Stress from cancer made me fall off the wagon

[mumof2boys 71]

Hi there everyone. Some of you may know me and some may not. As a way of background, I was banded four years ago and I have done absolutely WONDERFUL. I lost a total of 131 pounds and then proceeded with plastic surgery, which consisted of a lower body lift and breast lift with augmentation (that surgery was in 2009). In 2008 I was informed that my husband of 10 years was having an affair and our marraige ended in a divorce that became final in May 2010. I then went through a relationship which was very unhealthy with a guy who was very possessive and controlling. Towards the end of that relationship I was diagnosed with breast cancer (in December 2010). I went through surgery (lumpectomy) and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation therapy. I was extremely lucky that I did not have to take any chemo due to the fact that I caught the cancer in the earliest of stages. Following radiation I went through genetic testing which came back positive for the mutated BRCA II gene which is the breast cancer and ovarian cancer gene. Then, I went through more genetic testing which again tested positive for blood clots which eliminated me as a candidate to take the drug Tamoxifen (the decrease my risk of breast cancer reoccurrence). So...here I am...37 years old, a cancer survivor. Now...during that time of the fight against cancer I was extremely stressed and found comfort in food and packed on about 30 lbs. I am so upset with myself and need to get back on the wagon. I look at pictures of me from last summer and I get so mad at myself. I'm asking for you guys to pray for me for 1. that the cancer NEVER returns and for 2. that I have enough will power in me to get back to where I was and feeling good about myself. Don't get me wrong...I can still fit in my clothes (they are tight) but I'm so angry.

I appreciate all of your support and prayers. You guys rock!

[brbm6 6]

Be kind to yourself. You have been through a lot. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[mousie_e 0]

ROCK IT OUT GIRL!!!!! you have survived things most cannot. You will get back on the bandwagon....and be just fine.

[Phranp 46]

You have my support and my prayers.

Know that God did not bring you this far to leave you now. You are amazing and an inspiration to us when we want whine about one thing or another.

Give yourself a moment to breathe, you have been through a lot. Take the time to remember how and why you lost the weight the first time and move forward from there.

I hope you have good support from friends and relatives where you are ... I am sure you could use some comfort -- the kind that doesn't have calories. LOL (Been there, done that.) Cyber hugs coming your way now.

All the best to you.

~Fran

[Sandy Beach 4]

Hi there everyone. Some of you may know me and some may not. As a way of background, I was banded four years ago and I have done absolutely WONDERFUL. I lost a total of 131 pounds and then proceeded with plastic surgery, which consisted of a lower body lift and breast lift with augmentation (that surgery was in 2009). In 2008 I was informed that my husband of 10 years was having an affair and our marraige ended in a divorce that became final in May 2010. I then went through a relationship which was very unhealthy with a guy who was very possessive and controlling. Towards the end of that relationship I was diagnosed with breast cancer (in December 2010). I went through surgery (lumpectomy) and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation therapy. I was extremely lucky that I did not have to take any chemo due to the fact that I caught the cancer in the earliest of stages. Following radiation I went through genetic testing which came back positive for the mutated BRCA II gene which is the breast cancer and ovarian cancer gene. Then, I went through more genetic testing which again tested positive for blood clots which eliminated me as a candidate to take the drug Tamoxifen (the decrease my risk of breast cancer reoccurrence). So...here I am...37 years old, a cancer survivor. Now...during that time of the fight against cancer I was extremely stressed and found comfort in food and packed on about 30 lbs. I am so upset with myself and need to get back on the wagon. I look at pictures of me from last summer and I get so mad at myself. I'm asking for you guys to pray for me for 1. that the cancer NEVER returns and for 2. that I have enough will power in me to get back to where I was and feeling good about myself. Don't get me wrong...I can still fit in my clothes (they are tight) but I'm so angry.

I appreciate all of your support and prayers. You guys rock!

