Jealousy

[roziecakes 20]

I have encountered some of it for sure. The worst one was a "friend" (no longer) who wrote me a huge big long letter with all of these BS studies about how there's no link between weight and health, and it doesn't matter how heavy you are; and she told me that I needed to ditch the 'patriarchal barbie fantasy' (yes, she used *those exact* words). Now this lady is pretty big, and honestly, I feel like it was this kind of sick way of making her feel better about her own weight.

What kills me, is my motivation IS health, it has nothing to do with how I look. I've been with the same man for 9 years and he has always thought I was beautiful, and I've been okay with how I look even when I weighed a lot more than I do now. Barbie fantasy, my butt! I hope I NEVER look like Barbie, I just want to look like me, only healthier.

Anyhoo, that one was the worst. Fortunately, most of my friends are extremely supportive, and that's wonderful!

To the topic starter, just remind yourself that you're doing this as a gift to yourself and your family; a healthier happier you that is going to live a longer healthier life! If someone is jealous, remember that's their insecurity, and their problem, and not yours. Good luck to you in your journey!!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I have encountered some of it for sure. The worst one was a "friend" (no longer) who wrote me a huge big long letter with all of these BS studies about how there's no link between weight and health, and it doesn't matter how heavy you are; and she told me that I needed to ditch the 'patriarchal barbie fantasy' (yes, she used *those exact* words). Now this lady is pretty big, and honestly, I feel like it was this kind of sick way of making her feel better about her own weight.

What kills me, is my motivation IS health, it has nothing to do with how I look. I've been with the same man for 9 years and he has always thought I was beautiful, and I've been okay with how I look even when I weighed a lot more than I do now. Barbie fantasy, my butt! I hope I NEVER look like Barbie, I just want to look like me, only healthier.

Anyhoo, that one was the worst. Fortunately, most of my friends are extremely supportive, and that's wonderful!

To the topic starter, just remind yourself that you're doing this as a gift to yourself and your family; a healthier happier you that is going to live a longer healthier life! If someone is jealous, remember that's their insecurity, and their problem, and not yours. Good luck to you in your journey!!

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and your encouragement! As it was stated by one of the other bandsters, when we decide to make the right choice in a situation, we expose others' lack of doing so, as well as their bad habits. Kudos to you for making the right choice for you! And all the best on your journey!!

[lalida 0]

I have had friends been jealous of me being banded because a lot of my friends are also trying to loose weight as well. However they are half my size and only need to loose 10-20 lbs. Also I'm in college so I'm sure there's a difference between age group of people. I did told all of my friends about the band before I got it and started low carb diet. I lost 22 pounds and they were very supportive of me losing the weight. Once I got the band and started losing more and more weight the jealousy started. Some are supportive and some when people mention how much weight I lost they openly say that's because she has a lap band eventhough I do work my butt off in the gym to

loose the weight. I literally only get fills every 6 months or more. The band just got me to realize that I needed to live a healthier life style. You just need to kind of educate people around you and say Hey just because I have a lap band doesn't garantee that I'll loose weight. Yeah it helps but you also have to put in a lot of hard work.

[Debora Anne 3]

Couldn't have said it better myself

I'm seriously gonna break from my ladylike ways and say SCREW the haters! I had this conversation with my 9 year-old daughter yesterday. People who are happy and happy with themselves do not spend their time tearing down others. Haters are insecure and unhappy folks who cannot cope with their own problems. You go on, fellow banders, and enjoy your success.

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I have had friends been jealous of me being banded because a lot of my friends are also trying to loose weight as well. However they are half my size and only need to loose 10-20 lbs. Also I'm in college so I'm sure there's a difference between age group of people. I did told all of my friends about the band before I got it and started low carb diet. I lost 22 pounds and they were very supportive of me losing the weight. Once I got the band and started losing more and more weight the jealousy started. Some are supportive and some when people mention how much weight I lost they openly say that's because she has a lap band eventhough I do work my butt off in the gym to

loose the weight. I literally only get fills every 6 months or more. The band just got me to realize that I needed to live a healthier life style. You just need to kind of educate people around you and say Hey just because I have a lap band doesn't garantee that I'll loose weight. Yeah it helps but you also have to put in a lot of hard work.

