Forums are good and not so good

[Marcib 1]

I had my surgery June 6th. I'm reading all these different experiences. I know so many positive stories are on here but there are also some really scary and discouraging stories. Im seriously wondering if I should stay off this board.

[Rachel412 116]

It's really important to know the good AND the bad so that you're aware of what might happen for you. Keep your mind and your eyes open!

[jen120 23]

I guess it depends what kind of person you are. If you are someone who reads about another poster who is having significant problems and its going to make you nervous, or cause you to worry excessively then you might limit what you read. There is no point in making yourself feel bad or worry.

[Magnifi8 0]

For someone in my position (my primary yesterday approved my referral for the band), it's absolutely critical to hear as many different experiences with this procedure so that I can make a sound decision for ME. Knowing what my risks are as well as the benefits will help me to do so. If I only heard one side of the story, I couldn't make the "right choice" now could I?

Hopeful still...

I had my surgery June 6th. I'm reading all these different experiences. I know so many positive stories are on here but there are also some really scary and discouraging stories. Im seriously wondering if I should stay off this board.

[Marcib 1]

Hello everyone. All your posts are true. I consider myself a positive person. The cup is half full. I am trying to keep positive since surgery. I am focusing on changing my lifestyle so I can be successful. It has not been easy and what's happening is people's negative stories are making me a lil nervous. But then I remind myself why I had this surgery ( to save my life) and I have to just focus on learning how to use this tool for my benefit.

[sweetpea61956 6]

I had my surgery on May 26th but I started learning back in February when I started going to the center. Just remember this is for you and no one else...yes there are some horror stories on here, but my guess is for every one horror story there are 10 success stories. Hang in there and just remember we want to live long and healthy lives.

[nayttap 4]

Reading all of the others experiences are eye-opening........lots not reflected in the "studies"--professional and peer reviewed journals. Each person here really has to decide upon the "truth" and best decision for themselves based upon the various bias's and personal interpretations of experiences.

What I totally dislike is the sniping and belittling of each other with differing opinions. I went to another forum, and didn't find it much different.........what makes people so all-knowing and mean on forums just because they are relatively anonymous?

[CheckYes 46]

Marci,

Keep in mind that more people post when they are experiencing problems rather than everything going smoothly. It's bound to give a kind of distorted idea of how often people experience problems.

Start reading the success story threads and stick with those for the time being. There are several at the top of the post op board. Also, if you notice someone who has a positive experience has a blog, subscribe to it and read their posts.

It's normal to be nervous and to get nervous when you read other people's struggles. Just keep in mind that you are not struggling and are working hard and are committed. Being aware of potential problems is good as long as you don't start being overly anxious about them occurring to you. If you are becoming too anxious, stay away for a bit them come back when you think you can handle it.

Best wishes to you!

[Debora Anne 3]

I researched the lap band for 2 years before taking the big step - while researching I also had the opportunity to watch several people (freinds and co-workers) got thru the process ALL have been successful - some with bad episodes but when I speak with them they admit it was a poor food choice or lack of excercise for the most part as to why something did or did not happen that they experienced.

Reading the positive posts keep me motivated and encouraged! - the bad ones I use as a WARNING- it helps me to stay on track and make sure I do all the right things to avoid the bad- You need to also remember although some of the bad stories are not the fault of the banded person - In my opionion when you read deeper into some of the bad you will notice the bad things occur because of poor choices on the banded person's part Sorry if I hurt anyones feelings just my 2 cents for whatever it is worth

[isit5yet 37]

I have to second and triple what everyone else posted. Also look for trends in the poster. Some posters that are generally negative are opinions I tend to mentally throw away. The point about people posting when they are low more than when they are doing well is so very true. It's good to arm yourself with other experiences, but take the stories and find a middle truth in between the extremes.

If you find a poster who you think you click with or want to ask more questions, please feel free to private message and reach out to that person. I think you'll find most everyone on here is here for support. Good luck!!!!

[emsbugbug 7]

I was banded in September of 2010. Before banding and right after, I was on this board several times daily. I read the negative and the positive. Since I have had great success with the band, I rarely come to the boards anymore. I know what is working for me and am just busy going on with my life. If I have questions, this is the first place that I think to come, but beyond that, I stay away because of the negative and the fact that I am just too busy. The journey is mine and mine alone. What works for me may not work for someone else. I don't like to spew my opinions and put people down, but I also don't like to hear people complain that the band doesn't work or that they can't afford a fill. If you couldn't afford to keep up with the maintenance of the band, why did you get it in the first place?

