Jealousy

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

Hello Everyone!

I posted a comment on my page about how happy I've been and how much it's starting to get on people's nerves.. all the more because most of them don't know why I'm happy. One of the lovely young women on here commented on my status and said (and I'm paraphrasing here) how her friends get jealous and tell her she's losing too much weight.. too skinny, etc. I have not been banded just yet, but I found this interesting because I've been receiving so much support, I haven't thought about anyone being (or possibly being) jealous of me.

I was just curious as to some of the things you guys and gals have encountered, after having been banded, where people are jealous of you or have tried to discourage you? Some of the best ways you deal w/it? ..especially if it comes from family/friends.. I'm very close to mine and I don't know what I would do if they were jealous of me or tried to discourage me from going after this.

Any thoughts?

[momof3armybrats 1]

Hello! I have not really dealt with the jealousy aspect but I do have one friend who constantly tries to discourage me and has even quit hanging out as much. She is suppose to be a very close friend and the moment I told her that I was having the surgery the comments started. Most of them were along the lines of you can do it on your own, you dont need to take the easy way out. I got really upset with her and told her how it was. I told her either she support me like a real friend is suppose to or walk away. This is my life, not hers. Plus I have become a pro at losing weight but I always manage to put it back on. I am tired of the yo-yo and this seemed to be the best way out of it for me. To this day she still calls me and shoves all these fad diets at me, saying if you had just done this and this you wouldnt have needed surgery. Her latest is some green tea diet. LOL I was like whatever in a year or two when I am at my goal weight and your still b*tching cuz your fat, I dont wanna hear it. I have kinda put up a wall between her and I. I know that is probably not the right thing to do but I am done listening to it. I wish you well with your family and friends. She is the only one who has been negative about it. Most everybody has been very supportive. Good luck on your journey!! It is going to be a wild and crazy ride with a wonderful outcome!!!

Hello Everyone!

I posted a comment on my page about how happy I've been and how much it's starting to get on people's nerves.. all the more because most of them don't know why I'm happy. One of the lovely young women on here commented on my status and said (and I'm paraphrasing here) how her friends get jealous and tell her she's losing too much weight.. too skinny, etc. I have not been banded just yet, but I found this interesting because I've been receiving so much support, I haven't thought about anyone being (or possibly being) jealous of me.

I was just curious as to some of the things you guys and gals have encountered, after having been banded, where people are jealous of you or have tried to discourage you? Some of the best ways you deal w/it? ..especially if it comes from family/friends.. I'm very close to mine and I don't know what I would do if they were jealous of me or tried to discourage me from going after this.

Any thoughts?

[papoose 48]

After losing about 80 lbs someone in my office told a good friend of mine that I had become cocky. I said oh well I have been working very hard to lose this weight. So I have now cut her off my list of people I talk to in the office. On the other hand my family and good friends are very supportive and I hear the skinny comments all the time, but I think they are happy that I have finally took the weight off. So don't worry about what the naysayers say. Good luck to you and I am sure you will do very well.

[Ro-Jae327 4]

I was banded 6/17 and have lost 22 lbs. I have a co-worker who always makes comments like, " you have to drink that? Yuck! that's gross" or " Is that all you can have roday" . I know its a little jealousy. But it's ok. As our bodies change, our personalities don't. You still are the same person, just smaller. Good luck on your journey!

[brbm6 6]

After losing about 80 lbs someone in my office told a good friend of mine that I had become cocky. I said oh well I have been working very hard to lose this weight. So I have now cut her off my list of people I talk to in the office. On the other hand my family and good friends are very supportive and I hear the skinny comments all the time, but I think they are happy that I have finally took the weight off. So don't worry about what the naysayers say. Good luck to you and I am sure you will do very well.

I agree OH WELL! We are doing this for our health and if someone wants to become a little cocky after loosing a bunch of weight then more power to them! My family and friends have been super supportive. I am lucky. I haven't heard any negative comments yet. But, I wouldn't listen anyway............I feel so much better (health wise and emotionally).

[Beachy_Babs 5]

Good post. I've been banded since beginning of May and have lost almost 40 lbs.

No one in my family or group of friends know that I have had the band, except for my husband.

I do not make it obvious in any way therefore no one has suspected anything.

However, my portion size has gone down by nearly 80% of what I used to eat. I have had comments from friends such as, "That's ALL you're going to eat? Quit lying to yourself. You know you want the food." And I just say, "Actually, no I don't. I'm satisfied with what I ate, trust me."

Before, I would hardly shop for myself clothes-wise. Now, I can't stop wanting to buy cute summer

dresses and my 18-year old cousin said, "Ugh, you think you're down 35 lbs and you could wear anything now. It's ONLY 35 lbs."

I know there's jealousy and people are getting used to my new lifestyle.

It's human nature to react like this so I don't fault anyone. I don't say much, but I know

those who are genuinely happy for me regardless if they know I had surgery or not.

It's the fact that I'm working out consistently, eating healthy and staying positive.

[spoiltmom 44]

I've encountered a few people who didn't think it was FAIR for me to be banded because I wasn't what they considered overweight. Oh well! My insurance paid for it so obviously I was big enough.

[spoiltmom 44]

Oh I meant to say the comments I received were from banded people that either had to pay cash for their band or are not getting the results I am.

