Keeping Lap Band a Secret

[Mindy! 3]

Besides my parents, I have told my four close friends and my two sisters. Earlier tonight I told one of my oldest and best friends that I only know on the internet. That was the hardest thing to do, I think, because she always knew I was overweight but we've never met so she's just had my pictures to go off of, which doesn't really translate size too well all the time. She was extremely supportive and had nothing but positive things to say! She asked a lot of questions, including but not limited to "So, if you eat very very little with the band, does that mean you only poop once a week? Or like hamster pellets?!". Now that's a good question! I love her. I really lucked out on my support system, didn't I?

[mfrancis 1]

I got banded 7/12/11, and I all but yelled it from my roof.....the only people I did not tell were my 3 minor children. My family was against my willingness to be so open, but I reached a point where I was not so embarassed about my weight. Hopefully I have given someone the courage to address their situation and make a decision. Having lap band surgery has been one of my best decisions....

[cat lady 10]

I only told my husband and married children before the surgery. I could not deal with opinions from everyone bcause I was struggling with my decision to do this. So glad I did it. Now after the surgery told a few close friends. Some seemed put off by the fact that I kept it to myself. But, I did this for ME and I had to do what was comfortable for ME. Now they seem to understand my feelings about this. Is not something I wanted to announce to the world especially bfore it happened. CAT

[cyndiebear 0]

Thanks to everyone who was kind enough to respond to my post.. I am speachless, however so happy to know there are people who feel just like me..yehhhhhhhhhh, right now I feel so alone because I cant tell anyone. I got my lie together..hehehehe i'm having gallbladder surgery..im working on what to tell my boyfriend now. I already started with i'm on my way to the doctor to get my results..woosh now I have to tell him im having surgery..oh lawd i hope he doesnt ask to many questions. wish me luck and i'll see u in my next post tomorrow is the big day..weight loss here I come

[need2lose2 10]

I am struggling with what to tell my kids. The oldest 2 are 15 and 16 so there isn't much i can get away with saying. I am definately sure that i do not want them to know, so i've gotta come up with something. Whenever i get my approval and date, i will make it while they are in school so they won't know where i'll be during the day. I just have to figure out what to tell them to explain why i'm in pain, need to sleep more, and need more help while i recover. any ideas???? It can't be anything having to do with surgery cuz they'll tell their teachers and friends and i will get a barage of calls and visitors!! lol

[africanqueen 0]

You are not alone. I did the same thing. I have only told 3 coworkers well 4. The fourth one found out because she was doing benefits for the insurance and ran across my name. I just told a close friend because she is my drop off and pickup from the hospital.One of the 4 coworkers had lap band surgery about 5 weeks ago and talking to her been a relief. I am like some of the other people, I don't like my business in the street. Plus my family is not a supportive family. Plus I told them just in case something happens and someone will know whats going on and to contact my mother. Telling has to be something that you feel comfortable doing. If you are not there yet don't say anything til that time. I have my surgery 8/15/11 and I will tell my mother for Thanksgiving when I see her again.

[SmoovSailing 0]

Only 3 people know....my Mama, my roomie (she's banded) and 1 close girlfriend. I will tell my dad and bonus mom once I get my surgery date. If anyone else should find out, then I know who told!!

[Grider 92]

I told my sons wives and grandschildren they look at al the before and after pictures, and i made fun and told the gals I was taking thier skinny jeans when I washed them and we have gone though deaths and lives together. Now its the MOMS turn to do for self. At work it is a different story, a few people know cause, in case my grands have the flu or are snotty nosed, I may need a ride to hospt. I know who to trust and whome not to. DO what is comfortable to you and yours and rem this is your journey, so onward ,,,One more Dr visit and final prep visit for surgery HURRY up October!

[graphix1 6]

I am getting banded tomorrow and I have only told my husband, my daughter and one co-worker. I usually do not care about what people think of me, but this was a very personal decision for me. My in-laws don't know and neither does my twin sister. I want to surprise her with the weight loss on our 40th birthday.

[DETERMINED*DG 8]

IM SO GLAD I READ THIS POST!! I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY! IVE TOLD 3 PEOPLE AND I WAS VERY PARTICULAR WHO I TOLD! I THINK ITS MORE OF A FEELING OF FAILING! IM NERVOUS I WONT LOSE AS MUCH AS ID LIKE AND I ALSO FEEL SOMEWHAT EMBARRASSED THAT THIS IS THE EXTREME IVE HAD TO GO TO LOSE THE WEIGHT! I KEEP TELLING MYSELF THIS IS A TOOL, I NEED TO MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF AND STAY FOCUSED! IM IN THE "WAITING FOR APPROVAL" PHASE AND I FEEL MYSELF GETTING EXCITED, ANXIOUS AND NERVOUS ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I HAVE A FRIEND THAT HAD GASTRIC BYPASS AND SHE TOLD ME HOW SHE HAD A HARD TIME WITH SOME FRIENDS MAKING COMMENTS ABOUT HER WLS. (OBVIOUSLY, THOSE ARENT GOOD FRIENDS) IM CONCERNED ABOUT COMMENTS, IM WORRIED ABOUT THE LIFE LONG CHANGE, BUT IM DETERMINED AND IVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT ITS MY BUSINESS!

[bandpal 7]

This is a much bruited-about subject here, there's no right answer. You just have to do what feels right for you.

For me, shame was a big part of my life before the band, and being up front with others about what I have done is part of my recovery. I have nothing to hide, nothing to apologize for (which does not mean that those who chose to act differently are acting as if they do). In this way, I also am able to make myself available to others who might be considering the operation.

[Amy4 0]

I am waiting approval. I'm only telling a few close friends and 2 family members. I don't think I will lie if anyone asks if I had some sort of WLS though.

[abqann 3]

Man . so many great thoughts here.I have opted to tell only my hubbie of 28 years and my adult daughter who lives with us. If she did not live with us I probably would not have told her until after as well.I have one co worker who had bypass last February and i did discuss it with her.She was pivotal in my decision to do this. She is closed mouthed as she understands not wanting to put up with "well meaning buttinskies who will tell you all of the horror stories they know" . I may tell after my surgery date is set and all is a done deal. But probably not. At least not until they start to ask how I lost weight and how great I look....I think there is so much judgment out there. Also I am borderline BMI 36.5 with sleep apnea. I am also tall and do not look as heavy as I am, so I think many will think I " do not need this just loose weight the regulat way". Most of my weight is in my midsection where it does the most harm to your heart, one of the main reason I am going to do this. I am not telling others in my family until they see results. My sister will freak, as she will worry about complications. I was in the medical field for 30 years so I am well versed in complications. Howerer I also am sure they can be minimized by following your surgeon's directions EXACTLY. I meet with my surgon next week and cannot wait to get further down this path.

[Shannon28 26]

I'm waiting to tell my in-laws until after I get the surgery and lose some weight. I don't need any negativity right now and although most of my husbands family would understand there are always those couple of people that have nothing better to do than put me down. As for my family, I told everyone I could possibly tell and they are excited for me. I have a very supportive family and know they will be with me 100% even if I don't lose the weight. It is a personal choice and everyones situation is different. But for me, I'm telling the supportive people in my life and will let the less supportive know later down the road. (if at all lol)

[acm 2]

Hi All!

I just got my surgery date this morning. I am admittedly a little nervous to share this news with to many people. I told my boss I will be having suregery (not what type); and I would say about 7 close friends/family (including the husband) are aware of what I am doing. I have not told my siblings or my parents. I am afraid of failure. Or, getting people worked up and my surgery date changes (insurance or other complications).

Would love any advice you can give me.

Thanks!