Used to being the "fat friend"

[crash878905 2]

Hi everyone I was banded on 7/6/11. This journey is still so new to me (clearly, haha). I'm down about 20 lbs so far, that's including my preop diet loss. I am happy to say I'm already noticing a difference in my confidence. For example, I showed 3 people my incisions. I know you're probably thinking good God woman why would you do that?! Never in a million years would I ever pull up my shirt! I wasn't just showing anyone, it was a friend, but still, I hope you get the point lol.

Most of my friends don't know that I've had surgery, and I hope they don't think I'm blowing them off when I say I can't go out to eat with the, or out to bars yet. etc.

It's got me thinking... when I do start going out with my friends, how do I learn NOT to be the fat friend? Hopefully I'll no longer have to pretend I'm texting when my friends get picked up and I'm standing there awkwardly? How did you guys and girls change your frame of mind? Does it change? Advice?

[brbm6 6]

I have been thinking about this quite a bit. But am sorry to say I have no answer. I guess we will just have to learn a new normal. As for the lifting up your shirt, hilarious!!!!!

[Bandedkarebear 0]

O my goodness I do the texting thing too! Lol it may have been just me but even when I lost a lot of weight the first time, I still did that. I think as you lose weight you gain confidence and you don't even think about the title that others give to you. Either way your going to feel great about yourself but awkward moment happen to everyone you just may not care as much about them in the future.....the futures bright love,enjoy! Best of luck to you! keep in touch

[TracyW2 137]

I still feel like the fat friend, even though I very much am not. Your confidence grows with each pound that you shed. So that definitely helps.

[Cypanther 0]

I feel like i'm branded with the "fat friend" mentality. I totally remember the first time lifting my shirt to show the incision. I've learned that as the weight come's off I tend to let the "fat friend" diminsh slowly and remember it's all about you and not anyone else. Accept the new you and embrace the ride cause it''s a whole new you.

Keep lifting the shirt... (no sexual inuedo meant)

[Hopeful to be full 11]

I wasn't always heavy and now I'm a fat friend. For most of my life I was the hot friend that got all the guys, and now no guys look at me. I've lost all my confidence and sense of self. I am getting banded partially so I can feel like a real person again, and partly because I now have health problems. I just wonder how I can life six more months in this inflated body!! help! impatient!

[crash878905 2]

I am getting banded partially so I can feel like a real person again, and partly because I now have health problems.

That is exactly why I got banded... and after being banded for a little over 2 weeks now, I already feel better about my body. I'm still no Victoria Beckham (nor would I want to be as small as her) but I'm liking myself a little more each day.

Patience my dear, it'll come!

[crash878905 2]

I feel like i'm branded with the "fat friend" mentality. I totally remember the first time lifting my shirt to show the incision. I've learned that as the weight come's off I tend to let the "fat friend" diminsh slowly and remember it's all about you and not anyone else. Accept the new you and embrace the ride cause it''s a whole new you.

Keep lifting the shirt... (no sexual inuedo meant)

I'm hoping that with time the ft friend mentality will slowly go away... hahaha and yes, I will keep showing off those incisions! lol

[crash878905 2]

O my goodness I do the texting thing too! Lol it may have been just me but even when I lost a lot of weight the first time, I still did that. I think as you lose weight you gain confidence and you don't even think about the title that others give to you. Either way your going to feel great about yourself but awkward moment happen to everyone you just may not care as much about them in the future.....the futures bright love,enjoy! Best of luck to you! keep in touch

the texting move works like a charm lol when were you banded? are you just maintaing now or still losing?

[crash878905 2]

I have been thinking about this quite a bit. But am sorry to say I have no answer. I guess we will just have to learn a new normal. As for the lifting up your shirt, hilarious!!!!!

We're in this together... at least I'm not the only one wondering if I'll be the fat friend!

[crash878905 2]

Just another thing to add... I don't mind not being the thinnest friend of my group... I like my booty, and my boobs (all though they are the first part of me where I noticed weight loss!) and my curves! I just don't want my curves to have curves lol

[Bandedkarebear 0]

I was banded on July 1st I lost 20 pounds by my 10th day post op then I stopped, even gained 2 pounds, those 2 lbs came and went for about the next 4 days then 2 days ago I started losing again, I'm now down 2 more lbs....thank god the scale started moving down again! So that's 22 pounds in 20 days post op. How about you? How is everything going? What is easy and hard for you right now? Are you hungry? Anything difficult for you with the new way we have to live? Best wishes and all the luck in the world to you!

the texting move works like a charm lol when were you banded? are you just maintaing now or still losing?

[Bandedkarebear 0]

Lol just saw this...awesome!!!! Amen sister!! Curves on curves is not the business! Even when I was thinner before i never lost my big ol booty and I liked that and so does my husband! So roc those curves proudly I'm sure a lot of women would love to have what you have working for you! Can't wait to get to where we wanna be....healthier,happier sexier! :)cheers!!!

Just another thing to add... I don't mind not being the thinnest friend of my group... I like my booty, and my boobs (all though they are the first part of me where I noticed weight loss!) and my curves! I just don't want my curves to have curves lol

[ChelseaM 1]

I'm so glad I found this topic! I'm getting my band on Saturday and was talking to my mom today about how I want to be able to go to a bar with my "thin friends" and just not stand out like a sore thumb (like I do now as the fat friend) One guy that was hitting on my friends was kind enough to introduce me to the Angry Birds game on my iPhone so I would have something to do while they were all chatting and flirting. Angry birds quickly became my go to activity when we were out lol. So I'm certainly not expecting to walk into bars and be the center of attention...I don't know if I'll ever have the confidence for that but I would LOVE IT if I could be viewed as an equal and not "the fat friend that needs to be entertained" MAN do I sound bitter lol but this kind of stuff really brings down my self esteem...

[crash878905 2]

I was banded on July 1st I lost 20 pounds by my 10th day post op then I stopped, even gained 2 pounds, those 2 lbs came and went for about the next 4 days then 2 days ago I started losing again, I'm now down 2 more lbs....thank god the scale started moving down again! So that's 22 pounds in 20 days post op. How about you? How is everything going? What is easy and hard for you right now? Are you hungry? Anything difficult for you with the new way we have to live? Best wishes and all the luck in the world to you!

wow 20 lbs by your 10th day!! My preop diet started 6/22, surgery was 7/6. I'm down a total of 26.6 lbs, including the preop diet. When I went from liquids to mushies and mushies to solids, I gained 5lbs. I was very discouraged! But this week it's starting to come back off. I am much happier now that the weight is starting to go down because I was beating myself up about it a little. I kept saying BUT I'M NOT EATING THAT MUCH!!! lol I was being a little bit of a brat. Cause I was comparing my eating habits now with how I used to eat preband (which was embarrassing!)