Body Image Issues

[Apryl Showers 0]

How many of you have accepted your new size? I am really having issues with this. WHen I first saw pictures of myself taken the day before surgery I couldn't beleive my eyes because I never thought I was THAT HEAVY. Now that I have had my surgery and am down to a size 14/16 I have issues accepting that. When I go shopping I still to go the plus sized department first (I actually had a salesgirl at Lane Bryant tell me that they were a plus size store and she didn't think I would find anything that would fit me), and when I go to misses I can't even pick anything out because I think it will never fit. Or I always pick up the largest size first.

My husband tells me I am obsessed because I am always asking him to compare me to other women in public...like is my butt bigger or smaller than hers, or am I thinner or fatter than her.

I always wonder if I am going to fit in a chair or through a small opening etc.

Does this ever go away? Will I ever get used to myself? I know I am only six months out but I know I am driving my husband (and myself) crazy.

I don't want to become obsessed with my weight but....

Anyway.......thanks for your replies.

[Anwyn 0]

I hear you! You've lost a LOT of weight in a short time. I was banded right about the same time, and I'm going through the same thing. I still grab for the size 22/24's in my closet, and there are many 3X shirts that I have yet to put in the eBay pile. It's not that I think I'll gain weight back, it's that I still see myself as that size. I've stalled on the weight loss this past month, and I've come to the conclusion that my brain needed a break to catch up with my body.

It'll be interesting to read the responses from the more experienced bandsters because I've been wondering the same thing myself... Will weight always be an obsession for us? Cause I'm sooooo sick of thinking about it.

By the way - I think getting kicked out of Lane Bryant is one of the coolest NSV's I've ever read! You're doing a great job!

[Apryl Showers 0]

Lol...yeah your right I guess....getting kicked out was pretty cool. Although I have to admit that some of their stuff is much prettier than what I am seeing in the rest of the stores, and I wish they made smaller sizes....or had a thinner (less fat) version of their store.

Congratulations to you as well...and keep up tthe awesome work!

[Parvathi 2]

I'm pretty sure I too, will always suffer from body image issues. I am seeing a psychologist (only just started) regarding this, anxiety issues and self esteem crap.

My hubby hears it all the time too and reckons that weightloss is my newest obsession. I've just finished a book on tape, called, When food is Love that was quite good. Its about compulsive eating/dieting. The author was an abused child, which I thankfully, can't relate to .. but alot of it really hit home.

Good luck with it all ...

[Dody 0]

Lane-Bryant sizes start at 14. I would be thrilled to get into a 14 again. They have some nice clothes, but I find them expensive. I prefer Blair, and their clothing comes in all sizes too.

[Apryl Showers 0]

Do they have a website? I love to look at clothes....just hate to buy and try them on.

[Alexandra 55]

Time heals all, ladies. As for the clothing confusion, a friend of mine recommends shopping therapy. Go to the mall but leave your purse in the car. There's no pressure to buy, just go in and try, try, try! You will come out with a better understanding of your size and the way you look in the mirror.

And yes, you can stop thinking about your weight if you want to. If you have real trouble, professional therapy can really help. Replacing one unhealthy behavior with another is no way to improve the situation.

[Jill_S 1]

Blair has a website: blair.com - I used to buy the stirup pants that were the staple of my wardrobe from them.

I hear ya on the body issues, loud and clear. Before going to see my husband at NY's, I went through my closet and about half the stuff I thought would *never* fit, actually did. I can't judge it at all. I don't think I look any different.

As far as lane bryant goes, they are pricey, but their jeans RULE - always have. Their Talls actually are Talls, and I need that! I find an occasional sweater or shirt there that looks good on me, but some of their clothes are just - weird. Their bras and underwear though are the best I've found for plus size, and they have lingerie sometimes that isn't butt-ugly.

