Loved ones trying to talk you out of Lap Band Surgery.

[rachelmiller1978 3]

Has anyone experienced people they loved or cared about trying to talk them out of getting the surgery? For the most part I have had my family be completely supportive, especially my husband. I have however had a couple friends, 1 heavy like me and 1 skinny twig, try and talk me out of having this surgery. I didn't just decide this on a whim and have battled obesity my whole life and researched this procedure for a year. I am now in my early thirties and have 4 kids that I want to be healthy for and be active enough to keep up with. If someone has had this issue how did you deal with it?

[Cindy C 150]

Has your heavy friend done the research? If the answer is no then I would tell her "Thanks for your concern but I'm doing what I feel is best for me and my family. I hope I can count on your support." Could be that she is jealous and afraid your weight loss will change your friendship with her. As for the twig, tell her what I told my twig friend that was against it: "Go gain 150 pounds, carry it around for a couple decades and then come back and see me. Maybe then your opinion will count!" The people who truly count in your life will be supportive!

[emjay 8]

Has anyone experienced people they loved or cared about trying to talk them out of getting the surgery? For the most part I have had my family be completely supportive, especially my husband. I have however had a couple friends, 1 heavy like me and 1 skinny twig, try and talk me out of having this surgery. I didn't just decide this on a whim and have battled obesity my whole life and researched this procedure for a year. I am now in my early thirties and have 4 kids that I want to be healthy for and be active enough to keep up with. If someone has had this issue how did you deal with it?

My parents were - I guess you could say not so encouraging. They knew I could lose the weight because I did in the past, however, my issue was with keeping it off and the deprivation that would inevitably cause me to go back to old habits. I've had some people make comments that they would never have surgery, but yet again, that's their choice. Nobody knows what it's like to live YOUR life and how YOU feel about your weight. If you are at a point where surgery is the best option for you - go for it. As long as you're making an informed decision and know all the good, bad and the ugly about the experience and still want to do it - don't let anyone stop you.

That being said...it's WORK! To get the weight off, to maintain the weight loss, to change your eating habits and relationship with food. It's very difficult - but not impossible. Personally, I will always struggle with food. It's a combination of my childhood, past experience, current influences, and my own demons. But I own it and I work at it. Somedays are relatively easy, some I fail miserably. But all in all - it is much easier when the hunger factor is gone and you see results from your work. I wish I could tell you exactly what it is that helps me stay on the path (for the most part). It is partly the decrease in hunger, the ability of your mind to finally catch up to your body and just realize that the amount of food you eat is really what a somewhat "normal" portion size should be, looking better, feeling better, etc. But it's much more than that.

My best advice is to go with your gut (no pun intended) on the surgery and after your healing stage, concentrate on eating healthier. It will help you to lessen the amount of hair loss and help you feel better. And get moving. That is the key. I don't like exercise, never have, but I do it. And I tell myself I do it for all of those people that can't. Like my parents, a friend of mine with serious arthritis, my in-laws, and all those folks who wish they could just walk down the street. If I don't want to end up with the hereditary medical conditions that plague our family, I needed to make serious changes.

I wish you all the best. I truly do. Don't let those that are ignorant of what the lap band can do for you deter you from reaching your goals.

mj

[rachelmiller1978 3]

Thanks guys for the encouragement and I am having my procedure done whether certain people agree with it or not. My husband and the rest of my family are very supportive and I am very thankful for that.

[jsea 3]

I have had mixed emotions from my family. I am a self pay so a number of my family members think it's rediculous for me to pay $18,000 to lose weight. My mother however, has been extremely supportive and says "it's what makes you happy that counts". And she knows that being thin and healthy is the most imporatant thing to me right now. I am 5'8" and have a BMI of 35. I have decided that regardless of what my friends and family think and/or say, this is all about me. It's my life and my choice. I know in the end it will be so worth it. It's time to get healthy!!!!!!!!!! Try not to listen to everyone else's opinion, all that matters is how you feel!!!

