Feeling Discouraged..What's the point...?

[TheBandedPeach 3]

Ok, so I have become a LBT addict since discovering this site, and trully enjoyed being there for other banders and helping them with their questions, as I feel it has also been helping me...

I am sad to post anything negative... but I guess now I need some extra help....

I'm 3 months post OP and have been stuck at the same weight for 2 out of the 3 months. I have only lost 22lbs since my surgery. THIRTEEN of those pounds were actually lost in the 5 day clear liquid fast pre-surgery.

I'm eating only 1-1.5 cups of food MAX (from 2-4) and have switched to a lot of low fat options that I would not have done in the past. Just these 2 changes alone I would think would make me lose weight. I CONSTANTLY feel hungry and find it to be all will power and absolutely nothing to do with the actual band itself. I have to force myself to stop eating/picking and REMIND myself physically with a slap of the hand not to snack. I actually have to remember not to. I stuck a sticky note on the fridge!

Also, before I go on, I have to say that I am mildly disabled physically and I am restricted from most kinds of exercise, including walking unless taking pain meds, which I only like to take on desperate occasions...BUT, taking that out of the equation, I have spent more time on my stationary bike at home in the last month.... and STILL--NO--CHANGE. I've been up and down 2 lbs in 6 weeks totaling the 22lbs lost after weighting myself today.

I feel the band is not doing what they say it should do and now in a panic since I am getting married in 5 months and not even close to my goal for the wedding. Even another 30 would make me happy as a clam!

...If anything I feel as if the band slowed me down due to some complications... FYI they thought I needed my gall bladder removed (due to drastic diet change -- because of the surgery) and I have had severe abdominal pains ever since my first fill, so spent a total of 4 times in the ER since the surgery. Turns out I was able to actually HEAL my gall bladder with a special diet and the tests cleared in 3 weeks. After that diet I would have thought that I would have lost weight just from that... but not a budge on the scale...

Whats the point of the band again....?

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[Rachel412 116]

Well whatever it's supposed to do, clearly it's not doing it! How much Fluid is in your band now? Are you tracking your food & exercise? Eating Protein first? When was your last fill?

[TheBandedPeach 3]

Well whatever it's supposed to do, clearly it's not doing it! How much Fluid is in your band now? Are you tracking your food & exercise? Eating Protein first? When was your last fill?

I actually have no idea how much is in my band LOL! One of my main complaints with my doctors has been the extreme lack of communication which is why I needed to come on here.

When I first saw this forum a few days ago, all these terms were new to me! I didn't know that we were supposed to know how many cc's or even what that was. I promise I will ask and find out on my next visit where I am at now and where they will put me.

Yes, I keep track and like to journal my meals, calories & Proteins. I have not gotten as far as journaling my fats and carbs yet.

I eat 2-3 meals a day at exactly 1-1.5 cups. I stay between 1000-1200 calories (the higher end being on weekends). The only thing that has made me lose any weight is the all liquid diets.

I am restricted to gentle cardio exercising 20-30 minutes 1-2 times per week (just for now). I am most deffinatly eating my Protein first and have doubled the amount of veggies in my diet. Sometimes for my morning meal I just do a 160 calorie skim milk Protein shake if I need extra energy for the day.

All of my effort has been will power, as I hardly feel the band except when I sleep and roll around. When it comes to it supposedly having to do with triggering signals to the brain and telling your hypothalamus that you are satisfied, apparently that doesn't work for me, because I am always hungry 1-2 hours after a meal. I mean hungry in the sense of a growling, mumbling stomach, not "hungry" in my brain. It takes a LOT of effort not to just pop a bite or two of leftover chicken in my mouth or a slice of sandwich turkey 2 hours after Breakfast.

My last fill was only my second fill and it was exactly 2 weeks ago (June 16th 2011 )and the scale has only been bumping up and down 2 pounds.

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[Rachel412 116]

And when will they let you come in for another fill?

[TheBandedPeach 3]

And when will they let you come in for another fill?

I plan on calling tomorrow to find out

[Rachel412 116]

And if it helps... it sure sounds like you're doing everything right, and you're not at the point yet where the band is helping you at all. Which is SO SO HARD. You're doing all you can do right now- please don't give up!

[TheBandedPeach 3]

And if it helps... it sure sounds like you're doing everything right, and you're not at the point yet where the band is helping you at all. Which is SO SO HARD. You're doing all you can do right now- please don't give up!

Yes, thank you that does help. Sometimes all i need is a little encouragment to keep going... Question though.... Does every Bander go through a few months of this in the beginning? Does it ever get easier to eat less? If so, then what is a typical period of time before it finally starts to "switch on" so to speak...

