CONFLICTED...My Lap Band Story...

[Sleeved_4.3.13 16]

Hi Everyone.....I would like to formally introduce myself. I have been lurking around the messageboards for quite some time!

In 2005 my best friend and I travelled out of state to have the Lap Band procedure. We had researched the procedure for about a year prior to that. We were both self pay so we were looking for a surgeon with a good reputation while considering the cost. We had found our surgeon and were so excited to start our weight loss journey. We flew together out of state. Her mother met us the day of surgery and planned on keeping an eye on us while we recovered. The day of surgery came and I was first. Unfortunately and unexpectedly the surgeon perforated a hole in my stomach. He resorted to cutting my esophagus to wrap it around the portion of the stomach that was perforated to reinforce the perforation. I woke up to find out that the surgeon had to abort the procedure due to the perforation. Such a HUGE disappointment!!!! This was the first time the surgeon had perforated a stomach/had complications during surgery. My friend decided with her mom that she would go ahead with the surgery. They spoke with the surgeon and were assured that the chances of this happening is less than 1% and this was the first time something like this had occured. In the meantime I was in recovery not knowing any of this was going on. My friend had her surgery and it went smoothly. My husband flew to be by my side. A few days went by and her mother flew back home and my husband took care of the both of us. While I was so happy for my friend that she was doing great and her surgery went fine.....I couldn't help but feel sad for me.

After we were released from the hospital, my friend started not feeling well. She had a very hard time swallowing. Drinking fluids was very difficult for her. We stayed at a nearby hotel for a week so we could have our final appointment with the surgeon. She complained that she couldn't drink fluids but he dismissed her. I believe he was very uncomfortable with me considering what he had done during my surgery thus dismissing her so we would just leave.

My husband, my friend and I flew home. I told my friend that we would take her home and pick up her car at a later time from the airport but she insisted that she was fine and would be fine. Despite me pleading with her, she hopped in her car and I hopped in my husbands car. Driving on the major highway, she was right in front of us. About 5 minutes on the highway she crossed over the median and hit a tractor trailer head on. We saw the entire accident happen. We ran to her side where we found her unconscious.. They airlifted her to the hospital and we followed. In short, she had to have her hand amputed and is a quadrapalegic in a skilled nursing facility for the rest of her life. Such a horrible turn of events. I have been dealing with the guilt, anger and depression for 6 years now. I have finally gotten the nerve to write about our story.

I was told by that surgeon that the band would never be an option after this occurene.....tonight I went to a LOCAL seminar presented by a highly esteemed surgeon. I was given hope......he will review my records and decide if he would/could do the Lap Band surgery and if not...he will present me with all options. I am so conflicted considering what had happened.... For now all I can do is get my records and wait for the surgeon to review them.

I now have insurance that will cover weight loss surgery so that helps....but if given the "green light" can I actually go through with this? Am I crazy for even thinking about doing it? Was what happened 6 years ago a sign? After this ordeal I thought maybe I can do this on my own....I have tried. I had gained an additional 30lbs and recently lost 30lbs and I am exactly where I was the day of surgery. People say "you have to make the decision for you"....I don't know what to do though??? I wish I had the answer.

[Firecallie 2]

I would look at it as a good thing. If it's possible then now you will have a better band then they had available 5 years ago (which is when I got mine). Plus insurance is willin to pay. Maybe it was a sign to wait. I think you should do what is in your heart. After seeing how your friend has been doing do you think it's worth it? If so, and your heart is telling you to move forward then I would do it!

Good luck

Hi Everyone.....I would like to formally introduce myself. I have been lurking around the messageboards for quite some time!

In 2005 my best friend and I travelled out of state to have the Lap Band procedure. We had researched the procedure for about a year prior to that. We were both self pay so we were looking for a surgeon with a good reputation while considering the cost. We had found our surgeon and were so excited to start our weight loss journey. We flew together out of state. Her mother met us the day of surgery and planned on keeping an eye on us while we recovered. The day of surgery came and I was first. Unfortunately and unexpectedly the surgeon perforated a hole in my stomach. He resorted to cutting my esophagus to wrap it around the portion of the stomach that was perforated to reinforce the perforation. I woke up to find out that the surgeon had to abort the procedure due to the perforation. Such a HUGE disappointment!!!! This was the first time the surgeon had perforated a stomach/had complications during surgery. My friend decided with her mom that she would go ahead with the surgery. They spoke with the surgeon and were assured that the chances of this happening is less than 1% and this was the first time something like this had occured. In the meantime I was in recovery not knowing any of this was going on. My friend had her surgery and it went smoothly. My husband flew to be by my side. A few days went by and her mother flew back home and my husband took care of the both of us. While I was so happy for my friend that she was doing great and her surgery went fine.....I couldn't help but feel sad for me.

After we were released from the hospital, my friend started not feeling well. She had a very hard time swallowing. Drinking fluids was very difficult for her. We stayed at a nearby hotel for a week so we could have our final appointment with the surgeon. She complained that she couldn't drink fluids but he dismissed her. I believe he was very uncomfortable with me considering what he had done during my surgery thus dismissing her so we would just leave.

My husband, my friend and I flew home. I told my friend that we would take her home and pick up her car at a later time from the airport but she insisted that she was fine and would be fine. Despite me pleading with her, she hopped in her car and I hopped in my husbands car. Driving on the major highway, she was right in front of us. About 5 minutes on the highway she crossed over the median and hit a tractor trailer head on. We saw the entire accident happen. We ran to her side where we found her unconscious.. They airlifted her to the hospital and we followed. In short, she had to have her hand amputed and is a quadrapalegic in a skilled nursing facility for the rest of her life. Such a horrible turn of events. I have been dealing with the guilt, anger and depression for 6 years now. I have finally gotten the nerve to write about our story.

