Has anyone kept their lap band a secret?

[CAROLYNFC 24]

I won't say I keep it a secret, I just didn't tell everyone. I told my close family and a few of my sister-in-laws (I have 6 on my husbands side). Other than that I just haven't shared. I also don't tell people I am on a diet. IWhen asked how I am losing weight I tell them exercise and healthier eating. I come from a large family but of 4 siblings I am one that being overweight has effected. I have the high blood pressure no one else. This was a decision to make me healthy and live longer so that I might see my daughter grow up and have children. I also believe I am having a good influence on her because the we as a family are eating healthier.

[bobrocky 8]

Well, I put it on Facebook, so I guess it isn't a secret. I've told my boss and coworkers. All but one friend has been supportive. The one who wasn't was upset bevause we both know many who had gastric bypass who gained it all back. .(why I'm having the lapbad). I wanted the support and the accountability. It will help me not to cheat.

[Jachut 487]

I truly dont think I coudl have gotten away with hiding it from family.

but I've started refilling my band slowly since having it emptied for a big surgery 8 months ago. I'm not telling anyone in my family about that. Reason being, I got very thin after the surgery. I've regained a little to be a bit heatlhier but I want to stay at this low weight (which is a BMI of 20) and people cant seem to process that. They think that if you're that thin, why on earth would you fill your band. Nobody gets that you need some restriction to maintain easily too - maybe not as much as to lose but over time, without restriction, I know I would gain. Not hugely fast, not a big rebound 50lb but over time, it will go back, so I'm geting back to a comfortable point. But my mother and my mother in law will panic that I'm anorexic and obsessed. They're used to my eating habits and are very unlikely to notice I have filled again because I've eaten just as small portions just as slowly through pure willpower for the 8 months I've been unfilled. But honestly, I dont see why I have to keep that up forever when I have this tool I can use. So I'm staying quiet this time.

Even my fill doctor was reluctant - she was saying but you're thin, why do you need it. This is the same woman that told me that virtually everyone gains when they are unfilled or remove their bands! I had to really do my block - this is MY body, MY tool, I have it, and its my right to use it kinda thing. And I was right. Maintaining is now pretty easy, no more hanging on by a thread willpower required, weight remaining stable and no loss occurring. I can eat bread, sandwiches etc but the appetite that I was having to constantly resist has gone.

[Lilium 2]

I started with telling my parents, sisters and brother, and all of their spouses, children etc. My mom pushed me to tell her brothers and sister etc. as it was a surgery and she felt everyone should know. Some of my uncles have not understood and so have said some pretty strange things about how the next time they see me I will be skinny. I have seen them twice since then and have only lost 5 pounds in this time. Mom wanted me to tell everyone we know, but I'm glad I finally put the brake on as not everyone needs to know now. Losing weight with the band can be a slow process and so explanations are not always needed. I did tell several co-workers as they were concerned by all my doctor's appointments leading up to the surgery. It does put extra pressure on me with the people who do know, but I'm choosing to see that as positive motivation. I have found that I need to reset expectations with information as people think it is a magic process and don't understand the hard work it takes and how slow the weight loss can be. As for having people watch what I eat, I don't feel that it is any different really as people are alwalys closely watching what obese people eat anyway. When the weight loss becomes noticeable and people ask me how I have lost the weight I plan on telling them about the band along with explanations of how I eat and exercise.

[brbm6 6]

I too am the only heavy one in a family of skinnies. It makes you feel like a real outsider. I told my mom who blabbed to all my siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents........basically anyone who would listen. I don't think she did it to be mean but, she does tend to tell me what I can and can not eat. But, I listen to my own body. Do I wish I hadn't told her? Sometimes. My friends have been the most supportive and my husband who is also banded. Bottom line........it is a personal choice to tell or not.

[SageTracey 608]

Your health, your choice to tell or not.

I have only told a very select few and am happy with my decision. I am comfortable saying that I eat less and exercise more because it's true and people just nod in agreement when I mention my son's wedding next year and how I want to look good in his photos.

[HolliJ 24]

A lot of people know about my band, but I don't generally tell people about it. My family and their neighbors know. A number of my co-workers also know. I don't have a problem telling people about it, especially if it's someone who would BENEFIT from the knowledge. Someone in the office next to me has been going through the process and considering the lap-band. And I think it's encouraging for her to see my weight loss and to know that it does help.

My response to most people, concerning my weight loss, is that "I count calories". And that's entirely true. The band doesn't take the weight off - I do. I gained 20lbs at one point. I've gone through stages where I ate anything I wanted. And I know people that have had the band and haven't lost weight... and actually GAINED. But when I really lost weight, it was due to my changes in my diet and exercise. Especially now.