[Dave_NW 92]

As you get more fills your appetite will decrease, and it'll be easier to avoid Snacks and binge eating. If you aren't hungry all the time, you have a better chance to be successful with your weight loss. Schedule that appointment, and talk to your fill doctor about how to develop realistic expectations.

There is a period of time at first where you don't have enough Fluid in your band to affect your appetite, and any weight loss is due mainly to will power. They call that "bandster hell." You're in it. Once you have more in your band, you won't be hungry all the time, and the rest of the good work you're doing will have a better effect.

Check my ticker at the bottom of my signature. I'm living proof the band WILL work, once you get it fine-tuned for your body. Hang in there, and go see that doctor! Be aggressive with your questions, and insist they help you get some answers. You paid a lot for your band, and you deserve to have it working as it should. But just like any good tool, it needs to be used by an experienced person - that would be you.

Good luck!

Dave

[Rachel412 116]

Yes, thank you that does help. Sometimes all i need is a little encouragment to keep going... Question though.... Does every Bander go through a few months of this in the beginning? Does it ever get easier to eat less? If so, then what is a typical period of time before it finally starts to "switch on" so to speak...

I wouldn't say every bandster goes through it, since some people feel the effects of the band right away. I sure didn't! I've not had 3 fills and my appetite is dimmed. I don't think I'm at the ideal point yet, but when I eat my small amount of food, I am kept satisfied for longer. Not full, satisfied... I have a feeling I'll never feel my beloved "overstuffed" feeling ever again

I think most people need 3-4 fills to really start feeling like the band is helping. Some people need less or more fills. It'd be good for you to know how much Fluid you have in your band, because as an educated patient you need to make sure your doctor understands that you're a part of this journey, too.

But I'll say it again- what you're dealing with right now is totally, totally normal. And it sucks and it's HARD! But if you get through it, just think of how proud of yourself you'll be!

[Phranp 46]

Yes, thank you that does help. Sometimes all i need is a little encouragment to keep going... Question though.... Does every Bander go through a few months of this in the beginning? Does it ever get easier to eat less? If so, then what is a typical period of time before it finally starts to "switch on" so to speak...

Most, but not all, bandsters go through "Bandster Hell". This is the period after surgery but before you reach your "sweet spot". You are obviously NOT anywhere near your sweet spot. I am sorry you are having such difficulty. How are you with carbs? Are they are part of your food plan or no? Sometimes eliminating most carbs from your diet can kick start weight loss. I have great difficultly eliminating carbs ... but some people have seen great results. I have actually seen great results when I cut my carbs ... but I also turn into an axe murderer and my family doesn't appreciate it when I do that. LOL I am keeping my fingers crossed that you don't have one of those doctors that is stingy with the fills ... it could take forever to get to your sweet spot if he is. But you will get there ... you might be my age when you get there but ... okay, only kidding. When you get closer, and finally to your sweet spot life will be much better.

As for your disability ... may I ask how severe it is. I had back surgery in 2004 and cannot run or do exercise that is too strenuous. I have spinal stenosis (arthritis of the spine) and arthritis in my knees ... and a few other joints. That said I walk 3-4 miles every morning before work and 2-3 miles each day on the weekend. If you cannot walk, how about Water aerobics? Gotta get that body moving.

Each of us is on a personal journey and no two are alike. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa. It is important for you to try different things to find what works best for you. Remember, even though our doctors have a plan for their patients ... we are not all the same, so their "cookie cutter" program may not work for every single patient. Get to know your body and how it reacts to different types of foods. And remember, too few calories can be as bad as too many. Be sure that you are getting that 1000-1200 calories.

Be kind to yourself and patient. The man you are marrying obviously proposed to you at this weight ... he's not going to be dissappointed if you do not walk down the aisle wearing a size 2 Vera Wang gown. He is looking to see the woman that he loves and admires and that's you just as you are today.

Hang in there. You are going to be fine. We are here to support you. Keep reading ... there's a well spring of information on this forum. Take what you can use and leave the rest behind (including my advice ).

All the best to you on your journey.

~Fran

[Acadia 20]

It's all normal and it's hell.

Let's put this in perspective. You're saying you've lost 9 lbs since surgery. The first 6 weeks you shouldn't be losing, you're healing, so really you've lost 9 lbs in 6 weeks, which is 1.5 lbs per week - a perfect amount to lose each week. Granted yours has been over a certain amount of time but that puts it into perspective you ARE on track.

Are you taking your measurements? If not, start. They show a better picture than weight.

If you're hungry drink a small Protein shake or a glass of light soy milk (60 calories). It fills you up without dragging you down and is beneficial. If I wake up in the middle of the night starving - I drink 1 c of soy milk (usually with a tbsp or two of chai because I hate plain soy milk), totally gets rid of the hunger (and thirst, which can mask itself as hunger) and I can lay down immediately thereafter.

You may also need MORE calories: 1,000-1,200 is the standard for losing weight but based on your BMI (which, if you're around 5'6" that puts you around 340 lbs), you should be eating around 1,800 - 2,300 to lose weight nicely. Sounds odd but it's true. For me to maintain my current weight I need 1,742 calories, to lose 1 lbs a week I need to eat 1,242 a day OR work off 500 calories a day.

If you are around 340 lbs and say 35 years old and 5' 6" you need 3,382 calories to maintain that weight. To lose 2 lbs a week you need to reduce that to 2,382. Lower than that and you're heading into starvation mode for your particular body size right now. So increase your calories. And don't feel bad about it. Increasing your calories will help your body learn not to hoard the food calories you're eating. You may find that increasing your calories (in a healthy way of course - an apple for a snack with some Peanut Butter, glass of soy or Protein Shake, an extra piece of sliced turkey on a sandwich) will help kick start your weight loss again.

For exercise, look up a local boxing gym, boxing is an awesome workout even for those who can't walk much, even in a wheelchair you can do it. Wear a back brace to keep you stable. Trainers will be able to help you.

You're doing well - it takes time.

[Wheelchair 13]

For exercise, look up a local boxing gym, boxing is an awesome workout even for those who can't walk much, even in a wheelchair you can do it. Wear a back brace to keep you stable. Trainers will be able to help you.

Interesting point. I wonder how boxing would help someone in a wheelchair.

To the OP, can you expound on your physical condition?

Being a paraplegic, I have NO SENSATION OR MOVEMENT below my sternum. Not being able to walk (or move my legs at all) is a definite setback but the big thing is that I cannot even control my core muscles... I have very tough time balancing myself if I'm not holding onto anything. I wouldn't be able to sit in a chair with out a high enough back.. or sit on the bed without having to support myself with my arms. I actually can't even sneeze because of my lack of ab control.

However, I've found many ways to keep myself active physically. I used to be a huge workout buff before my motorcycle accident, but to be honest, I don't frequent the gym as much nowadays. That being said, I do many activities at home to maintain my upper body strength.

One of the things I do is yardwork. It might not be a big deal to most people... but the very act of me pushing myself through the grass in my wheelchair is a lot of exercise. I've recently cut down a fairly large tree and I've been cleaning all that up myself. I cut the larger trunk into manageable pieces and use a wedge and a 6lb hammer to split the logs.

Another thing I do on a daily basis is take my two dogs to the park. I try not to stay still whenever I'm out with my dogs. I'll find something to do to keep myself moving around. Pushing a wheelchair through grass is hard enough... but it's even tougher in the woods!

Sorry to bore you with all my talk...but my main point is that certain physical limitations can be overcome. From reading your post, I think you're well aware of the diet aspects of weight loss... but not too much with the exercise portion. Try lifting weights... it's tough at first but gets much easier. Weightlifting trumps aerobic exercises any day.

Best of luck to you!

[andrea0121 28]

Hi peaches, everyone in this thread so far has made really really valid points.

Just as a reference point for you, I'm almost 7 months out. Just went in last Monday for my FIFTH fill, which puts me at 7.5cc's in a 10cc standard lap band. Since surgery, I have lost 43lbs. The last 15 came off in 5 weeks after my previous fill (I had 7.25cc's at that point).

Yes, I was hungry...up until my last 2 fills I was pretty disappointed as well. But I knew I would get there. Some people in my December bandsters group have already lost 90+ lbs....I can't let that get my down though. Same with you, don't compare yourself to other's weight loss. You're losing weight, as slow as it may be, you've still lost.

Give it some time to get restriction. We're told there is a bandster hell, but not how long it lasts. I'd say mine lasted for a good 5 months before I felt any type of restriction or help for my hunger.

[sweetpea61956 6]

check around and see if you can find Water aerobics and see if you can do those. I have bad ankles and knees and hadn't exercised in way too many years to count. Now I go 3 nights a week for Water aerobics. My classes are an hour long and some keep moving all the time. I haven't made it there yet..but I will.

Good luck

[TheBandedPeach 3]

You guys are all so amazing! What would I have done without you??? I actually cried when I read all the kind and supportive words of advice everyone has given, as this is so friggen emotional LOL . I never really thought it would hit me like people said. I was hoping I could just float along, but I'm beginning to learn a little more each day.

"Bandster Hell"...Hmmm...Yep! That pretty much describes it to a "T"!

