our nutritionist told us this week that the hair loss from the anesthesia (sp) starts at about 3 months out”

OMG why is this the first time I am hearing this??? No one at my doctors office every said a word to me about this. I guess that what I get for not wanting to read all the possible side effects. I read them and it scares me to death!

Thanks for the great info on the first bite blues, I have noticed that eating in the mornings is not something I want to do. I am always running late and in a hurry, I know I am not suppose to skip meals but I would rather eat later than to pb early!!

How you have managed to catch up on all of us, how are you and Mikey doing? You’re always such great support and comfort; allow us to return the favor. How is Janet doing?

[Jerseytammy 0]

Ok here goes for me……. I don’t know if I have ever shared this in open forum but here goes.

I was diagnosed several years ago with panic disorder, but only after years and years of being misdiagnosed. They think it stems from seeing my dad have a massive stroke at the age of 12 and seeing my grandmother have a massive heart attack at the age of 14. Both of these things ended their lives. Now please don’t feel sorry for me, this is the hand I was dealt.

So I have a huge phobia about throwing up because it was the last thing I was my grandmother do. Now some might think I am crazy for being banded because of this, but I am praying this works in my favor. Take my weakness and use it as strength to keep from pbing or worse.

Ok I wont bore ya’ll with all the details of what I have been through dealing with this. But Friday morning one of our salesmen here at work had a heart attack at age 50. Ok he is a tad bit over weight but doesn’t smoke and is active. I know there might be other factors he had working against him but let me tell ya I have been thrown for a loop. I left work early, made an excuse to get out of here. I cant even watch medical shows on TV. I am 40 years old and think about dying every day of the week.

So I guess what I am looking for here is this……..We all have read all the articles about how being morbidly obese leads to stroke and heart disease so why I am not the most fit person you know? Now I have seen doctors and councilors for years but I want to hear from people like me that have eating disorders. We all know what to eat, how much to eat and to exercise daily; so what makes someone so scared of death not do these things? Do I secretly wish for an early ending? I honestly don’t know, there are days when I want to give up and actually pray to go ahead and have the heart attack that I am so scared of.

Am I the only one that thinks this way? Am I crazy?

[Julie* 0]

Hi Everyone~

I finally had my first fill today. He put .5cc in the band. I was happy that it didn't hurt at all- just felt weird. Thankfully, he has changed his mind about 2 more weeks of liquids and told me to do liquids for 2 days, mushies for 2 days, soft foods for 2 days and then go from there. I forgot how HARD liquids are though and tonight has been rough.

Tammy: No, I don't think you are secretly hoping for an early ending. I think that our bodies are wired for instant feedback. Overeating before the band = good feelings at first and then the yucky feelings come later. Without the instant negative feedback it's hard to change our behavior.

Now with the band overeating = slime, feeling awful, or PBing so the instant feedback is to stop. I hope that makes sense and I'm sorry that your co-workers heart attack was so rough for you. I always think it's good though to talk about this stuff- it's the best way to make changes.

I'm very proud of our group!

Julie

[Mikey 0]

I don't think that your thoughts are crazy, Tammy.

Ok - to be fair, I don't actually know you that well yet... as far as I know, you could be someone who skips down the sidewalk wearing nothing but a lavender fur coat yelling at the top of your lungs about how we're under attack by giant fuzzy yellow hubcaps from the planet Gorf, and we can only be saved if every single person in the whole world would simultaneously chant the word "filibuster" for 60 seconds.

But I can say that what you posted definitely does not mean that you are psychotic or schizophrenic.

You do bring up some interesting points. First, you are right - we all know what to eat, how much to eat, etc. But from a sociological standpoint, our current western culture has brought us to the point where eating has very little to do with our need for health or nutrition. As a society, food has become something completely separate from our physical beings. food doesn't mean nutrients, Vitamins, or Fiber. Food means comfort, a reason for people to get together, and something to do with our hands while we watch TV or surf the internet.

Just because we KNOW all of the right information doesn't mean we do anything with it. For most of us, food is something we simply don't think about on a conscious level. We're not thinking about how this Twinkie is bringing us one step closer to a coma - we're thinking about how this Twinkie is bringing us one step closer to having eaten a TWINKIEEEEE!!!!! The band is just the latest in our arsenal of weapons against food - another has to be some reprogramming. We need to learn to THINK more about food. The paradox is that we need to think more about it so that we can think less about it... the sooner our thinking can lead to new habits, the sooner we can get back to being unconscious about it - confident that we have made healthy choices.

