I wish I had kept my lapband a secret.....

[Drasan 23]

brbm6 ... I sooo understand! Same thing happened to me and my own mother was one of the culprits!

I told only close family and a couple of friends. I assumed they would all keep it to themselves. BIG, wrong assumption. Some of whom I told, had no problem telling the world. I should have asked them to keep it to themselves rather than assuming that they would, although that may not have even stopped the gossip.

Simple sad fact. If you don't want anybody to know, Don't tell anybody. A secret is no longer a secret once it is shared.

On the other hand, after the initial shock of learning that everybody in my life now knows my business .. I don't really care. Ok, I care sometimes, like when I see people watching what I eat. It makes me want to do things just to shock them. Like fill a plate like a volcano with Desserts. Of course I wouldn't eat it and I've never done it, but I DO have that urge.

[Asherscrashers 43]

I am starting to wish I kept it a secret too everyone treats me differently now and I feel like im being watched by the food police all the time

[sassyfrass 24]

I haven't had the sugery, yet. But if and when I do, I will probably not tell a lot of people. My family will know, because I do fear the possible "mortality" part..and want them to know I love them and they can be praying for me also. And a few friend and a coworker or two. (only because one of them has had it already, a year or two ago. She likes it, but doesn't get fills due to no money to pay her deductible for them, so she has lost 40lbs and kept it off, but pretty much eats whatever she wants and doesn't really try to much to lose more).

I am a bit of a private person, in some areas of my life, too. And this is one that I dont' WANT to be scrutinized for everything they see me eat/not eat. I already have to deal with some of them saying "you are not supposed to be eating that" because they know I have been following Weight Watchers. It's so frustrating! I tell them, I can have anything I want, in moderation. There are no foods off limits. Geez. I can do without that. I am hoping that if I do ever get it, that they will just assume I stuck to Weight Watchers (which I do intend to still do) and got it off with that alone. Nothing will change in that aspect. I will still do that, I will still go to the gym as I do now. They do NOT need to know all my business.

[sassyfrass 24]

On the other hand, after the initial shock of learning that everybody in my life now knows my business .. I don't really care. Ok, I care sometimes, like when I see people watching what I eat. It makes me want to do things just to shock them. Like fill a plate like a volcano with Desserts. Of course I wouldn't eat it and I've never done it, but I DO have that urge.

LOL! DRASAN, this part of your post made me laugh out loud!! Love it!! So true too! Maybe that would break them of 'watching' like a hawk.

[cardmaker 0]

I told my sisters and my support person/friend of my plans. I intentionally did not tell people I used to work with and still kept in contact. My housecleanning gal knew because I rescheduled my cleaning day that week and she volunteered to dog sit while I was in the hospital. Well, a friend from my old workplace found out because her husband, who is my handiman, came to my home (a day earlier than planned) to fix something and asked the housecleaning gal where I was. She told him where I was and what was happening and of course, my office friend found out and blabbed it at the office. I had intentionally not told her because she can't keep a secret. Thank God, my support person called me and clued me in what happened. I immediately emailed my office friend and the one person I knew for sure she had told and said I did not tell anyone at work and perferred no one else knew. But when I meet with the others from work, I can tell most of them know I had surgery from their comments. Funny thing now, my office friend who passed on the information does not have anything to do with me, even after multiple attempts on my part to reconnect. Some friend; we were very close for years! Just when I thought I had all my bases covered, things happen.

[kellyodoran 12]

I didnt tell anyone until 2 weeks before the surgery. i worked at a school and we were going onto Christmas break so I knew i was going to work my butt off so when i got back to work everyone would notice....i did and it was great. then i swiched job to a catering business... I told my boss only because he wanted me to try everything from the kitchen and so then word got out and they watch everything i pull out of my lunh box. I find it keeps me acountable and when I swich out my uniforms every 2 weeks for a smaller size they are right there to ask what size are you now??? I can say I had to have this done due to my BP I was on 5 rx's a day and it was still over the stroke level.....2 weeks after the band I am off everything but a Water pill... I dont care who knows or what they say this was a LIFE saver for me and I would do it again ..... I let them ask me questions till they are blue hoping that maybe I can help someone with the info...I have one supervisor man 26 who is very stupid and cant understand why i would do this to myself (stupid) but I am so happy with me !!!! first time in a LONG time..................<3<3<3

