dropsizes 2 Posted July 7, 2011 Sorry guy's I need to vent,I am do to have my op on July 25th . I have told a few people that I work with that I am going to get the band. Now they are all the food POLICE!! They tell me what I can and cannot have. Funny how they think they know more then me. I had a coffee with no sugar some low fat cheese and low fat dressing and greens. Funny how when I had not told them about the Lap Band they would try to feed me all the time. Lol they all said to me that I do not look big and that I was crazy to get the op. What gives?? Sorry just had to vent. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ebonymc 52 Posted July 7, 2011 Sorry guy's I need to vent,I am do to have my op on July 25th . I have told a few people that I work with that I am going to get the band. Now they are all the food POLICE!! They tell me what I can and cannot have. Funny how they think they know more then me. I had a coffee with no sugar some low fat cheese and low fat dressing and greens. Funny how when I had not told them about the Lap Band they would try to feed me all the time. Lol they all said to me that I do not look big and that I was crazy to get the op. What gives?? Sorry just had to vent. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ebonymc 52 Posted July 7, 2011 I figured it would be that way if I told ppl. thats why I never did. I didnt want ppl to watch me eat and everything I eat. next month will be my 2 yr bandaversary. I was told ur not that big so why would u do that. Well, because Im type 2 diabetic and have high bp. since banding, I have come off one of the 2 pills for diabetes and one of the 2 pills for high bp. my cholesterol has never been lower and I feel better about myself. I have only lost 60 lbs but it feels like more. Im not done yet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SageTracey 608 Posted July 7, 2011 That's exactly why I didn't tell anyone outside of immediate family and one friend I knew I could trust to support me. I have found that people always judged me for being fat and I didn't want their judgement as I learned to become healthy. Remind your workmates that you have done the research and made a decision for your health, not theirs! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropsizes 2 Posted July 7, 2011 That's exactly why I didn't tell anyone outside of immediate family and one friend I knew I could trust to support me. I have found that people always judged me for being fat and I didn't want their judgement as I learned to become healthy. Remind your workmates that you have done the research and made a decision for your health, not theirs! Thank you. I find it hard to say things. I'm one of those people that will bite a whole in the inside of my cheek before saying anything. Think it is time I say something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropsizes 2 Posted July 7, 2011 That's exactly why I didn't tell anyone outside of immediate family and one friend I knew I could trust to support me. I have found that people always judged me for being fat and I didn't want their judgement as I learned to become healthy. Remind your workmates that you have done the research and made a decision for your health, not theirs! Thank you, Think it is time for me to tell them thank you but I think I can do this myself. Sounds good but think I might be afraid if I fall on my face. Thank you so much for your feed back. Stay well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jess55 97 Posted July 7, 2011 That's one reason there's only a few people that know about my surgery. I thought if I told people they'ed scrutinize what I ate. In fact my mother kind of pissed me off a couple of months ago. I met up with my dad and he took me out to dinner and I asked him what my mom had said about it (I had a feeling she would have something to say). And he told me she said, you shouldn't take her to dinner she's supposed to be on a diet. Wtf? Yeah, so until I'm at or close to goal, no one else is knowing Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropsizes 2 Posted July 7, 2011 That's one reason there's only a few people that know about my surgery. I thought if I told people they'ed scrutinize what I ate. In fact my mother kind of pissed me off a couple of months ago. I met up with my dad and he took me out to dinner and I asked him what my mom had said about it (I had a feeling she would have something to say). And he told me she said, you shouldn't take her to dinner she's supposed to be on a diet. Wtf? Yeah, so until I'm at or close to goal, no one else is knowing Thank you I know what you mean. My girls and sisters are like that and it drives me crazy. One sister is a vegan and I never tell her how to eat or that it is a poor choice to be a vegan. I just let her get on with it as it is her choice, I think this is why I like this room so much. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuckersmommy2010 4 Posted July 7, 2011 I agree. I kept mine to myself until i actually did it. A friend i recently stopped speaking to was kinda of like the posts' above. At one point during a conversation I was telling her about how i was unsure about lapband. She made the comment , " Well my mom and I were talking and we think you should wait till your older ( I'm 20!) I am pretty sure my jaw dropped to the floor. First off- What was it her mother business? Secondly- Her own mother HAS lap band!! Half of her family had lap band... All of her Uncles and Aunt... Don't let the negative people affect you. Sometimes that means cutting them out of your life as i did. She always judged me on my weight ( and she was only 20 pounds less than me. ) and she always wanted to go out to eat. She was truly a bad friend! