Keeping Lap Band a Secret

[DETERMINED*DG 8]

Hi All!

I just got my surgery date this morning. I am admittedly a little nervous to share this news with to many people. I told my boss I will be having suregery (not what type); and I would say about 7 close friends/family (including the husband) are aware of what I am doing. I have not told my siblings or my parents. I am afraid of failure. Or, getting people worked up and my surgery date changes (insurance or other complications).

Would love any advice you can give me.

Thanks!

[DETERMINED*DG 8]

I'm pretty much in the same spot you are! (Waiting on surgery date). I've mentioned it t my parents, but I don't think they know serious I am. The process is going a lot faster than expected! My boyfriend and 2 girlfriends we told! THAT'S IT! Like you, I'm nervous of failure! What if it doesn't work for me the way it did for others? How do I explain it to others if I'm asked? (Weight hasn't been an easy topic to discuss in the first place.) I too am trying NOT to think about the complications or adaptation that come with this procedure, but with time and determination, I think we'll be okay! Good luck to us!

[Crissy8705 0]

Hi all! I am having surgery next week and decided to keep it a secret from my friends and family..even my kids..i'm afraid if it doesnt work i'll be embarrassed. Can I hear some success stories and what should I expect ?

Every one has their own preferance! You shouldn't feel embarassed or ashamed that you are taking control of your life and taking the next step to living healthier. I was very open about what I plan on doing and I got some positive and some negative feedback. I did it mainly for the support. Knowing that people are there for you no matter what happens takes a little bit of the stress and anxiety off. I think you are brave and no matter which way you go, will do great! Maybe consider talking to a spouse or best friend, just that link of support can make a world of difference!

[goldenvic 0]

I will be banded on Aug 31 and have only told my spouse, because I need a ride. I don't plan to tell anyone else yet. I'm believing the surgery will go fine or else I'd tell my kids. I'm looking forward to being more active and embrace my life.

[seabee chief 0]

Hi all! I am having surgery next week and decided to keep it a secret from my friends and family..even my kids..i'm afraid if it doesnt work i'll be embarrassed. Can I hear some success stories and what should I expect ?

[cristina2332 0]

Hi all! I am having surgery next week and decided to keep it a secret from my friends and family..even my kids..i'm afraid if it doesnt work i'll be embarrassed. Can I hear some success stories and what should I expect ?

I am also keeping my Lap Band surgery a secret. My procedure is slated for February of 2012 for work related reasons. Anyway, I don't want anyone to know because I have to admit, I'm embarrassed that I couldn't lose the weight on my own. The surgery seems less invasive than the bypass and with little hospital stay and short recovery time, hopefully, I can just say I'm on a diet and for once, I am successful. With everyone putting their business on Facebook and other sites on the internet, I'm just not interested in being an open book.

[PJ384 3]

I have only told my husband and my children and my best friend and they have all been very supportive Iam not telling anyone at work or other family and casual friends because when I mentioned last year that I was thinking about looking into it I got "Oh no don't do that you just need to try a little harder you can do it on your own" well if that were true I would be thin because Iam sure not Fat for lack of tryingI have added it up and over the years I have lost and regained over 430 lbs I have always been able to lose a few pounds whenever I have tried but I get lazy or bored with it and I quit and I gain the pounds back plus and couple extra so Iam hoping with the Lapband I will be able to lose the weight for good because I will not be on a diet I will be on a new way of life eating the things I like just a lot less of them at any given time and feeling full and satisfied with that smaller portion.We are all starting a low cal diet here after the first of the year anyway and I have agreed to do with the rest of the staff so I don't think anybody will question it when I lose those pounds they will just think its finally working for me and it will be :-)

[keepIToff 6]

I wouldn't say I am keeping it a secret, just telling the people I want. I told my kids, Mother, and my girlfriend. I won't lie if someone asks what I did to loose all the weight (when I do) but I am not broadcasting it. Just not my style, but for some they announce it to the world, put it on Facebook, twitter or whatever, and that is fine just not me. I wouldn't have even told my mother or kids if my girlfriend didn't convince me too, but glad I did because I think it was right for them to know I was having a surgery. It's just up to the person having it done in my opinion.

[cutecamille 2]

I've only told my son, my mother and my sister. Didn't tell my dad or brothers because I don't want to be stressed by any of their comments before I have the surgery. I think they will be supportive in their own "special" way. I don't need their tough love support. Sensitivity is not their strong suit. I might tell them or I might not. My stress level is so low compared to having someone constantly questioning me and giving me their opinion on what I should do. So to avoid all of the rigama-roll I'm sticking with my circle of three.

[sonnymom 8]

My husband is extremely supportive about my upcoming surgery. I was quite surprised when my physically fit daughter responded with "why don't you change how you eat?". I've told three people at work - my best friend, the school nurse, and the administrator I report to (I'm a teacher). All 3 have promised to not say anything. I haven't said anything to the person I work closest with is because she's like Western Union with an opinion - already said in a discussion that lapband was the worst of all diets - like she's been so successful on her HMR diet! I have a feeling that my administrator may have said something to her, but being non-confrontational - not sure how to bring it up. I know that students and teachers will talk when the weight starts coming off, I'll deal with it then.

As many of you have said - it's none of their business!

[sandybraman 18]

I felt like this was something personal and shared it with only a few people. My husband and sister have been extremely supportive, as have the girls at my dentist's (I had to have a crown replaced the week after my surgery) and two of the tellers at the bank I see everyday (one just lost 80 lbs, the other is trying so she can get pregnant). What amazed me was my best friend: she didn't want me to do it (even after my husband told her the day of my surgery that it was my decision, it was going to make me healthier and happier, and to just deal with it) and still says things like "aren't you losing weight too fast?" I'm certainly not going to lie to anyone, but I don't necessarily think I need to broadcast it to everyone I know, either.

As my grandmother told me when I was younger and not sure how to respond to a compliment, "Just say thank you and smile".

[Dawn200321 146]

I told a handfull of people. My mom, hubby, co-workers, but pretty much anyone that I dont talk to directly doesnt know. Its akward for me though when people bring up my weight loss. I dont like to lie at all so I really dont know what to say...

[bmmb2009 6]

I too only told a handful of people...my parents, bestie and 2 others. No one else in my family or any other friends know about it...unless one of the 5 above told them. Last week, my boss told me that I looked nice and had lost a lot of weight and asked what I was doing. I told him I was eating right and going to the gym...it's not a lie. I don't feel the need to tell him or anyone else that I'm banded and don't feel that I'm lying by not telling them. I do eat right and I do go to the gym and that's all they need to know.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

its a personal decision that you have to make only for yourself. you dont owe any body an explanation. my family was very supportive because they knew i had been struggling with my weight for years. my co workers have also been very supportive. i honestly havent heard one negative comment. its now been 4 weeks. im down 15 lbs and 1 pant size. just this week ive had 2 very nice discreet compliments. ( one hot mama, and _you're looking especially nice lately!) woo hoo ! i think if you're calm and proud of you decision people will treat you that way. if they make negative comments just ask them how much they've researched lap bands. they will probably get reallllllllll quiet. good luck !

[HeatherinCA 10]

I think it depends how you react to it. For me, I eat normally, I don't have stuck episodes. I could easily hide it. I got a new job about 6 months in, nobody knows except the people I've told. I have a lean cuisine for lunch, it's not that weird. BUT, ultimately it's good to have a support group.