[I'llsucceed 1]

I have a bad body image but mine is a little different. I know that I have lost over 30 pds so far & I am thankful but I look in the mirror & think "Lordy I am HUGE." My clothes are still all the same for the most part but when I finally do reach a size 14, I already have many pants that I've kept to fit into. Also size 12 's I have from the past.

Here is the twisted part - when I look at the 14's a part of me say" I can't wait to pull them on & losely." But than a bigger part of me say" Gosh you were so fat back than too! Remember how mad you were when you were a14 & how fat you were?" I hate that I feel that way. BUT I clearly remember being a size 12 at one point & feeling FAT. When I was a large 10 is when I felt for (my body type) that was the ultimate. But I was stilll the largest out of all my friends. Of course I was much younger!;0) Today I have friends of all sizes but would still have to tackel this head demond daily.

On a even more personal note- I would rather tackel that demond at a size 10 or 12 than a 16;0)

[Dutchgrl59 2]

What a great idea.... shopping therapy. Alexandra, you're such a smart girl! You're input is invaluable :kiss2:

[Apryl Showers 0]

I know how you feel I'llsucceed.....I still have size 12's and 14's in my closet and I think the same thing...hardly wait till they are loose...but at the same time I remember feeling fat when I was in them before. Will I feel that way again or will I be able to accept the fact that I am healthy and that is all that matters? It is such a strange throught process...my husband asks why I can't just be happy and be done with it...he doesn't understand that this isn't just a physical experience but a mental one too.

[kimalicious 5]

I am the same way. I keep taking pictures of myslef with a digital camera in different outfits next to people so I can see what I look like compared to them. I'm a freak! I just don't feel smaller even though I have gone from 24-16, I think it doesn't help that all of the stores have thier sizes different. So you get all excited about fitting into a 14 somewhere and then yo hit a different store and it is an 18 that fits perfect. WHo knows what size we actually are!

THat was one of my biggest goals when I started this was to never shop at Layne Bryant again, but you are so right I have looked and looked and keep going back to them due to style and fit. I guess at these sizes we are stuck in the middle, don't wanna shop at Lane Bryant and cant get into The Limited yet. My biggest problem now is the belly hang. I still can't wear cute short shirts because it always hangs below them. I can't wait to hit my goal weight and have it wacked off so I can wear the nice cute clothes.

[spldgrl 0]

Sorry to say, but I am glad to hear that this issue is affecting others. I cant even tell I've lost 79 lbs. yes, clothes size is 14 not 22, different deptartmetn all together but I head to the plus size. and think, Man they have some cute clothes here. I wondered if part was that the "cute" clothes I wanted to fit in are no longer around. like levi straight leg jeans always wanted to fit in those not since 9th grade, now, daughter says NO not in style staight legs yuck! I feel healthier, can actually use the treadmill for more than 10 minutes and feel good when on it!, but can't mentally picture what I've lost.

A friend printed pics of me pre and post and there is a small difference to me and hugh to others, why cant I see it? Am I afraid of the sabotage I did in past diets, " lost 5 lbs now I can eat crap then gain it back??" I don't knowhy, but alteast I AM normal.

For Old Navy, at this time I would tell you they run big, just bought 14's there and they fit, truth is they run pretty tru to size for me other clothes at dillards also a 14 so? your right, each body type different.

Thanks for making me feel normal, as normal I as can be haha

[spldgrl 0]

Hey Kim,

for belly fat, I heard of a new challenge, see if it works I'm on day 5 -

lay on back feet in the air, raise feet to ceiling using stomach - 3 sets of 12- 3 count rest between - 3 times a week for 1 month and you should tone up 1 clothing size. so I am gonna try it what the heck anything to save a few buck on a tummy tuck! boob job first! haha

[Alexandra 55]

As far as lane bryant goes, they are pricey, but their jeans RULE - always have. Their Talls actually are Talls, and I need that!

Jill, this is a real challenge for me too. I've found that Lee Riders (available at Wal-Mart) fit the best. I'm in a 16L and they are long enough in the legs while fitting perfectly at the top. Not to mention they're only $19.99! I love 'em.