Husband hurt my feelings....

[LargeMediumSmall 3]

Wow, I don't even know how to respond to that. My husband has to much of a sense of self-preservation to ever say anything to me. Even when I was 265 pounds he didn't say a word. I love him for that.

A comment like that has nothing to do with him or even coming up with a proper pay back. What it is is an invitation to really examine your self-esteem, self-worth and the ability to love yourself no matter what size you are as well as give yourself props for how far you've come. Take that comment, ask yourself why it hurt, and look deep within to find proper perspective. You'll find it, it's in there. You may just find that the comment hurt because you weren't quite 100% loving yourself yet. When we know we are fabulous it doesn't matter what other think. I recently blogged for my doctor at www.realresultswls.com on just this issue.

Even though I'm no hardbody I prance around at the pool now knowing how fabulous I am because of where I've been and how far I've come. No one else knows this but I do and it shows. So, sure, people probably look at me and think wow, her thighs giggle or her arms are a little flabby but I don't care because I know how awesome I am.

Read my blog Share Your Fabulousness and you'll see what I mean. It might just help you realize how fabulous you are and any future comments from your hubby or anyone else will just roll right off your awesome self!

P.S. Congrats on the weight loss. You are awesome.

[JakerT5 8]

Did you even ask him what he meant by that , we say words and mean different things , when I read flabby , i was thinking you had extra skin , not being fat , I never saw a fat person and said they look flabby , but when I see people with extra skin I will say flabby , I just reread your post , go ask him WTH he meant by that

[zeniada 9]

Did you even ask him what he meant by that , we say words and mean different things , when I read flabby , i was thinking you had extra skin , not being fat , I never saw a fat person and said they look flabby , but when I see people with extra skin I will say flabby , I just reread your post , go ask him WTH he meant by that

He did ask if I was gaining weight again and said I need to exercise more....

He needs to get off his butt and lose 50lbs I'd like to see him try!!!

[Beachy_Babs 5]

Zen, you tell him girl!! Looks like someone is sleeping on the couch tonight lol !

[zeniada 9]

Zen, you tell him girl!! Looks like someone is sleeping on the couch tonight lol !

Ha ha we have had seperate rooms since he made that comment!!!

[JakerT5 8]

He did ask if I was gaining weight again and said I need to exercise more....

He needs to get off his butt and lose 50lbs I'd like to see him try!!!

Yeah , that was a d**k comment , glad you made him sleep in a different room

[54Shirley 105]

As a matter a fact he is overweight I think he is just jealous.....He has been banned from my room and bed LOL

LOL I was just going to tell you about mine who is JEALOUS ! We went to the Dr. Yesterday, and so far I have lost 60lbs. YES ! He has gained more weight, since we were there 2 weeks ago...... I told him "GO AHEAD,,,, KEEP EATING! YOU WILL END UP BANDED LIKE ME" He knows that it's true, because I am going down, and he is going up.

He's not HAPPY at all... O well,,,

:party:

[bodyfixer 15]

If it is that easy to offend you then there is no help for you

Did you ever stop to think that his comment was not an insult but a (clumsy) caring statement that he is concerned about you going backwards after such a great effort to get where you are now?

Sometimes women astound me with their interpretations of us men's statements and comments

And after he expressed his concern - what did you do? You kicked him out of the bedroom and relegated him to a place of no importance in his own home

Dont expect to get any support from him for a long time girl. You are own your own - like it or lump it.

[oldiebutgoodie2 11]

For those who have followed my posts you will know that I was banded in Aug '10 and have lost 50lbs to date!!!

You would figure that is a wonderful thing, until your husband comments:

"are your gaining weight again? you look flabby"

WTH!!!! what a way to really hurt someones feelings!

I just hate men sometimes

Wow! My EX-husband said stuff like that one too many times. I've been happily divorced now for 27 years! I have had several boyfriends in those 27 years, and am presently with a guy for 5 years now. We live in separate houses, but are together a lot. Super mutual respect. He would NEVER think to say a mean thing like that...just not in his make-up.

I think mean-spiritness doesn't go away by sleeping on the couch.

Good luck, Sweetie. You deserve better. Continued success on your journey.

[spoiltmom 44]

Men do not think before they speak. Sorry hun:(

[LargeMediumSmall 3]

I told my husband last night about my post saying he had to much of a sense of self-preservation to ever say anything about my weight and HE got offended. I was trying to be funny but he let me know what frankly, I already knew and that is that he would never say anything about my weight because he has no right to and he is not a jerk. He's kind and loving and only wants the best for me.

I hope all works out well for you and your husband. I don't think his comment was a deal-breaker but that depends on how many comments came before and after during your marriage.

I wish you all the best. With that said, I think I'm going take a break from LBT for a while.

[Cindy C 150]

If it is that easy to offend you then there is no help for you

Did you ever stop to think that his comment was not an insult but a (clumsy) caring statement that he is concerned about you going backwards after such a great effort to get where you are now?

Sometimes women astound me with their interpretations of us men's statements and comments

And after he expressed his concern - what did you do? You kicked him out of the bedroom and relegated him to a place of no importance in his own home

Dont expect to get any support from him for a long time girl. You are own your own - like it or lump it.

Sometimes the idiotic things men say astounds me!!!!

[oldiebutgoodie2 11]

Sometimes the idiotic things men say astounds me!!!!

It's mental and emotional abuse, and a self-serving power play. Absolutely no love or caring involved.

[54Shirley 105]

Obviously,,,, the wrong head is doing the thinking again......

Sometimes you need to know when your better of, and just shut - up!

I'm sure that's not to hard to do... Or is it?

If it is,,,, then I got news for you too.

You have a problem !

[Acadia 20]

Men often don't know how to word things. He may have simply been saying that you are looking looser (this is a good thing, it means you're losing weight) and oddly, that extra skin can make someone look like they are gaining weight because the skin isn't tight. Working out with weights will help bring your skin in and fill you out with muscle instead of fat.

YOU may want to go apologize to him for jumping to conclusions and tell him that it hurt when he made those comments because YOU interpreted them negatively and didn't take the time to ask him what it is he was seeing that seemed different.

You are too close to how you look to see what others can - he was simply being honest, regardless of how you chose to take it.

Instead of being insulted you could have said, "Really? I'm looking flabby? I hadn't noticed since I look at myself everyday, but that's good! That means I'm losing more weight! You're probably right that it's time for me to step up my workouts to try to pull some of this old skin back in."

Instead, you chose to be insulted and chose to take it out on him. Had you been positive, and if he really meant it as an insult, that would have made him rethink what he said to word it better or to not say it again. Being negative and overreacting in response just makes the situation worse.

No one can make you say or do or feel anything - they can only present you with a stimulus, it's up to you to respond.

The second you go on the defense, you've already lost.