I just have to vent...

[Apryl Showers 0]

Two things I need to vent about...and I am wondering if anyone else maybe feels the same way...

1. Why is it that people feel it is ok to ask you what you weighed prior to surgery and/or how much weight you have lost? Why do they feel they need to know specific numbers? It is obvious that the amount I have lost is significant....I just don't get it.

2. I have a very close friend who had the lapband about a year before I did. When I told her I was having it done she was very supportive. When she was losing her weight I always commented on how great she looked and congratulated her on her progress. Well now that I have had my surgery she never says anything to me at all. I guess it's not that big of a deal but it hurts my feelings a bit.

Ok....I lied...theres more than 2....

3. It drives me nuts when I go out to eat with family and friends and they start taking food off my plate because "You can't eat that much...." At least wait until I finish eating....chances are I am going to offer it to you anyway!

Ok...I am done!

[3labsrus 0]

I'm sorry that your friend isn't giving you the support that you gave her. I can understand why your feelings would be hurt. My would in the same situation.

I never tell people what I weighed before or now. I'll say how much I lost, but that's it.

[Dragonwillow 0]

I was just complaining about this at my lapband meeting today. People can get almost smothering in asking "how much have you lost?" too often. I even have some that get the look like......thats all? LOL I told everyone I was having the surgery...so I open myself up to alot of this. Even my boss said when I told her I was going to schedule a fill. "Good, looks like you can eat alot" Geez, I even say that I can eat alot, but no one else is allowed to say it! LOL

Melissa

[sunsett 2]

Tell them to get thier paws off your plate!!! It is still your food and you have every right to hang on to it s long as you'd like!

People in the begining asked me alot what I had lost and I told them I really don't know. I have lost a few sizes in clothing, but I don't keep track of the scale. It drives some nuts, but OH WELL!!! Soon they stop asking.

Sorry about your friend I know that must hurt. I have a friend who said to me well you know you could have saved yourself from the surgery and just done it all your self....errr....NO, that is not true! Years of failure have proven that!

[Alexandra 55]

1. Why is it that people feel it is ok to ask you what you weighed prior to surgery and/or how much weight you have lost? Why do they feel they need to know specific numbers? It is obvious that the amount I have lost is significant....I just don't get it.

Apryl, you are not alone. This is the only thing that really got me ticked, and it's only happened once. My stepmother, of all people, is the ONLY one who came right out and asked how much I weigh NOW. I was so surprised, all I could do was gape at her.

Lots of people ask how much I've lost, and I think that's an understandable question. My neighbor, whom I do not know well at all, just asked me this today--and she, like most who ask, said "if you don't mind my asking." But NO ONE else has EVER asked me either where I started or where I am now--that's just an appalling breach of etiquette and personal tact. Even my brother and husband have never asked me this, so I was really shocked when my stepmother did.

A thought on your friend: maybe she didn't necessarily appreciate your frequent comments about her progress, and by staying silent about yours she thinks she's doing you a favor? If so, I'm like her--I'd much rather have people say nothing than bring it up frequently. My best friends know that I've never liked talking about my weight, and being smaller has not changed that.

[Wheetsin 714]

1. I've obviously not been banded, but I have asked this while on diets & losing weight. I honestly never thought twice about it. I took it as a sign of their interest in what I was doing, just like when they would ask me, "How does that diet work?" or "How long have you been on it?" Definitely to me more of a "Wow, how is it working?" question that snopping, prying, rude... whatever.

2. I would have to paste what Alexandra said in big bold letters. I'm in 100% agreement. I don't like to make any of my lifestyle choices topics of conversation. I'm a very strong introvert & prefer to remain behind the scenes whenever possible. For someone to give me that much attention would just make things unbearably uncomfortable for me. When I have friends who are needy in this regard, I have to make a conscious effort to remember to give them the compliments, and I often forget completely - only to be told later that it hurt their feelings that I wasn't more supportive.

3. Have you said something to them? A behavior isn't going to change if the people displaying the behavior don't know that it's inappropriate. In my family/friends, this would be no big deal because we're open like that. If someone wants a bite of something on my plate, they know that they're welcome to it. A friend of mine from work had RNY. There were 3 of us who would eat Breakfast & lunch together most days. The third of us, known to be a "scab" (as we called it on the west coast) eventually topped ordering their own food alltogether, assuming they would get a meal by eating what my RNY friend could not finish. THAT did bother me, but it would not bother me for someone who ordered something & wanted a bite of mine to help themselves.

Just offering some different perspectives.

[one too many 1]

So my family are not the only ones trying to take off my plate befor I have finished.Yes it is very annoying.They are like animals.One day Ill get them with a fork.

Reference to your friend I think when we are interested and starting out we do become very involved and interested in other like I was with my girlfriend.Once banned for a while it just isn't so all consuming and then there are those of us whom just don't notice when people put on or loose.

Your have done really well ..have you noticed it is usually those whom have weight issues that ask the questions..weight issuse doesn't mean they are over weight more that they have problems with the way they see weight issues.

you go girl