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lifeisjustbeginning2011 11 Posted July 7, 2011 Here is how I approached the subject. I'm out of work for the summer (teacher), so the work thing wasn't an issue for me. I told only two family members and two friends. I basically told them that my decision was made, and the subject was not up for discussion at any time unless I bring it up. Everyone thinks they know what to say, how to be helpful, etc. At times I really wish that I could talk to people about my surgery (hasn't quite been a week yet), but I get most of my support right here on this board. You guys know what it is like, the daily struggles, etc. That's my two pennies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JLynn288 0 Posted July 7, 2011 Sorry guy's I need to vent,I am do to have my op on July 25th . I have told a few people that I work with that I am going to get the band. Now they are all the food POLICE!! They tell me what I can and cannot have. Funny how they think they know more then me. I had a coffee with no sugar some low fat cheese and low fat dressing and greens. Funny how when I had not told them about the Lap Band they would try to feed me all the time. Lol they all said to me that I do not look big and that I was crazy to get the op. What gives?? Sorry just had to vent. Believe me.....EVERYONE thinks they know everything. You learn real fast who your true friends are. I haven't had surgery yet but I am hoping for August. But I just talked to a few people about the possiblity of getting LapBand and started getting judged and lectured. So now I have decided "IT'S NOBODIES BUSINESS". People just don't understand that we Banders get educated and have support groups and forums for all our questions and help. We don't need our friends, loved ones, or co-workers to POLICE us. Be strong. WE ALL WILL GO THROUGH SOME TYPE OF PREJUDICE OR POLICEING!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xavier 153 Posted July 7, 2011 I really didnt tell anyone but I do see people looking at my tiny portion sizes with a look that I think means they think I lost weght by starving myself. I feel (I know this is partly just my head) that they think I am judging them because they are fat and now I'm not. Ifeel a little uncomfortable eating around people because of that but I prefer that type of uncomfortable to the uncomfortable of being obese or worse, being obese and eating around people! I feel its a good trade so I am just constantly telling myself I dont care what people think or say and hoping to convince myself! That's why I love this site because we all know the situation and have all experienced the same things. Whatever people are saying it comes from THEIR psychological head issues with food...dont get sucked into it, we all have our own to deal with right? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highland 168 Posted July 7, 2011 I only told my best friend and family members. All my family lives out of state. My best friend works with me and I wanted her to know! I think my decision was right for me. I've felt judged my whole life by what I put in my mouth NO MORE! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jess55 97 Posted July 7, 2011 I have to say I did not even tell my sister til 5 days after I had surgery. My sister can be very critical and very opinionated and I thought she'd have negative things to say. And I did not want to here it. Up until like 5 days before the surgery the only one that knew was my mother and a good friend that knew I was miserable as I was. Then my mom was like I need to tell your dad, not exactly sure why I kept it from him, but I told her to tell him. And 5 days after my surgery was Christmas, so I (or rather my mom, since I couldn't seem to say it) told my sister and her fiancé. And she didn't say anything negative. So it was fine, but for others when they ask how I'm losing the weight, I say I'm just watching what I eat and exercising. Which is really not a lie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jack 855 Posted July 7, 2011 Write off those kinds of comments as "well intended but pitifully uninformed". One of the groups of people I ran into were all concerned that they knew more than the doctors, the patient, or those on the LBT forum who all have thousands of times more experience. We live in an age where the choices seem to be live in total anonymity or having the entire town butt in to our private business. Many will seek to comfort you, and some will try to encourage you, while others are bent on sharing horrid stories that have little or nothing in common with your situation. Learning how to live in your own postOp world is part of the exciting New Life we can all construct for ourselves. Who you tell and IF your tell anyone is YOUR business. I live in a small town so if I lose track of what I'm actually doing I can ask someone on Main Street who doesn't know me and THEY will have an opinion as to how I should live my live. Cheers on your journey! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites