How will Dad's banding affect overweight children?

Scott F · January 30, 2006

I have a surgery date of Feb 20, 2006. My major concern is how my banding will affect my overweight daughters, ages 10, 15, 19 and 25. Will it be positive - they see dad eating better portions, exercising more, thinner. Or will it be negative - "Dad couldn't control weight through "normal" means so I'm just going to bide my time until I'm big enought to get banded too."

Anybody have experience with this?

HeatherGurl · January 30, 2006

I would think it would have a positive affect on your daughters... But everyone is different. My mother, father, sister and I have always been overweight, but I plan on teaching my daughter to eat the right things and Portion Control and maybe she won't have the problems I did.

I really hope that it is a positive experience for your whole family.

vinesqueen · January 30, 2006

I don't know that there is a generic answer to your question. I know that my son is starting to feel pressure because DH is losing again.

The answer to your question could be yes to both, nor no to both, or somewhere in the middle.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help

mousecrazy · January 30, 2006

I am really interested in this, also, as my DD is overweight. She's 8 years old, and has problems with portion size, and a BIG sweet tooth. She is watching me with admiration, but it hasn't changed her habits very much...my experience with kids as a teacher says they watch for a LONG time before they start practicing a new habit. Make sure they see that you are working hard and that it's not easy....which shouldn't be too difficult! Hopefully, they will see that surgery is NOT the easy way out.

Cindy

Anwyn · January 30, 2006

I think their reactions will depend a lot on their personalities, but setting a good example can't be a bad thing. That's not to say that they won't have trouble adjusting to a slimmer you - there are a lot of complicated emotions that go on when a loved one loses weight. But, even if they are resentful at first I think they'll realize as they mature that having their dear dad around longer because he's healthy is a great thing.

After I read your post I couldn't help but wonder if YOU are the one who is feeling like you're taking the easy way out. So I'm here to tell you - you're not!! You will need to exercise and eat right to make it work. It's a great tool to help with Portion Control, but it's not a cop out. And setting a good example for your daughters will just be the icing on the (fat free sugar free) cake.

Parvathi · January 30, 2006

My 8 yo daughter has always been a chubby kid, but over the holidays, she spent two months in the states with my parents. In that time, she stacked on 10 lbs!! On her lil 4 ft tall frame that was a massive amount.

She had been eating healthy with me up until that point. When I told her after she got home that it was back to healthy eating, she made the comment of, "Why can't I just have a surgery like you?"

I think kids, or atleast my kid, doesn't mind doing it, as long as they don't know they're doing it. Ie, she's happy to go kick the soccer ball or ride the bike, as long as I don't tell her its exercise. She's happy to eat veggie fritatta for dinner, as long as I don't tell her its loaded with nutrients and 95% fat free...

Good luck

CCBSTX · January 30, 2006

Great question. I figure, they will have seen you both ways. Eating unhealthy and living healthy. After banding, you are putting good habits forward (with a little help). Maybe that will rub off, plus you serve healthier foods. An opinion, Shawn

Jachut · January 30, 2006

Its a tough one. I have to watch my older son, he's the kidn who likes to hide in his room on the Playstation all day and he eats healthy food but eats tons of it. He's 10. Ewan, who's 8 just spends all day burning around outside and is as skinny as a rake. He's also just not that interested in food.< /p>

It's a very fine line with kids between telling them they're getting chubby and destroying their self esteem.

I have just tried to approach this by reinforcing that these days, our way of life leads us to getting fat very easily an that Mum, and Dad for that matter, have both been affected by the last 10 years of hard work we've put into our family and not had a lot of time to look after ourselves. So that now I'm doing something sensible about it, but that if the kids pay attention to being outdoors, getting lots of running around and eating healthy food, they'll never have to suffer this problem. So I think I've managed to divest the whole issue of any emotional/moral connections and reinforce that it's just a health problem I've suffered from. The boys are so proud of what I've done so far.

I also fully intend sometime in the next few years when we've moved to set up a really good home gym, which I hope both boys will make use off during their teen years.

With Eliza, she's only just shy of 3 and I hope all she ever remembers is a healthy mother with no weight issues.

itsyvonne · February 1, 2006

Check out Ellyn Satter's philosophy on this....her book is: "[ame=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0967118913/ref=pd_sbs_b_3/002-0779278-4791269?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155]Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming[/ame]."