I was told by that surgeon that the band would never be an option after this occurene.....tonight I went to a LOCAL seminar presented by a highly esteemed surgeon. I was given hope......he will review my records and decide if he would/could do the Lap Band surgery and if not...he will present me with all options. I am so conflicted considering what had happened.... For now all I can do is get my records and wait for the surgeon to review them.

I now have insurance that will cover weight loss surgery so that helps....but if given the "green light" can I actually go through with this? Am I crazy for even thinking about doing it? Was what happened 6 years ago a sign? After this ordeal I thought maybe I can do this on my own....I have tried. I had gained an additional 30lbs and recently lost 30lbs and I am exactly where I was the day of surgery. People say "you have to make the decision for you"....I don't know what to do though??? I wish I had the answer.

[readytolosemomof5 0]

OMG! What an experience to go through! As you said, you have to make the decision that is right for you, but I don't think that you're crazy to consider the procedure once again. Think of the strain that the added weight has put on the results of the previous surgery. The fact that you are even playing with the idea of going through with another attempt for lapband placement says alot about where you are in the grieving process of what happened before with both you and your friend. It is possible that this is important in helping you heal emotionally, even if you decide against it. It may help get rid of that "what if" feeling.

BTW, did you ever find out what complication your friend experienced? And what about the financial- did either of you get reimbursed?

[Sleeved_4.3.13 16]

Thank you, Firecallie for your response. I didn't know that they have improved the band since 2005, interesting. I am curious to know what exactly they have improved. The device or the technique or both?

[Cindy C 150]

OMG, that's horrible. My heart goes out to your friend and to you. I'm sure you've been told a million times that your friend's accident was not your fault. Would she want you to pass on this possible opportunity or would she want you to go ahead? My guess is she would want what's best for you. If this doctor determines that he can do the surgery I say you should do it. Do it for yourself and do it for your friend. Maybe your success would make her accident and condition not be in vain.

[minniekitty 44]

I think you should go through with it - for your own health and happiness. I think your friend would be happy for you, too.

The guilt is a normal human response to such a horrible and heart-breaking turn of events. But, you shouldn't let the guilt stop you. I know first-hand how guilt can eat you up, but you can't let it.

[Sleeved_4.3.13 16]

I never really thought of it that way. I am greatful for your perspective.

Her family sued the surgeon and was awarded just enough to cover the lawyer fees. The dietitian actually sided with her lawyers. Appparently she was severely dehydrated resulting in her passing out etc...

The surgeon reimbursed me $5000 of the $130000 I paid. When he called my husband to advise him of the complication he said verbatim "I F'D up". "I can do the bypass at no charge" but my husband had to make the decision while I was still on the operating table. He told the surgeon "no way....just fix the hole"

[Sleeved_4.3.13 16]

Thanks for understanding, Kala.

[Snoopyloverny 3]

O m gosh, your story brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry u had to go throughsuch an ordeal. Is the dehydration what caused her accident? I'm so sorry for you and for your friend.

So are u ready to take that step toward the LB again? If u reallythink the surgery can be successful this time, I would. I'm sure your friend knew how badly you wanted that and she would want you happy!

I hope I can sleep after reading this, my heart goes out to both of you. I just can't Imagine!

Best of luck to your decision.

[SageTracey 608]

Wow, how tragic for all of you. It sounds like you have the support of a wonderful husband who will be there with you and for you through your journey. Go for it and live a longer, healthier life.

[Peps 1]

This past experience was a tragedy for both you and your friend. I wonder about the doctor that did your surgeries. It's just strange that both of you would have problems. Is your new surgeon in your state close by? Be sure he is at a Center of Excellence!

You have to make up your mind about having the surgery or not. I think your friend would want you to be healthy and happy for yourself and for all of the people who love you. It sounds like your husband is wonderful and is behind you whatever you decide.

I'm pre-surgery myself--hoping for a September date. I have an appt. with my surgeon on Aug. 17th to hopefully set a surgery date.

I want you to know that I'll keep you and your friend in my prayers. Take care!

Peg

[MzStace 1]

Prayers for you and your friend! I hope that you make the decision that will be best for you. Because my best friend and I will be going through this together as well. I wish you all the best and much success in which ever way you decide. You will be in my prayers!!!!!

[KYD 0]

I am so sorry to here of your horrible ordeal, I hope you make the right choice,although I don't know what that is. I will be thinking of you and praying you make the right choice for you.

[jbbemom 0]

Bless your heart! How sad that the doctor messed up your surgery, and then to lose your friend on the ride home...and to witness it. I can't imagine. My heart aches for your experiences but I do agree with others: Guilt will not bring your friend back, nor will it make you healthy. I'm sure she is with you in spirit and would support your decision to try again. You and your family have to decide what is right for you. If you have failed, as we all have, at losing significant weight on your own and need the weight loss for a long and healthy life, then you owe it to your family to try again. I agree that you need to find a Center of Excellence. They not only have the best surgeons, but their nursing staff is trained for the bariatric patient's special needs.

I wish you many blessings regardless of what you decide to do. Find your happiness again and LIVE!

[Sleeved_4.3.13 16]

Thank you to everyone for your kind words! I appreciate it. The surgeon I have chosen is local and is part of a Center of Excellence. I'm still waiting for my records from the first attempt at surgery then I can schedule the initial consult with the new surgeon. I am anxious to hear what he has to say but still not sure that I can go through with it (if it's even possible). I'll be sure tto send an update once I know more.

Thanks again!