[Sandy Beach 4]

Hi Mum, As you can see by my sticker I needed to get back on the wagon. I gained 20 lbs due to stress. Take a look at your slim pictures. I looked at mine and was shocked how much diferance 20 lbs can make when you are close to goal. I got back on the wagon a week ago. I am going in for port revision surgery 7/7/11. I went in for a fill and we discovered I have a leak in my port. Now I know why I gained so much weight. ~Sandy~

[LDA328 0]

Hi Mum, As you can see by my sticker I needed to get back on the wagon. I gained 20 lbs due to stress. Take a look at your slim pictures. I looked at mine and was shocked how much diferance 20 lbs can make when you are close to goal. I got back on the wagon a week ago. I am going in for port revision surgery 7/7/11. I went in for a fill and we discovered I have a leak in my port. Now I know why I gained so much weight. ~Sandy~

[purple3797 5]

Just from hearing your story I think that you are amazing! I am going through much stress now and a crazy marriage and so on and I find it very difficult to care for myself the way I should. But you found the courage to fight cancer and you can fight the little bit of extra weight as well. You are beautiful ! Dont ever let yourself forget that!

[Jachut 487]

Your story is so similar to mine, banded over five years, had done wonderfully and then out of the blue, diagnosed with rectal cancer. I had chemo, radiation and a huge surgery in which my rectum and a fair bit of colon was removed, i was given a temporary ileostomy and sent home with a bag on my lovely flat stomach. I got through to the actual surgery without unfilling my band and I looked at it like this - cancer is a nasty shock and its life threatening, but that's not the worse. I hate how it took over my life, I couldnt work, I wasnt free to do any of the stuff I normally did, I was tied to the hospital routine of daily radiation, I was limited by my need for treatment. I'd just gone back to university at 36, gotten a teaching degree and was in my first job, i was so devastated. But I was DETERMINED that it was not going to undo my triumph over my weight - I ran and did bootcamp right through the initial six week chemo and radiation, right up until my surgery and I went for a run ten days after my bowel resection. I went back to bootcamp. I had another 20 weeks of chemo which was MUCH tougher than the initial lot, and my band was now totally unfilled, but I kept to my normal excercise routine. I lost a fair bit of weight through the surgery and I've managed to hold it off. I. just. will. not. let. the. cancer. win. I wont. I have hung on with grim determination to my diet and exercise routines and its paid off.

I dont know how to say that without it coming across as I'm stronger, smarter, better, whatever. I'm not. Its just I looked at it and I thought I can beat anything, but if I get fat again, its won. And I wont let that happen. i was greatly helped by the fact that my treatment has had effects on my digestive system, even the chemo regime is not the same as for breast cancer, with breast cancer, weight gain during chemo is very common. I didnt tolerate my second chemo that well and had to be hospitalised three times for bowel obstructions, so every time I gained a little weight, I found I was nil by mouth for four or five days and it would come off again. I've gradually started filling my band again now. I'm about to have my ileostomy reversed and will now have the challenge of regaining bowel control, which might mean that I have to moderate my exercise - I might be running on my treadmill near my toilet for a while to come, but truly, where there is a will there is a way.

I have to have genetic testing too, I'm the fifth person in both the current and previous generation to have had bowel cancer in my immediate family under the age of 45 and the only one not to have died from it.

Sometimes I felt so damn sick but I went out running anyway - it never failed to make me feel better and just the emotional benefit of it was enormous. I dont have a secret or anything to tell you, I can only encourage you that maintaining your routines, keeping on top of your weight, not allowing the cancer to take away what you have achieved - it makes you stronger, and more emotionally stable and that has positive benefits on your health. It is SO worth getting yourself back on track, and I will definitely pray for you.

[blondielou 2]

Hi, I hope you don't mind me posting, I was just looking around the site.

DON'T BE HARD ON YOURSELF!!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!! That means you have the chance to STILL live your life how you want it. A coworker of mine had breast cancer and she was out of work for over 10 months and last week was her last chemo treatment. She had to do chemo & radiation and is also on an experimental chemo drug. I guess it just hit home with me when I read your post because you don't need to be hard on yourself at all.

Side note: I found out my husband was cheating on me last year, he was physically abusive & very controlling so it was for the best. I left on January 30, 2010 and our divorce will be finale for one year on August 4th. It took about 2 months for me to want to do anything (after I left) I made it to work but I don't even remember most of last year, it was like I was in a daze and if I made it out of bed it was an accomplishment but the first thing I did do was go join a gym in April. 3 days later I got a very rare ankle injury & have been barely able to walk for over a year. I had ankle replacement in May and have been in a cast & not able to walk since, sooooo....I started looking in to this. It will be SO nice to finally have control of my life & finally feel better about myself. I've never been so hurt in my life, we were married 4 years but together for a total of 11 so I can feel your pain.

Hope all is well with your health!!