That's one of the things I love about the band.. it's not an easy way out. It's just a tool to give you what you need. You still have to take the initiative.

Thank you for sharing your experiences! Congrats on all of your success w/lap band so far! All the best as you continue on!

[nurse535 30]

I found out that a lady I work with was trying to get the surgery and was denied by our insurance. I felt really bad because I was approved on my first try with only a high BMI and no co-morbidities, but she has co-morbidities and still got denied. I didn't know she'd been denied when I told her I'd gotten approved on my first try. She's very nice and I don't think she's upset with me but I still feel badly that she wasn't approved. They told her she'd need to gain about 35 lbs before she could be approved, but that seems crazy! What if she gains that much and then gets denied again? Then she's that much heavier! I told her to appeal the denial.

There is mainly one person in my life that I am concerned about jealousy with, and she is my cousin. She is a very jealous person by nature. I think she has always seen as as around the "same level" of attractiveness so I've never been a threat to her. But I have a feeling that if I do lose a significant amount of weight, she will become very jealous of me and it could cause a rift in our relationship. She's about 10 inches shorter than me, and she is only about 30 lbs overweight but of course 30 lbs on someone who is 5' tall is like 60 on a tall person. She has a really difficult time losing weight. I hope that it won't cause a problem for us and I'm going to try to do everything I can to prevent it. When we did Weight Watchers together I texted her on every weigh in day, but I haven't been updating her with my weigh-ins since the surgery. She also hasn't asked, which leads me to believe it's a good idea that I haven't volunteered the info.

I've been very fortunate to have a lot of support from my family and friends so far and I hope it continues! I do have one aunt who thinks I only had the surgery so I could get a man, which is funny since I could have one now if I so chose lol. I was joking with my sister the other day and said I was devastated because it'd been 4 wks since surgery and I am still single. What a waste, huh?! LOL

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I found out that a lady I work with was trying to get the surgery and was denied by our insurance. I felt really bad because I was approved on my first try with only a high BMI and no co-morbidities, but she has co-morbidities and still got denied. I didn't know she'd been denied when I told her I'd gotten approved on my first try. She's very nice and I don't think she's upset with me but I still feel badly that she wasn't approved. They told her she'd need to gain about 35 lbs before she could be approved, but that seems crazy! What if she gains that much and then gets denied again? Then she's that much heavier! I told her to appeal the denial.

There is mainly one person in my life that I am concerned about jealousy with, and she is my cousin. She is a very jealous person by nature. I think she has always seen as as around the "same level" of attractiveness so I've never been a threat to her. But I have a feeling that if I do lose a significant amount of weight, she will become very jealous of me and it could cause a rift in our relationship. She's about 10 inches shorter than me, and she is only about 30 lbs overweight but of course 30 lbs on someone who is 5' tall is like 60 on a tall person. She has a really difficult time losing weight. I hope that it won't cause a problem for us and I'm going to try to do everything I can to prevent it. When we did Weight Watchers together I texted her on every weigh in day, but I haven't been updating her with my weigh-ins since the surgery. She also hasn't asked, which leads me to believe it's a good idea that I haven't volunteered the info.

I've been very fortunate to have a lot of support from my family and friends so far and I hope it continues! I do have one aunt who thinks I only had the surgery so I could get a man, which is funny since I could have one now if I so chose lol. I was joking with my sister the other day and said I was devastated because it'd been 4 wks since surgery and I am still single. What a waste, huh?! LOL

LOL!! What a great attitude you have toward all that's happening in your life! I hope you keep that positivity! Sounds like some of the people around you could use a healthy dose of it. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! This is very encouraging and I hope to share in the celebration of your success as your journey continues!!

All the best!!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I was banded in January of 2011 and so far have lost 110 pounds this includes 30 pounds pre-op. Everyone of my friends and family know that I have had band surgery and all of them are very supportive. I am extremely proud of what I have accomplished so far and I do not hesitate to tell anyone who asks, and sometimes those that don't, how I accomplished it.

That's amazing!! Congratulations on all your success!! That is certainly something to be extremely proud of! I would probably be telling everyone if I lost that much (or when I lose that much). Thank you for sharing and all the best as you continue your journey!!

[roziecakes 20]

I was banded in January of 2011 and so far have lost 110 pounds this includes 30 pounds pre-op. Everyone of my friends and family know that I have had band surgery and all of them are very supportive. I am extremely proud of what I have accomplished so far and I do not hesitate to tell anyone who asks, and sometimes those that don't, how I accomplished it.

I wanted to tell you that I find your progress to be extremely inspirational. I also have a large amount to lose, and I can't wait until twoderville myself! Congratulations!

[livingmydream 6]

As I have gotten older, I have realized that since we only go around once in this lifetime, we should not and do not have to subject ourselves to rude, ignorant, jealous or mean people! If someone makes me feel bad, it is because I have allowed them to do that to me. I used to be what I considered a "doormat" friend who would let so called "friends" dictate how I lived my life. I am so over that!

Each and everyone who has a weight problem has dealt with enough crap in their lifetime, so we all need to "grow some" and stop allowing these leeches to suck the life out of us! We are good people and worthy of positive influences in all aspects of our lives. We have put up with enough throughout our lives, by being the butt of jokes, teasing, etc.

Let's make a commitment to clean up our "friends" list and kick the ones to the curb who don't support us and think they know what's best for us.

[trish151 33]

I didn't think I would experience any jelousy because my family knows I have struggled with my weight all of my life. Unfortunately, I ran into it two weeks ago. I have an older sister and a younger sister and when we were younger, they were always thin and I wasn't. They used to tease me so bad and it hurt. Now, they are overweight too. I didn't know how much they weighed but I knew we were all close. My oldest sister came to see me last week and brought me some clothes she said she couldn't wear anymore. She's lost 40 lbs, she claims and I could tell she had lost some. I was so happy she was losing too because I know how hard it is. Long story short, I have lost 53 lbs and was feeling so good about that until she got here. When I opened the bag of clothes she wanted me to have, I found that they were a size 22 and size 20. I told her they were too big but I apprecited it. She kept telling me they were too big for her too and said that she was wearing a size 18. Which is what I am wearing. I just wanted to cry because as I looked at her I kept thinking that if I were still that big that I didn't feel it and my heart was just sad. I felt like I had been working out all of this time and I still looked so big too if we were wearing the same size. I know we carry our weight differently. Mine is in my butt and hips and hers is around the middle but I didn't see any way we were wearing the same size. She never said how much she weighed but I just kept saying no way. Then I did something sneaky. (I know and I felt bad) but when she went to the store, I went into the room she was staying in and I looked through her suitcase to see what size pants she was wearing. I felt really bad about doing it but I found out she was wearing a size 24 and not 18. The thing that hurt my feelings was that she had to lie about it. I just don't understand that. She knew where I started at 263 lbs. She also knows how much I have struggled to get this off, even with the band. In all honesty, I am losing weight for vanity reasons and because I have felt bad about myself and the way I have felt I looked and I was sick of it. I am also getting older and I have not had any health problems and I don't want any associated with being over weight. I am at a point in my life where I have been through so many bad things that I want to feel better and look better and have a better self esteem. As crappy as that may be, it's the truth. I slipped on a pair of 16 jeans today and they wouldn't button, but I got them up and buttoned is just my next goal. I am seeing my legs look better and I'm making little muscles in my arms and jelousy, or no jelousy, I'm getting this off this time. I've carried all of my emotional hurt in my body for too long and at 40 years of age, I've discovered that people are going to like me or not and it has very little to do with my weight.