Secondly, we're not perfect. Yes, we all know what to eat, how much to eat, etc. But we also know that we shouldn't run that stop sign when no one's looking, or tell our boss that little fib to explain why we're late to work AGAIN, or putting that little something on our credit card when we know we don't really need it... We're not perfect - and that is absolutely no reason to beat ourselves up.

There's an old expression: hate the sin, but love the sinner. You've made the choice to do something about weight. You've made the choice to share your concerns with folks who care. You've faced the fact that you are troubled. It may not seem like much, but you ARE doing something about it.

Hang in there - you're most definitely not alone...

[JanetC 2]

Awww Stacey, you sound like me! I spent the last weekend making every poor choice I could. I even owned up to Mikey that I was making bad choices & that I didn't care. What??? When did I stop caring? **sigh**

I tried tanning lotion, but not successfully, I'm afraid, lol. Talk about orange streaks! I want to go to a tanning shop, but the money isn't there right now, so I think I'll just head outside & tan the old fashioned way. Thanks for the warning, though, I'll be sure to put sunscreen on my port scar!

Wow Pat, 2500 mg of Biotin? Ok, so now I'm thinking I'm not getting enough! Thanks for the numbers!

Tammy, LOL with you about the tanning bed creaking! I started only doing the stand-up beds for that very reason. Well, the creaking & the fact that I hung out on both sides, lol. Made for some weird tan lines! Even the stand-up ones I had to squeeze into & pray that my fat actually touching the light bulbs on the sides wouldn't hurt anything, lol. The things I do to be tan!

Oh my goodness, Tammy! I SOOO hear you on the fear thing! I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but mostly because I'm too afraid to go to a doctor! I personally feel that the fear keeps me from changing things to avoid my fears, if that makes any sense. I get so afraid of so many things that I find myself just frozen, sitting & rocking in a corner, sucking my thumb, more or less.

I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through, from day 1! No one should have to witness so much loss! How is the salesman from work doing? Did he pull through the attack? I hope so!

I've been known to secretly & not-so-secretly wish for an early ending. I do believe I was eating myself into an early grave. It didn't start out that way, originally I was just medicating the pain with carbs. That lovely comatose carb-stuffed feeling that now scares me & sickens me a bit (but I secretly still miss). But eventually the stuffing had to get bigger because the feeling wasn't lasting as long & life was impinging on me & scaring me again. Wow, I really am an addict!

I do NOT think you're crazy! I think that our bodies are incredible. Yours had unbelievable stressors put on it & you managed to find ways to deal with that stress while still living a successful life, being married & having kids. Wow! Isn't that amazing!

Having the band is really bringing issues to the surface for me. I'm angry about a lot of it. But I think it's good that I'm finally dealing with stuff. I'm praying that you can find answers to the questions you're asking yourself this week! Know that we're here for you & that we love you & that you are a survivor! You WILL triumph!

** Religion alert!! If easily offended by gushing, please skip this paragraph! :thumbs_up: (I know Tammy shares my views, so I can say all this. ) **

And when you doubt, take it all away... everything you've done & are. Bottom line. Beneath everything: your job, your friends, your family, your husband. Beneath it all. God made YOU!! He loves you as his creation. Nothing else you do or don't do matters. He loves you!! You are worth everything in his eyes! As Mikey says, "Something is worth what is paid for it." He paid for you with his son's life. Wow. Really think about that! Feel his arms around you, picking you up & hugging you like you hug your children. Know that no matter what the road ahead brings, he's walking with you, holding your hand. And he's waiting at the end, ready to hug you in person & tell you how much he loves you & just how proud of you he is!

(( Tammy!! )) Love you girl!

(More on my mental struggles in my blog, if you're lacking for reading material: http://yylc.us/Janet )

[Dancer 0]

WOW! You all are amazing! You touch me in so many ways and I am so thankful to have friends like you all.

Tammy - You are in my prayers and my thoughts. Your struggles have made you who you are today and what will make you a success on this journey ahead. You are a truly amazing person!

Janet and Mikey - As always, you continue to amaze and awe me! Mikey is so right on, yet kind, with his words and Janet is ever inspiring with her reminder that God does love me! How easy it is for me to forget and to fall back on "oh woo is me". At the end of the day I can be nothing but thankful and glowing in his love and glory!

