Feeling like a complete failure!

[mynuday 1]

I had my band placed June 6, 2 weeks after he took my gall bladder out .My first fill was July 21st and when I weighed in I had lost 26.6 lbs since pre-op. I was so excited. My clothes are getting large for me and I can certainly see and feel a differance. But, when I got in to see the Dr. for my first fill I was questioned like never before. He wanted to know why I had only lost 10 lbs since surgery and that I was not loosing like his other patients. That this was not going to work for me if I did not eat right and exercise. All this was said before I answered any questions. I got that hot feeling that comes across your back and neck and was totally mortified (like as if I were a kid) As far as I was concerned I had been doing what I was told to do. All I could do was fight back the tears. He then said a fill would not help me at all if I was not going to follow the rules. WOW! after yes siring him many times he decided to give me my first fill (can't feel any difference) wondering if he just wanted to stick me again. I left his office feeling like a failure and literally spend the next 2 days crying and depressed. It took my husband to finally shake me of this and telling me I am doing wonderful. (I thought I was doing great until this office visit)

Has anyone else been through this as well?

[Cindy C 150]

Sounds like your doctor is an a$$. Just keep doing what you feel is right and the weight will keep coming off. Who cares if someone else loses it at a different rate? Don't let his attitude stop you from succeeding or from going for your fills. And (I can't believe I'm about to say this) listen to your husband!

[KimK813 2]

My surgeon and his staff are like cheerleaders. Even when I don't think I am doing well, they are there with poms poms going cheering me along. A doctor, of all people, should know that every person reacts differently. Maybe you should talk to him about his lack of support or even consider another doctor.

You are doing a great job and should feel over the moon about your accomplishments so far! Keep up the good work!

Good luck, everyone!

[Rachel412 116]

That's ridiculous and unfair. I'm so sorry.

[mynuday 1]

Sounds like your doctor is an a$$. Just keep doing what you feel is right and the weight will keep coming off. Who cares if someone else loses it at a different rate? Don't let his attitude stop you from succeeding or from going for your fills. And (I can't believe I'm about to say this) listen to your husband!

Thank you so much for listening. I just can't believe how this went down. Was totally not expecting this at all. But your encouragement does help. I do plan on going for my next fill with him, just to face him again. I know I am doing what I need to do just hurts that the Dr. has to talk to me this way.

[aliciab 8]

Again I feel the need to say that you are your own best advocate. The physician works for you, not the other way around. If your doctor is not supportive talk to lap band patients in your area and see if you can find one that is.

[crecia1975 4]

Ummm...your doctor is a jerk!! Everyone loses at a different rate and it sounds like you are doing fine. My doctor, or his staff, have NEVER EVER made me feel like I was going to cry. They always make me feel good when I think I'm not doing well and they would never try to make me feel bad. I had an appointment where I lost 1 lb from the previous month and I was so sad. They cheered me up and said "you have done so well every month so don't worry about this. Let's see what happens next month." That motivated me even more and I lost 5.4 lbs by the next appointment.

You need to let your doctor know how you feel and find a new one if he continues to compare you to other patients. He needs to remember that this is not a race. It didn't take you a few months to put the weight on so it will take some time to get it off. And if all else fails just tell him to kiss your grits!!!!!!

[mynuday 1]

Thank you everyone for sharing and helping me along my way. I hope to be able to help someone out along their way, just hope they do not run into this same situation.

[Rachael 4]

I had my band placed June 6, 2 weeks after he took my gall bladder out .My first fill was July 21st and when I weighed in I had lost 26.6 lbs since pre-op. I was so excited. My clothes are getting large for me and I can certainly see and feel a differance. But, when I got in to see the Dr. for my first fill I was questioned like never before. He wanted to know why I had only lost 10 lbs since surgery and that I was not loosing like his other patients. That this was not going to work for me if I did not eat right and exercise. All this was said before I answered any questions. I got that hot feeling that comes across your back and neck and was totally mortified (like as if I were a kid) As far as I was concerned I had been doing what I was told to do. All I could do was fight back the tears. He then said a fill would not help me at all if I was not going to follow the rules. WOW! after yes siring him many times he decided to give me my first fill (can't feel any difference) wondering if he just wanted to stick me again. I left his office feeling like a failure and literally spend the next 2 days crying and depressed. It took my husband to finally shake me of this and telling me I am doing wonderful. (I thought I was doing great until this office visit)

Has anyone else been through this as well?

