Woe is me

[Janiece 64]

This is a total bitchfest, so please skip if you're not in the mood.

My boyfriend is getting tired of hearing me complain, so I've come here to vent. I've lost 100lbs in 20 months which is great, but I've been feeling kind of crappy lately. I've one from a size 24 to a 14, but when I try on most clothes they don't look good on me because of my extra skin. I'm only 26 years old, but after losing all this weight, I have bat wings, my boobs are saggy and I need a Tummy Tuck. While I guess I'm glad I'm not carrying around all the fat I had before, I still feel disappointed that I can't wear any cute clothes in my size. It seems that everything is sleeveless or cut too high on the arms (which shows off my batwings) or is low rise (which shows off my sexy muffin top skin roll). Actually, I'm more than disappointed, I'm kind of angry that I went through all this and I still don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I plan to go see a plastic surgeon soon. I was hoping to get to 170lbs first, but I've been stalled at 195 for the last few months. I just want to be normal already. I'm tired of scheduling fills around business meetings and and making up excuses as to why I don't want to join coworkers for lunch. *sigh* I just want to be normal!

I know this is just a phase, but I'm just feeling cruddy. I'm sure I'll snap out of it soon.

thanks for reading!

Janiece

[nomorejellybelly 77]

Hang in there. I think it sounds like the plastic surgeon consult is a good idea. I've thought about it myself, but my weight loss slowed down alot and I've not notice a lot of extra skin flab. I think my arms actually look better. On second thought, I think I don't like how the back of my legs look/feel, right under the buttocks.

Did you tell your co-workers you had the surgery? I didn't and when I've gone out to lunch with them (rare), I just act like I'm not super hungry and take home most of the meal for another lunch.< /p>

[Sistersue 12]

Congratulations on losing 100lbs. I too have bat wings but I still wear sleeveless tops. The muffin top is an issue too so I am going to get a pair of Spanks for now and maybe remove the skin later.

[YngGram 73]

Janiece, First let me laugh. OK, better now. I fully understand where you are with this. Congrats on the weight you've lost. I got my band about 9 months before you and I haven't come close to that. I have had luck on my side (some), I had had Lipo a few years before so my muffin is not a large as it would have been,. I had breast cancer and some of my tummy was used to reconstruct a new breast, extra skin was taken then so I really don't have the floppies there. I had a reduction on the other breast, It grew back some, and the weight loss has it drooooooooping. The other still sits up. It is hard to look right in most shirts because of the different sizes and the "new nipple" is always happy.

Also, even though I haven't lost any weight in months, the weight is shifting around. Below my knees and elbows I am SKINNY!. Above, I am FLABBY! The thigh jiggle alone has me in jeans in 110 temps.

Walmart is my answerer to jeans. Now that I can wear a 12 or 14 I look like I have a butt; it was just a wide FLAT board before.

I am glad I don't have "dress up" very often because not much works. The sleeves are tight if it fits everywhere else. If it looks right on the girls out comes the muffin! Still I am in the over-shirt hanging to hide something.

My youngest child is older than you, and my DH of 33 yrs thinks I look great in everything, but I see different. Smile child, it will all work out. You did this for a reason and the answerers will come in time. I hope I have given you a smile and this is always the place to vent.

[Janiece 64]

@jellybelly - no I haven't told most of my coworkers. I'm in software development, so I work with mostly under-socialized men (lol) so I don't think they'd really care, nor would they be particularly sympathic. A few of them know, but we don't really talk about it. I'm usually fine eating out with them, but it never fails-- they always want to go to a Mongolian BBQ buffet a few days after I get a fill!

@Sistersue - Thanks! Spanx are too expensive for me since I have to keep going down in sizes. I've been using the Flexees camis from JCPenney (b/c they're always on sale -- buy 1 get 1 50% off) and whatever the Walmart brand of control cami is.

