FOR ADULTS ONLY (x rated)

[Zan 0]

OMG! I finally stopped laughing enough to type! This thread is hysterical! I think I’ll hit the sack now… I hear Jack calling …. :laugh

[PhotoNut 7]

Jack.. Jack.. hmm His last name wouldn't happen to be Hammer.. would it?? *grins*

[Kathy473 1]

OOOHHHHH! Jack be nimble but not quick I always say! Gotta love that Jack!

[bondgirl 0]

Oh My My My!! Looks like I know what I need to be doing right now. Hubby upstairs watching the tube. I think I need to break that up and throw down! WOOT!!!! The heeheedily needs some attention! :xena_banana:

[Thinjen 0]

I'm pre-band with no libido. Say, if you don't use it- does it grow back together like newly pierced ears with no rings?

[Kelliebelly 13]

Wow, that would make me nearly a virgin again, my poor Dh.

[PhotoNut 7]

OMG Ive been getting these posts in my email, and laughing so hard at the previews I could hardly get here! Does it grow back together?? ROFL!!!

Too damn funny!!

[Wheetsin 714]

I'm a born again virgin.

[Wheetsin 714]

Ok, so I'm a big fat liar too. I can't even remember the last time I was a virgin.

I just have to quote Something About Mary, it has such classic lines:

"The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker."

That just kills me.

I met DH on a trip I took to Europe. Between when I met him, and when he moved here, 4 years elapsed... at some point during which we decided we'd be in a committed relationship, yada yada. Made for some REALLY lonely nights, and I mean "Ooh, these tight jeans giving me camel toe feel pretty damn good!" kind of lonely. So when we'd finally manage a visit, after not seeing each other for 2, 4, 6 months, we'd let loose.

It was then, after smuggling in some sexual contraban, and half scared but half hoping the cute European customs guys would pick my bags to inspect, that I learned "edible" is such an overstatement.

Oh and in case I failed to mention, yes - my bags were inspected in the customs line. And the edibles were the tamest thing I had packed. I have no shame.

Word to the wise? Plug-in *ahem* accessories that are designed to run on American current really go haywire when plugged into European outlet convertors if you've forgotten to also plug in the current convertor. You'd think that after plugging my hair dryer in, only to have it blow with about 250 HP, and have the heating element instantly start to glow red hot (no exaggeration), I'd have learned my lesson. But nope, I learned the hard (but incredibly satisfying!) way that this is true for all pluggy in type devices.

[SkyeBlu 0]

At our visit with my doc this week he commented on that my libido may possibly increase, hubby just looked at me and rolled his eyes sarcastically. (he has issues keeping up with me now)

I just read him snipits of the postings and he slumped down into his chair rubbed his belly and sighed saying "I guess I need to start running again is what you are warning me"

[CandySmooch 0]

Token virgin here... All this talk makes me [almost] want to get married LOL!

Kudos to you PuddinPop - stay that way! That is a very strong virtue and shows a lot of your character!

Jon and I have been getting it on a lot more than usual here lately and I've actually been doing a little Reverse Cowgirl ridin a lot more than what used to be NEVER - but if we're talking favorites, doggy and funked up missionary are my faves! He's been able to last a lot longer too although I haven't had a substantial amount of weight loss yet. It all just seems so much more intense each time - I can't imagine being at my goal weight and what the sex will be like then - I'M GOING TO BE SWINGING FROM THE CEILING FANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAWWWWWWW COWGIRL!!!!!! LOOK OUT CUZ I'M GOING TO SAVE A HORSE AND RIDE A COWBOY!!!

[vinesqueen 2]

This thread is a hoot. I read the best incentive for a man to lose weight in Men's Health magazine was that for every 35 lbs a man loses he gets back 1 inch in the woody.

Oh dear gawd no! My DH has lost 200 pounds and still has at least another 100 to go!

[HeatherGurl 0]

"He's a very tall, very strong guy so the man literally threw me around the room (like I was tiny or something!) and I let him. It was *amazing*."

Great, now I'm the "H" word.

I was thinking the same thing when I read that line!!! Gave me goosebumps... I love how my hubby throws me round the room!!!

[PhotoNut 7]

Vines.. umm.. im speechless. *laughs*

[vinesqueen 2]

YOU'RE speechless???? what about me???