[54Shirley 105]

My Husbands Family thought I was crazy to want to have this done. People close to the Family, a few of them had RNY, regained the weight, then died of Kidney Failure.

Another One died to Mal absorption, so she starved to Death.

So they had it confused with RNY.So I waited till they past on because it was such a big thing......

Now the Husband knows it is the best thing . The compliments from him are nice too.

But yep ! I been there.

[Mason33 0]

My husband wasn't supportive, but my mother was. After the surgery, my husband has been very supportive and my mom made a chocolate cake last night and steak for me tonight. She kept saying one bite isn't going to hurt, but I know better. Besides, I am only 5 days post op and still on liquids and she knows that. I guess I have to learn to deal with this now because there will always be people out there sabotaging us mostly because they are jealous. If my friends do that then the way I see it is that they really weren't my friends to begin with. Since it's family, I'm kinda stuck, LOL. But I will not let her get to me:)

[anewchapter 0]

My parents were - I guess you could say not so encouraging. They knew I could lose the weight because I did in the past, however, my issue was with keeping it off and the deprivation that would inevitably cause me to go back to old habits. I've had some people make comments that they would never have surgery, but yet again, that's their choice. Nobody knows what it's like to live YOUR life and how YOU feel about your weight. If you are at a point where surgery is the best option for you - go for it. As long as you're making an informed decision and know all the good, bad and the ugly about the experience and still want to do it - don't let anyone stop you.

mj

My parents are also not very supportive with this process and my decision. My Dad is trying, in fact he offered to drive me to and from surgery, but he has issues with it. My Mom basically doesn't say anything

I will keep reminding myself:

It's my decision.....not theirs!

This is for me.....not for them!

[54Shirley 105]

You got it ! Now believe it all the way to your soul,

[Cocoabean 430]

I kept trying to respond last night, but something was wrong with my connection.

My response is usually along the lines of..Thank you for your concern for me. My decision might not be right for you, but after my research, I have decided it is right for me.

No one can argue with the logic that a decision is right for you. They are not in your skin or brain. Just as when I asked a co-worked to trade shifts and her response was, "no, that won't work for me." I knew she didn't have anything going on at the time I needed to be not working, but I could not argue with her (not that I would have anyway). It was, a perfect response...

[rachelmiller1978 3]

I am very fortunate when it comes to most of the important people in my life. My husband is very supportive, we have been together for 12 years and he is my biggest fan and best friend. My parents, sister and a couple close friends have been extremely supportive. I was just stuck on stupid when my oldest friend, whom is heavy herself, was not as supportive as I thought she would be. Besides reciting all the risk of surgery and the risks that can happen after surgery, She actually asked why I wasn't worried that it was going to screw up my marriage. My marriage isn't perfect but its a very strong marriage and certainly not strong because I am fat! LOL. She said she worked with a woman, whom after she lost over 100lbs after WLS her husband left her because he wasn't "needed" after 30 years of marriage. I don't know what kind of marriage they had but I am a military wife, which means majority of the time I do everything....right down to changing oil on the cars when husband is gone. I think I am hurt by this and now feel I can't share my experience with her.

[Kami172000 16]

my husband is semi supportive he wants me to do it but he doesnt want to wait and go through the 6 months of weight management bc he wants a baby right now. my parents are happy im finally doing something about my weight but i have had one person(who is a body builder) tell me to lose it on my own... ok easy for you!!

skinny people dont understand bc they are lucky to be skinny and healthy and over weight people are jealous they arent going to be as healthy and looking good.

[cakegirl 12]

My mum, dad and husband have been very supportive. I've had a couple of friends be not so supportive, but I've cut them short with something pretty direct like "Look, I'd rather not have to spend all my time justifying my decision. Can we just agree that I've done the research and made my decision, and leave it at that?" I haven't had a single negative comment from anyone after I've said that to them.