@niterum - Thanks! Well, I'm sure the breast cancer had an impact on your weightloss, but 63lbs is still awesome! I see you live in VA too. It's been hella hot here this summer and yes, I either wear long pants or a kimono dress I found at Target a few months ago. I REALLY need to go shopping. My boyfriend of 5 years is the same way. I love him for it, but I'm standing in front of the mirror jiggling my arms and he's like "no really! you're exaggerating. It's not that bad!" whatever...I have old lady arms...

thank you all!

[stateofzen 46]

I completely understand and can sympathize. I had a plastic surgery consult last week, and now I'm just depressed I have to wait another year to save money/have the time to take off before I can get it. Looking in the mirror does bring you down sometimes, but I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

[sld21 26]

@jellybelly - no I haven't told most of my coworkers. I'm in software development, so I work with mostly under-socialized men (lol) so I don't think they'd really care, nor would they be particularly sympathic. A few of them know, but we don't really talk about it. I'm usually fine eating out with them, but it never fails-- they always want to go to a Mongolian BBQ buffet a few days after I get a fill!

@Sistersue - Thanks! Spanx are too expensive for me since I have to keep going down in sizes. I've been using the Flexees camis from JCPenney (b/c they're always on sale -- buy 1 get 1 50% off) and whatever the Walmart brand of control cami is.

@niterum - Thanks! Well, I'm sure the breast cancer had an impact on your weightloss, but 63lbs is still awesome! I see you live in VA too. It's been hella hot here this summer and yes, I either wear long pants or a kimono dress I found at Target a few months ago. I REALLY need to go shopping. My boyfriend of 5 years is the same way. I love him for it, but I'm standing in front of the mirror jiggling my arms and he's like "no really! you're exaggerating. It's not that bad!" whatever...I have old lady arms...

thank you all!

I understand that Spanx are expensive (I think they are $40 at Lane Bryant and such). But its cheaper than plastic surgery and the best $40 you will ever invest. I feel like a brand new woman in mine. It's the only thing besides jewelry and accessories that I can buy in Lane Bryant, as I have lost 108lbs in the last 18 months..from a 24 to an 8. I am loaded with skin and will remove it one day (hopefully after having a baby)

You should be able to fit the 1x or xl spanx (I always get one smaller). They last forever when taken care of like lingerie. Mine though typically get a lot of holes from my nails.

[kellyodoran 12]

I have been wondering about the whole Spanx thing.......are they hot to wear?? and what part of the body do they generally cover? What do you wear them under? Jeans? I guess I could google them, but want to hear your imput first!

[papoose 48]

@Janiece, I feel the same way also. I have lost 100 lbs in 9 months and I am very jiggling. I work for a law firm so I have to dress decently. I wear dresses a lot because it has been so hot. I wear Spanx because it holds me in very well and I am not jiggling so much. I have the long ones I used to wear in the winter under my pants. They are expensive, but they last a long time if you wash them correctly and rip them. They really hold your thighs and your stomach in and gives your butt an uplift. I buy the high waist ones, it comes all the way up under your bra. It is time for me to invest in a couple of more pairs. I have the Flexees camisole also, but they kept rolling up on me, not sure if I bought them too small at the time or what. But I have to try them again soon. At this time I can't afford surgery, so I will continue to buy Spanx. I wear a sweater everyday to hide my bat wings, I am not comfortably showing them yet. I heard and have seen someone that had surgery for their arms that it left a terrible scar. Lucky for me my husband is not complaining about all the jiggling.

[Sistersue 12]

I must say I scar weird. I too had breast cancer but years ago and was told that my scars spread too much so they didn't even try the scar minimization surgery most people get.

[Kate rules 43]

Try getting Spanx during nordstrom half yearly sale. It is how I got mine. I wore spanx from anywhere in the 185 pounds down to 149 pounds. I got the "higher power" spanx that has thigh, hip, tummy, and back roll control to the bra line. Even at my skinniest, the spanx helps create a smoother silouette (sorry to butcher spelling). I don't work for spanx but wish I had purchased stock because my business alone probably helped boost them!