You don't see as much positive on here as you see negative and that is because many of us who are successful with it, have really just moved on. There are some really successful posters still here that are a wealth of knowledge and are so helpful. Get to know who they are and read what they have to say. They are motivators and are generally here to help.

Good luck on your journey. Remember that it is yours alone and only you can make your journey successful!

[snowdevl 0]

It is amazing that the people who complain are also the ones who are not taking the dieting part of this seriously or the excersizing part. It won't work without all in place and people complain that they eat too much popcorn or icecream. Of course if you are not regimented, you will not loose weight. It isn't magic, it is just a tool that will help you if you eat right and excersize a lot. My life is now going to be so different as soon as I am approved to excersize. Since I am only 3 days out, doing things around the house is my excersize and then sometimes my temp starts going up and I need a break. I figure if I don't try a food that isn't good for me, I will not know if it agrees with me and then I wont eat it. If I break down and try it, I might find out that Ice cream or Cookies don't make me sick and then I will be more likely to eat them. Ignorance is bliss in this case I think. Just read the positive posts or really look at the people who complain. Is it because they don't excersize? Don't eat right? Eat too little? Eat too much? snack all day?

[sassyfrass 24]

First of all, CONGRATS on your band surgery going well.

I have to agree about the forums, but I agree with the posters, that this is a good way to get both sides of the 'story'. The good and the bad. Some of the bad experiences do scare me a bit (I have not been banded yet. Have to wait a few months out for new insurance coming.) BUT...just when I think I may not do it, I get excited all over by some great posts with good experiences. I have been reading and reasarching ALOT lately about this, and I am feeling good about doing it.

Congrats to all of you that have made the decision to take that step to getting healthy. I am so anxious to get going with this. Is it September yet? :0)

[nurse535 30]

Another thing to keep in mind: I've seen several posts between here and other message boards where people have had complications and yet they still make the decision to keep their band or to be re-banded because they still felt the positives outweighed the negatives.

It's also important to really evaluate yourself and the issues that have caused you to become overweight. In my case, one reason I have overeaten is that I rarely felt full or even satisfied, no matter how much I ate. I know I will still have to make healthy choices in order to lose weight, but for me making those healthy choices will be a lot easier if I am not feeling hungry ALLTHETIME! The ability to still be able to eat some of the things I love is also important to me, which I can still do with the band, but again the band will help me control and limit my consumption of these items.

Unfortunately there are as many different ways of educating patients about the band as there are surgeons, and it's very inconsistent. Couple that with some surgeons who really are mainly out to make a buck and not doing this out of a desire to truly help people get healthy, and you end up with some people being banded with limited and/or poor education and unreasonable expectations, without having been prepared for the changes they'd have to make.

I know there's definitely a few people who have issues beyond their control and that's unfortunate, but I've been told by my surgeon that the complication rate is around 1% in those cases. Most of those issues can be corrected but I feel so sorry for people who have to endure that. I'm recently banded (8 days post-op) so I could still be one of those 1%, but I am hoping and praying I won't be.

I agree with an earlier comment who said that the best way to make an educated decision about having the surgery is to know the bad and the good, so I don't think you should stop reading.

[roziecakes 20]

First of all,

I'm glad you're here! We got banded in the same week, and I like having others here who are at the 'same stage' as I am to talk to. I like reading your posts.

Also, I will echo what others say in that it's so important to read all of the different experiences because you can take a little piece from each one and learn. If someone posts and says, "Gee, I barf all the time, I think I'm eating too fast," what I can take from that is, when I move to solids, that I will be extra careful to eat slower and see if that works to help me not throw up. My point is, I can learn from those who do things right, and from those who do things wrong.

What I love about this forum is that people can come on here and vent their frustrations, get help, and people can also come and share about their successes and how proud they are, and people will respond generally positively.

I've been on a lot of forums, and I even moderate one; and this is one of the kindest forums I've ever seen. True, there are some who aren't so nice, but I think that the realistic good advice outweighs the bad. This is quickly becoming my favorite forum of all the ones I frequent.

What would you like to see that would make the forum a better place for you to come to?