I don't feel dishonest about it, either. I currently have more dedication and strength of mind than anyone else I know. Just because I have the band doesn't mean it's gonna stop me from eating candy and cakes. *I* made the choice not to do that, so I am responsible for my weight loss. And people that know about my band see me weighing my food, eating healthy foods, and staying away from all the **** that is brought in. So they can't see that and say, "Oh, she's cheating because she had weight loss surgery. That's why she's losing weight." because it would be entirely untrue.

[marymcd54 10]

I don't think I want people to know when I get banded besides close family that will probably have to help me day of surgery and what not. Has anyone else kept their band a secret from people when people start asking how you losing all your weight? What made you come to the decision to keep it to yourself and has it been easy to keep quiet?

I have told everyone, except my brother! Everyone thinks it is a great idea, except my one son. (he is dieting right now and doing well for the second time)

I just know this is going to be a great tool for getting this weight off.

[fefebutterfly 7]

Hi Amber.

I am like you, it is not necessary to tell everyone about your surgery. In a nutshell it is none of their business. When people ask me what I am doing to lose weight, I simply tell them high Protein low carb diet, and exercise which is what I truly do. This lapband is a tool that we use to lose weight to curb my appetite and to let me know when enough is enough.

The only people that knows about my surgery is my Husband, my Mom, my Doctors, My dietician, my trainer, my Pastor, and my manager at work. I didnt want to tell my manager at work because I dont trust her all the way but she may start questioning me about all my appointments and things. So I told her in confidence, I hope. None of my coworkers know and even my brother doesnt know.

Some times I want to tell people, but my privacy is everything, plus people like to judge.

-Fefe

[naisey 1]

I told NO ONE. I told my family I was having my gallbladder out. I was single at the time. Even now, my current husband doesn'y know. It's private. Had a bit of trouble keeping the secret when I was pregnant though as the port started to stick out a bit.

[fefebutterfly 7]

I told NO ONE. I told my family I was having my gallbladder out. I was single at the time. Even now, my current husband doesn'y know. It's private. Had a bit of trouble keeping the secret when I was pregnant though as the port started to stick out a bit.

Naisey,

I Believe that you should tell your husband because you should tell someone. I dont know what I would have done if I didnt have the support from my Husband and my Mother. This is a huge step in your life, but if you are okay with not telling anyone that is your choice. This is a difficult thing to talk about with anyone, so find a confidant.

FeFe

[dyingbreed 1]

If I do get a band, my wife will know, and thats it. I hate the minute you tell one person, and they swear not to tell anyone, BAM it spreads like wide fire.

[losethemess 14]

I told NO ONE. I told my family I was having my gallbladder out. I was single at the time. Even now, my current husband doesn'y know. It's private. Had a bit of trouble keeping the secret when I was pregnant though as the port started to stick out a bit.

[/quote

I understand why you haven't told anyone. If you've gone this far without telling anyone why do it now? You've shown that you can be successful without the support which is amazing. I only two people I told were my husband who I married before surgery and my mom. He wasn't supportive in the beginning. Mom was an amazing support. Do you ever feel the urge to tell him? Just curious?

[klariade 7]

It's a personal decision who you tell. For me, I told a few people beforehand and ended up finding out that someone I work with was having it done a month before me. It was so wonderful to have her to talk to because we were going through the same thing at almost the same time. We still talk from time to time 2 years later and help each other out when we're in a rut. I chose to let everybody know who would listen. I posted a blog and talked about it on Facebook. Because I was very open about it, several people I know came to me for advice. I helped several people through the decision process (all of them had lap band surgery!) and keep in touch with some friends from college who are banded, who otherwise I probably wouldn't talk to at all. It's been so fulfilling being able to help others through the process, give tips, and emotional support. Had I not been open about my surgery, there would probably be a few lost souls out there without a band! I've also become an advocate for weight loss surgery and healthy living, and gotten involved in the Obesity Action Coalition, letting people know that surgery is NOT the easy way out. I am very quick to throw down on people who think weight loss surgery is a copout. But that's me, that may or may not be the way you want to go. It's up to you, but never EVER be ashamed of having a band!

[naisey 1]

Naisey,

I Believe that you should tell your husband because you should tell someone. I dont know what I would have done if I didnt have the support from my Husband and my Mother. This is a huge step in your life, but if you are okay with not telling anyone that is your choice. This is a difficult thing to talk about with anyone, so find a confidant.

FeFe

Thanks so much for your concern. That is very sweet .

I was banded in 2005 and didn't get together with my husband til 2007. I have lost 60 kilos, never had a problem so for me it's not an issue. I am 100% happy with my decision not to tell and will NEVER change my mind.