[windycitywids 5]

As we all know misery loves company and people can get quite testy when they think you've gotten something for nothing. I just encountered someone commenting on my lunch at work yesterday she said wow that's a meager looking lunch. I had a small green salad with spinach about 3 cherry tomatoes some mushrooms with about a tablespoon of chicken salad and just a bit more of tuna salad. I thought it was pretty lush. She said kind of off handed you're losing a lot of weight you look good. I knew she was seething behind those words as she has just been ballooning up over the past year. She was jealous of me. I couldn't believe it.

Sometimes it's hard for them to imagine that getting banded is a lot harder to do then it looks. Even if they are close to you and see the day to day struggles you go thru. I just said thanks it's been a battle and left it at that. Moral of the story, don't let anyone rain on your parade.

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

Hello! I have not really dealt with the jealousy aspect but I do have one friend who constantly tries to discourage me and has even quit hanging out as much. She is suppose to be a very close friend and the moment I told her that I was having the surgery the comments started. Most of them were along the lines of you can do it on your own, you dont need to take the easy way out. I got really upset with her and told her how it was. I told her either she support me like a real friend is suppose to or walk away. This is my life, not hers. Plus I have become a pro at losing weight but I always manage to put it back on. I am tired of the yo-yo and this seemed to be the best way out of it for me. To this day she still calls me and shoves all these fad diets at me, saying if you had just done this and this you wouldnt have needed surgery. Her latest is some green tea diet. LOL I was like whatever in a year or two when I am at my goal weight and your still b*tching cuz your fat, I dont wanna hear it. I have kinda put up a wall between her and I. I know that is probably not the right thing to do but I am done listening to it. I wish you well with your family and friends. She is the only one who has been negative about it. Most everybody has been very supportive. Good luck on your journey!! It is going to be a wild and crazy ride with a wonderful outcome!!!

"LOL I was like whatever in a year or two when I am at my goal weight and your still b*tching cuz your fat, I dont wanna hear it."

LOOOL!!!!!!!!! That is awesome!

Thank you for posting this! All the best on your journey as well!!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

Good post. I've been banded since beginning of May and have lost almost 40 lbs.

No one in my family or group of friends know that I have had the band, except for my husband.

I do not make it obvious in any way therefore no one has suspected anything.

However, my portion size has gone down by nearly 80% of what I used to eat. I have had comments from friends such as, "That's ALL you're going to eat? Quit lying to yourself. You know you want the food." And I just say, "Actually, no I don't. I'm satisfied with what I ate, trust me."

Before, I would hardly shop for myself clothes-wise. Now, I can't stop wanting to buy cute summer

dresses and my 18-year old cousin said, "Ugh, you think you're down 35 lbs and you could wear anything now. It's ONLY 35 lbs."

I know there's jealousy and people are getting used to my new lifestyle.

It's human nature to react like this so I don't fault anyone. I don't say much, but I know

those who are genuinely happy for me regardless if they know I had surgery or not.

It's the fact that I'm working out consistently, eating healthy and staying positive.

Wow..that's amazing! 40lbs only almost 2mths! Congratulations! I wasn't going to tell anyone.. but I am really tight w/my family and I didn't want to do this without their support. I don't have any regrets in telling them and it's been nothing but positive feedback and support..so I know I'm blessed in that. And you're comment about "human nature" is very spot on. That's a great attitude to have toward these types of situations!

Thank you for sharing!

All the best as you continue your journey!

P.S. Don't stop buying your cute outfits! you've earned them!!

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

As we all know misery loves company and people can get quite testy when they think you've gotten something for nothing. I just encountered someone commenting on my lunch at work yesterday she said wow that's a meager looking lunch. I had a small green salad with spinach about 3 cherry tomatoes some mushrooms with about a tablespoon of chicken salad and just a bit more of tuna salad. I thought it was pretty lush. She said kind of off handed you're losing a lot of weight you look good. I knew she was seething behind those words as she has just been ballooning up over the past year. She was jealous of me. I couldn't believe it.

Sometimes it's hard for them to imagine that getting banded is a lot harder to do then it looks. Even if they are close to you and see the day to day struggles you go thru. I just said thanks it's been a battle and left it at that. Moral of the story, don't let anyone rain on your parade.

Wow! You're absolutely right.. (something for nothing) .. it's all about perception though. Like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. Thank you for sharing! And I will remember that moral: This is a no-rain parade! LoL!

All the best on the continuance of your journey!!

[Kate rules 43]

I'm seriously gonna break from my ladylike ways and say SCREW the haters! I had this conversation with my 9 year-old daughter yesterday. People who are happy and happy with themselves do not spend their time tearing down others. Haters are insecure and unhappy folks who cannot cope with their own problems. You go on, fellow banders, and enjoy your success.

[SumthinsGottaGive 35]

I'm seriously gonna break from my ladylike ways and say SCREW the haters! I had this conversation with my 9 year-old daughter yesterday. People who are happy and happy with themselves do not spend their time tearing down others. Haters are insecure and unhappy folks who cannot cope with their own problems. You go on, fellow banders, and enjoy your success.

VERY well said!! *applause* Thank you for the encouragement!!

[Kate rules 43]

You all are quite welcome. Love others, encourage others, Celebrate successes of your own and well as others. Let's bring positive things into others lives and spread the wealth.