That really pisses me off. You are suppose to be healing not worrying about weight lost at this point. You are doing wonderful. He was lost 26 lbs. that is awesome. That guy sounds like a d***. Don't you dare let him make you feel like you aren't doing the right things. What a jerk!!! Your story is the reason why some do not want to do aftercare after getting the band. You are doing great and don't let him tell you otherwise.

[brbm6 6]

Again I feel the need to say that you are your own best advocate. The physician works for you, not the other way around. If your doctor is not supportive talk to lap band patients in your area and see if you can find one that is.

Very well said. My husband is a director at a hospital and I know there are good docs, so-so docs, and bad docs. It sounds like you got the bad doc. Speak up next time. Do not let him treat you like a child. And, it is your right to fire him if you feel he is not giving you good treatment. It sounds like he is only interested in the weight on the scale and not you. I am very sorry! Keep your chin up and keep doing what you are doing. If it was me I would begin looking for someone you think is more compatible with your personality. I would think if you found the right doc your journey would be so much more positive.

[XXXtina 0]

I suggest trying to find another dr. there are no rules saying you have to stay with the same one for post-op treatment. A good relationship with your doctor will also effect your success. Hang in there buddy!

[livingmydream 6]

Wow! I feel the same as others...find a new doctor! He is a complete jerk and is forgetting that he is working for YOU! He should be fired for his poor bedside manner. Don't give him another dime of your hard earned money (or any from your insurance). He doesn't deserve it!

[shakey88 37]

Wow.,.he is really rude. I saw my doctor for my 2 week post-op and had lost 17 pounds. He was happy about that and then told me that if I even lost another pound by next appt 3 weeks later that he would be proud of me because this is my time to heal. I have lost another 10, so we shall see what he has to say on Wed. You really need to tell him that his tone and attitude with you is unacceptable or find another doctor. This is when you need the most encouragement! Congrats on the good work!

[Melissannde 41]

Since your husband sounds really supportive, I think I'd consider taking him with me if at all possible to my next appointment. Or someone else who is supportive and not and not afraid to call BS on someone who's being a jerk. I think my DH would kick the Doc's butt for talking to me like you report yours speaking to you.

I had something almost similar happen about 6 months ago.. I had lost some since my previous appt, but not as much as I would've liked. The NP was looking at my chart and asked "what happened" and I'm like.... uh, just didn't try hard enough I guess. She said "you gained", I said, " I did NOT". There was a few moments of confusion.. and we finally figured out she had clicked on a patients name just above or below mine on the list in the laptop!!

So, there's no excuse for your doctor's bad behavior, but just maybe he had confused you with someone else for a few moments... and then was too much of a jerk to apologize and correct his mistake. I dunno.

It sounds like to me you are doing really well and if your doctor can't straighten up his act and fly right.. fire him. See the nurses for your fills or find another doc.

Best of luck to you.

[jen120 23]

I'm sorry you had this experience. It sounds like you were caught off guard. I hate when that happens and I always think of what I should have said after the event.

My doctor is very nice, but I know he is very strict about people sticking to the plan. He said this before surgery and was very adamant about it. He will not even do a fill unless you bring a printout of the last 2-3 weeks of food journals and exercise logs.

If you are not doing it already, I suggest you start logging everything you eat and every time you exercise. I use a web site called myfitnesspal.com. Many people on this site use it to track all their food and exercise. It allows you to print out your food journals and exercise logs. You can also track your measurements. Bring these with you to the next appointment. Show him that you are doing the right things, that you are losing inches. If he gives you grief, then ask him to make a suggestion in how you can improve what you are doing.

You are doing great! Sounds like you have great support! Stay strong and come here for support!! (((Hugs)))