To everyone else, keep up the great work! We are all so alike and will all have stuggles to be supported through and victories to be celebrated by all. We are amazing just for making this life changing choice. We are still in the beginning stages of change and learning. We can and WILL succeed...together!

Have a wonderful day!

[JanetC 2]

(( Michelle!! )) Your words always make me smile, thanks! :eek:

Julie! I was re-reading stuff & realized I'd missed your post! Sorry about that!! **blush**

Your first fill, awesome!!! Congrats!! Party time! Especially with only 2 days of liquids! That's terrific! Are you feeling it at all? Of course with liquids, you might not, but you just might!

I heard a rumor that another poster here had a fill Monday, wonder how she's doing?? Oh purple lady? You out there? How'd that fill go? Or did you reschedule? Need me to go with? I will, you know!

I've been fighting my fill lately... back to my old tricks of not waiting between bites. I pay for it everytime, don't know why I'm letting myself slide. AUGH!!

Back to the basics, back to the basics, back to the basics... *walks off chanting to herself*.

[DonnaB 3]

Hi everyone!

Nanster and Dancer, I feel your PB pain. nanster did the lump in your throat go away? The PB experience is something I wouldn't wish on an enemy. Well, maybe a really bad enemy. I know, I'm going to hell for even thinking it. I wonder if there's a band I can have placed around my brain to help stop that? Hmmm. If there isn't, it's surely just a matter of time.

skbishop, I ordered some tanning towels from *glancing nervously around* QVC. I'm hoping I can get a reasonable looking tan without a bunch of streaks. If they don't work I may find myself in a tanning bed before too long, but I'd really rather avoid it at my age. Thanks for the heads up on the port scar turning dark. If I resort to tanning I'll be sure to cover it with some sunblock or maybe a piece of tape. I'm really hoping the tan towels do it for me though. Anyone ever heard of them?

Tammy, I've suffered from anxiety attacks for several years and I can relate to your situation from that perspective. I only recently realized that the horrible feeling I get with an attack has a name - it's called swooning. I thought that was just something trashy Victorian romance novelists used to facilitate sex-without-guilt scenes! but it actually exists. I often wonder if, knowing what we know and still behaving in counterproductive ways has something to do with denial. When I was a kid, I thought that by sticking my head under the covers that monsters couldn't see me. I stuck my head under and just KNEW they couldn't see me. Not seeing me, they'd eat some other little girl. I think it's a little like that - I deny that that bite of food will/has lead to obesity and since that bite doesn't effect me I can't possibly be in danger of hurting myself. That's not quite it exactly but it's getting close - for me anyway. Unfortunately I don't think this ramble is really helping you but it's certainly making me confront one of my demons. Denial. Thanks for helping me with MY problems! Sorry.

As far as thinking about dying all the time goes, I kinda do it too. Mine is usually focused around timing. I worry that if I start a journey at just the wrong time that I'll be the one that gets crushed under the freak-accident bridge collapse. Or I'll think, as I'm getting ready to leave my house, that somewhere down the road is an eighteen wheeler that, in the fullness of time, will reach the on-ramp that I'm using to start my trip to the mall or wherever, and blow a tire, swerve out of control and kill me. I sometimes even think about which freeway he might be on and how far away he'd have to be to end up in the right place and time for it to happen. For sobbing out loud!!!! Even worse, the person at the factory making tires is not paying attention and months from now . . . . . It just goes on and on. I do it a lot but they key for me so far, is that I won't let it paralyze me with fear. (So you see, being stubborn does have advantages! *sigh* I will learn to control this.) Another thing I do to relieve myself of anxiety from thinking that way is to consider that my anxiety, phobia, or whatever, is making me more conscious of what's going on around me and maybe because I am so conscious, I'll be the one that AVOIDS dying of chemical poisoning because I told the lawn-care company that I didn't want weed control sprayed on until after the fumes from the house painting next door has dissapated! See? I do it too. Not to make light of your situation but maybe we all do it a little and you and I are just on the fast track right now. Hmmmm.

Julie* I'm glad to hear your first fill went well. I'm still facing mine and any time I hear someone say it was OK, or even, not that bad, I store it away in my mind like some crazed squirrel preparing for winter. Julie didn't have a problem, maybe I won't either!