Amy

I am the same exact way I will talk to anyone, and tell any thing they want to know.....It does keep you accountable when everyone knows! Being down 60 pounds, everyone is really noticing and gotta say it feels great.....but they also see me hitting the pavement every day 45-60 minutes a day, and I really think that is the key! No one would say anything to my face, their too scared...and I don't really care what they say behind my back....I mean really don't they have anything better to talk about than me? Poor, poor people! Just kidding, but not really...hahaha

[kellyodoran 12]

I've told everyone. In part because I live in a small town and if they don't know what's gong on they make it up but also because I want people who are overweight to know. I know now that most of the people I thought did it on their own actually did it with surgery. If I had known that I would have done this years ago. I don't give everyone the details of what I eat or how much I've lost, I onlyreallygive details to those who are close to me or I think could benefit.

Hey Sistersue, I am right on your page......I live in a really small town too, and know everyone! I also want overweight people to feel free to ask me anything about it they want too.

[brbm6 6]

My moms excuse is...well, you blog about it so it is out there anyway. GRRRR.....I didn't send my family links for a reason!

[vickyd 24]

I also intended to keep this a very private thing - I only told my DH, my mother, my kids and my MIL (the only reason I told her is that she came to visit us for Thanksgiving while I was on my pre-op diet and I had to say something to explain why I wasn't eating) - I told each of them that I wanted to keep this private and they all promised not to tell anyone. Several months later I found out that two of them had broken their promise - my MIL and my DH.

Obviously, my DH telling people was the worst blow...he didn't understand from the beginning why I wasn't willing to be open about it but I expected him to at least honor my wishes. As it turned out, he let it "slip" to 4 or 5 of his co-workers when they were talking about how good I looked when I attended a company function. Now my MIL is a different story...when I saw her at Easter, she said something about how she couldn't wait for my SIL and my husband's uncle to see me because she had been told them all about my surgery and how well I was doing...when I said something about not wanting people to know she just said "oops, I guess I have a big mouth" and started laughing. I was so furious I just turned around and left the room...and I am still upset about it today. Luckily the people who do know are people that I don't see much at all so it really hasn't been a big issue but it still bothers me.

[okiekatt 40]

That is awsome!! I so agree, so many people used the "weight watchers" line and I kept spending my money thinking if they could do it so could I, just to fail fail and fail again my family and friends really didnt understand ....if they could do it why couldnt I........serously to this day I feel like they where sneaky and lied, I to would have had this done along time ago if I had only known! KUDOS TO YOU SISTERSUE!

[nurse535 30]

This has been an interesting topic. I understand and respect people's decisions to keep it private. For myself, I chose to be open about it. I feel very confident in my decision and the ability to educate others about lap band surgery after all the research I've done, and as a nurse I tend to do a lot of patient education so it's 2nd nature to me. If anyone were to question any food choice I make, I'd be glad to explain to them why I'm choosing to eat what I'm eating. I have no expectations whatsoever that the band is going to magically change my food choices to only healthy options, and I don't WANT to eat only healthy food. I like my treats now and then!

The people in my life who are supportive of me already have continued to be supportive of this particular decision. My co-workers have been supportive as well. I have a feeling there's probably some talk behind my back about it at work, but I suppose that's to be expected. I have one relationship with a close family member that I am concerned about, because she's by nature a very jealous person and struggles with her weight, but she's not overweight enough to qualify for lap band surgery (and isn't even interested in doing so, as far as I know). I'm afraid that things might change between us when I lose a significant amount of weight. Hopefully it won't go like that, but that's the only relationship I have any concern over. Since three out of five of my sisters-in-law have had boob jobs, none of them have any room to talk about elective surgical procedures LOL!

At this point the most important people in my life know, and I will tell the ones that don't already know when the opportunity arises. I have sympathy for those of you who are dealing with problems from people knowing...it's too bad it has to be that way. I hope that over time any negativity you've gotten will go away and be replaced by praise and respect for the changes you've been able to make in your lives.