very disapointed

[firehawk1780 1]

Well I have my surgery date on July 8 I have diabetes, high bp, sleep apnea, and iam only 30, I weigh 315 and am 6'1" iam so sick of living like this I can't wait to start my new life so what iam getting at is my sister is only 20 and is probably 280 to 300 she also is tall. I was talking with her that something needs to change fast or she's heading down my same path. I had her convinced on the lapband and how well it works so she scheduled her endoscopy test , went and did it, had her sleep study last night, and yeah I just found out that she's having second thoughts and she didn't do her sleep study so yeah I'm pretty angry we were supposed to do this together and now she's backing out iam totally still going through mine iam so excited for me but she needs help and I don't know what to do iguess it boils down to her decision any advise

[Jess55 97]

Unfortunately, if she's not ready to make the decision you can't force her. Like 6 years ago I was focused on getting bypass. I chickened out of it and didn't even think about the band. I guess I wasn't ready for a drastic decision. I was ready to lose weight I joined Jenny Craig and lost 70# (in 3 years ). So SHE has to be ready

[brbm6 6]

You are being banded for YOUR health. That is the only thing you need to worry about right now. Focus on yourself. She will probably follow your example when she sees you being successful. I have a family member that was dead against weight loss surgery. Now she has been checking on Lap-Band because she sees how successful I have been.

[Cindy C 150]

Obesity is a disease just like alcoholism or drug abuse. Unfortunately, you can't help someone until they're ready to help themselves. Go have your surgery and work your ass off (pun intended!). When she sees how successful you are she'll probably change her mind. By then, you'll be an old pro and will be able to help her be successful too.

[Phranp 46]

firehawk,

Don't be angry or disappointed ... be an inspiration. You may be the one that helps your sis get passed her fears. As you begin to lose weight your sis will see what is possible with the band. She will see how it changes your life, and how it can change her life as well.

Don't "tell" her, "show" her. Let her see that while lapband is not "magic", it is a useful "tool"(yes I said it, LOL) in the weight loss battle. Show your sis compassion and understanding, let her know that regardless of her decision you are there for her. She is only 20 ... it took you till you were 30 to do this ... she is barely an adult ... imagine what she went through as a teen ... you're a man, you know how teenage boys are, so you know it must not have been easy for her. She needs time -- and her big brother's understanding and guidance. Teach her all you learn about working the "band" and she'll be "on the wagon" (I know, corny LOL) before you know it. When you start working out perhaps you can invite her to join you ... get the ball rolling, you know?

So, don't be angry or disappointed ... be your little sister's hero. You can BOTH do this!

You are already a great brother just because you care enough to be angry. She is lucky to have you. :-)

All the best to you on your journey.

~Fran

[Wheelchair 13]

I totally agree with you being an inspiration and a role model. Actions speak louder than words, you know? Once you slim down to a healthy weight and your comorbidities go away, your sister will be convinced.

I'm also trying to 'talk' my mom into getting the LAGB done. She's 55 years old and has a BMI of a little over 32... but she has rheumatoid arthritis and has extreme knee problems. Good luck to you. If you need a companion to do this with...there are plenty of people on this forum.

[Nechama L 4]

Well I have my surgery date on July 8 I have diabetes, high bp, sleep apnea, and iam only 30, I weigh 315 and am 6'1" iam so sick of living like this I can't wait to start my new life so what iam getting at is my sister is only 20 and is probably 280 to 300 she also is tall. I was talking with her that something needs to change fast or she's heading down my same path. I had her convinced on the lapband and how well it works so she scheduled her endoscopy test , went and did it, had her sleep study last night, and yeah I just found out that she's having second thoughts and she didn't do her sleep study so yeah I'm pretty angry we were supposed to do this together and now she's backing out iam totally still going through mine iam so excited for me but she needs help and I don't know what to do iguess it boils down to her decision any advise

I can definitely relate to your frustration of having siblings who are overweight but have not yet fully come to the realization that we have that this is not going to just go away on its own, through willpower, etc. There is a genetic factor involved and obesity is a disease that does not just go away because you wish it to. My mother is in the hospital as I write this tipping the scales at 600 pounds, and my sisters know this. However, I don't see either of them making drastic changes like you and I have chosen to do. I guess what I am trying to say is that it all boils down to a personal choice. My mother always said she would die when she dies and has no interest in self preservation (hence her size) and I firmly believe that there is nothing that we could do short of sedating her and having the surgery done against her will. The same is true with our respective siblings. Until THEY want to, don't beat yourself up that they aren't. Just push yourself more to show how good you feel and look and how happy you are after the surgery is over. Maybe that will be the inspiration your sister needs to go for it!

[roziecakes 20]

It is true that people will follow by your example. My partner Greg, while not heavy enough to be a bandster, does have about 40-ish pounds to lose; and he has seen me getting healthy and being extremely happy, and I've inspired him to start walking with me in the mornings. He's walked a total of four miles this week! I'm so proud of him!

I agree with what others have said that your sister will probably be inspired by you. Some people have a really hard time with change, and it's true when they say that someone has to really be READY.

It sounds like you're ready! Don't let your sister's hesitation stop you, focus on your health and happiness. You have chosen life and health! Good for you! Good luck with your surgery.

[CheckYes 46]

I think the best thing you can do is show her how lapband can be successful by being successful yourself. Good luck to you! You'll do great!

[BaileyRose 13]

You just aren't ready until you're ready. About a year ago, my very outspoken, Jewish mother-in-law from NYC told me I should get lap band surgery. I was beyond offended because I just knew I could lose it on my own. (uh huh... Like I haven't been trying that my entire life.) anyway, 8 months later, I told my husband I made an appointment with a lap band surgeon. Haha... You just aren't ready until you're ready. Once she sees your success and that you made it through better than okay, I'm sure she'll follow in your footsteps. You're being a great example. Good luck!

[roziecakes 20]

You just aren't ready until you're ready. About a year ago, my very outspoken, Jewish mother-in-law from NYC told me I should get lap band surgery. I was beyond offended because I just knew I could lose it on my own. (uh huh... Like I haven't been trying that my entire life.) anyway, 8 months later, I told my husband I made an appointment with a lap band surgeon. Haha... You just aren't ready until you're ready. Once she sees your success and that you made it through better than okay, I'm sure she'll follow in your footsteps. You're being a great example. Good luck!

This is a good story... this reminds me, when my stepdad told me a couple of years ago that I should get weight loss surgery I was in total denial, and chewed him out, and didn't speak to him for several days. I was so angry, how could he suggest such a horrible thing?

Well, if you've seen my posts, you'll see how happy I am now that I went through with it.

Thanks BaileyRose for posting this... it's so true that we're not ready until we're ready.

[rangerx1 0]

I have to agree that it's a personal decision. I had a friend that bugged me for years. When it was finally right for me to start the process, I didn't even tell her. I knew that with the time to actually get approved, it was my time to think and I didn't want someone pushing me. It had to be my decision. Once I got to the point that I was 100% sure, I told her. She was mad at first, but got over it.