Mickey - I don't think I've ever seen you make such a long post before! I loved it - you hit the nail squarely on the head about having to become hyper conscious about food in order to become unconscious about it again - but in a positive way next time.

EVERYONE: I am now going to embrace my problem with denial and declare, no hair loss for me. Uh uh. Nope. Not gonna happen. Oh my. This is a very scary thing. Without hair my face is going to look like a giant cue ball. *beginning to chew my fingernails and wondering "What was so bad about being a size 28 again?* Oh ya, the cue ball face thing. Crap.

Oh Janet! I did reschedule, but there were extenuating circumstances. Honestly. I hesitate to post it here because I know I'm being board-stalked by people who have villified me as a TROLL who only thinks rainbow-pink-pony thoughts because I let myself be sucked into a huge RIDICULOUS flame war. Let myself? Hell, I was so irked I practically stormed into the fray! You warned me to stay out of it. Next time, I promise, I'll take your advise. I wonder if I was acting out over my anger-of/loss-of food issues? Or if I can at least blame it on that? Talk about screwed up! Ahh the infinite permutations of my eating disordered, pastry thought filled, F'd up, relationship with FOOD! I wish there were a cold turkey cure for it. I think I could do it. OK, enough of that! Here it is: I tried to eat a scrambled egg yesterday morning. Do I need to say more? I've eaten eggs before, I didn't think it would be a problem. It was. A BIG one. Yikes. After six hours - yep SIX - I called my doc to find out if I was going to live or die. At that point I was voting for die. He asked a lot of questions and I was beginning to get worried - *why so many questions?* - when he pronounced me normal, and prescribed one day of liquids, one day of super soft mushies, one day of mushies, and then we'll see how it goes from there. Relief. He's going to call me again tonight to check on me. *?* A little less relief - why the call if I'm normal? *little nail bite* I choose to believe it's because he enjoys my sparkling wit! Anyone care to joing me in a rousing chorus of 'I'm super delusional but that's OK"? I'm sore today and, despite lots of stomach growling, I'm not hungry at all which tells me I'm swollen, so, no problem with liquid diet compliance. Oh my. I am glad I was already mentally prepared for a few days of liquids. Talk about nearly instant Karma! And, true to form, I will find a silver, rainbow, pink-pony lining: I bet I lose a couple of pounds in the next three days! LOL

*hanging my head in shame* Can I still be a Febster?

By the way, filibuster, filibuster, filibuster, filibuster, filibuster, filibuster, filibuster, filibuster, filibuster. Is it working yet?

Now I know why everyone is liking this purple font so much. It matches my fur coat.

[Dancer 0]

Donna - you go girl! You totally cracked me up with that one! Your purple coat looks fabulous! LOL!!!:nervous

As for tanning, I have been doing it the old fashion way...easier since we have a pool. But, I have also been using Jergens glow something or another...they have it for your face and for your body...I feel pretty sticky after I put it on, but I use it just before bed.

It is working really well! It has really enhanced the tan that I have started. Can't wait to keep working on it this weekend!

I took Friday off of work (best friend coming in town) and I can't wait for a four day weekend!

Sad it is only Tuesday and I am thinking that way!

[JanetC 2]

LOL, awesome post, DonnaB! I'm loving the purple font... yeah, it really does match your coat! :eek:

Sorry for the evil flame war you got into. I managed to keep myself away from it, but I think it's safe to say that all members involved on both sides got angry & hurt. I was hurting for everyone while I was ducking!

I'm so sorry to hear about your egg incident! It sounds soooo painful! Are you doing better now? And when did you reschedule for? Remember to be gentle & go slowly as you get back to food! Scary stuff! And it sounds like you've got a great doc who believes in follow-up!

Keep in touch & let us know how the recovery progresses! (( Hugs!! ))

[JanetC 2]

Now I'm officially jealous of Michelle! Pool, tan & all! :eek: My orange streaks are fading... so I'm off to try something else. I think maybe I just bought too dark a color. I'm going to try a "fair skinned" product this time (I went for medium, lol, in my dreams!)

[Dancer 0]

Janet - to help the orange fade faster, try a loafa (sp?). It should help you to sluff off some of the dead skin and get rid of the streaks!

I gave up on self tanners...I could NEVER get them on right!

Good luck!