@ Dave- It definitely helps me to see everyone's success.Thanks for being so super positive for me and I know it helps others as well! Your a superstar on here in my eyes and I will continue to read your posts, if not just for positive reminders.

@ Rachel - Thanks so much for calming my worries. That is great info to know! I have this feeling that my 3rd fill may be the one.. I can tell I'm close, but not quite there yet. I have worked extra hard the last 2 days and although I feel a bit of hunger and some soreness on occasion, it's getting easier, I can tell. You as well have helped boost my confidence with this.

@ Phranp - I really love your comforting energy. Mind if I add you as a friend, if I didn't already? I like how you used the words "sweet spot" to describe it, cause it makes so much more sense...I'll say the truth about the carbs...I have been eating more carbs since the surgery then I ever have before!... because I keep feeling like they are the only things bulky and heavy enough to make be feel full and like the band is doing it's "job". In the last 2 days I have tried to go back to eliminating them as much as possible, now that I understand better how this all works. I try to get in more complex carbs and ditch the simple carbs. ....Yeah, if I don't get my chocolate fix, my fiance' wimpers in "fear" (comically), does one of these ---> , then runs out to a store and buys me some right away! LOL. My sweet, sweet enabler, :lol:LOL

Yes, he does love me very, very much and is 100% supportive in everything I do..so in that sense I feel VERY blessed....

I agree with the whole cookie cutter idea, and that we truly are all different and unique. I have never quite "fit" into peoples "molds" with anything in my life.

We all have our blessings and our battles.

Fran, you warmed my heart with your response <3

@ Phranp & Wheelchair - As far as my disability goes, it's severe enough that as a child the docs wanted me in a wheel chair, but flexible enough that I chose to keep around a pair of crutches instead for the bad days. I have to always have them on hand for days when my body gives up and says "sorry, your not gonna work today". I am unable to get out of bed without assistance and/or extreme pain in the mornings. I lock up once I have laid flat.

What I have is a rare form of Level 5 Spondylolitheses...sounds like (SPOND-DE-LOW-LA-THEES-ES) and a metabolic bone disease which created arthritis throughout my body at an early age. I am 27 yrs old now and look perfectly "normal" on the outside, but a total mess on the inside (my bones). I am scared that losing the weight will show off the deformation in my spine and legs, that people don't seem to notice now as long as there is lots of weight on me.

I have good days and bad days...the good days are becoming farther and farther apart as I started gaining more weight and getting older. I know that losing all the weight will relieve so much pressure, that I may be almost %100 mobile in the end. That's what the doc said anyways, and that's what got me determined enough to go through with this surgery. Now...I just gotta make it work somehow!

@ Acadia - Hi again Yes, only 9 since surgery technically. I just count the 5 days before since it's when I felt I started my real journey. It was actually 7 lbs lost during my first 3 weeks of full liquids (was told to do 6 weeks of full liquids). Then when I started slipping up and going against my doc's orders and eating mushies during the last 3 weeks of full liquids, I stopped losing immediately and have been stuck ever since. I didn't lose another 2 pounds until I was in the ER stuck on Clear Liquids again. I have kept those off and lost another 1/2 pound this week. I am 3 months post op.

My fave trick right now to feeling "satisfied" is drinking a 1/2 cup of Water or low cal liquid before any meal, and it has REALLY been helping.

After reading your post I made sure to measure my inches right away and found a much easier website to help me do all my calculations with BMR, BMI, calories, exercise, etc.. It's myfitnesspal.com I wish I had found it a year ago before I did all the work, research and math myself to figure it all out! It is saying that if I do very moderate exercise 2 times a week, I can eat up to 1,700 calories a day and lose weight. So I am trying to do around 1,300-1,400 instead to see how that goes, especially since I cannot guarantee myself a workout. I'm 27yrs old, 317.5 lbs and 5' 4".

My fiance' started teaching me boxing, but we had to sell our bag and equipment during hard times (all the twisting and force was a bit risky for me too), so now I think I will take everyone's advice and try to do a Water aerobics class.

@ Wheelchair - Thank you for sharing yourself with me. You did not bore me one bit. I was inspired and fascinated. It's also nice to know when another person understands what your going through. I realize our situations are not perfectly alike, but enough to relate to some extents. I most definitely need to know more about the exercise portion of weight loss. Your a beautiful person for your hard work and determination. I cant wait to hear more about your success!

@ Andrea - That helps a lot, thank you! I promise I'll keep my head up and try not to compare so much. Your doing great! I'm so curious now to know how big my band is! Everyone else seems to know, and it seems important to know (especially the cc's amount), so I will ask asap to find out myself.

@ Sweetpea - water aerobics it is!!! THANKS!!! And good luck with your own journey.

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