Telling Your Family?

cissy · January 25, 2006

I told select members of my family. I had reactions on all ends of the spectrum.

My mother was worried and pissed that she couldn't take off from work the day of my surgery.

The very first person I told back when I was just thinking about it was my cousin who's like a sister to me. She was there with me for the surgery and has been the most supportive. She has weight issues of her own, and if & when she makes it up in her mind, I will be right there by her side too.

DH was the most unsupportive. He would tell me things like, you shouldn't eat, do what I do and drink energy drinks instead of eating, eat only once a day. He knew that if I didn't eat I would get terrible headaches, and then I found out I was borderline diabetic in 2004, which contributed to the headaches when I let myself get too hungry. I told him he's never had a weight problem so he cannot relate. It wasn't until the Monday before I had the surgery that he lent his support -- AFTER he saw that I was going through with it anyway.

ReneBean · January 25, 2006

Well, I have told my entire family and several friends. I felt that it would ease my Mom's mind. She has always been MO - and she feels this horrid guilt because I am, too. She's a quiet worrier - and a deep guilt kind of person - it is bad for her health to worry about me...

Of course, she is now worried about the surgery and the aftermath - but it's a hopeful kind of worry - that will go away over time.

I am Pro Telling - but after seeing some of the stories here, I think I will only tell those who come asking me what I am doing. I would prefer to wait until after I am all healed up and able to get a fill before folks start watching... But after that, I am telling everyone.

:]

Dancer · January 25, 2006

ReneBean,

is 2/6 your surgery date? my date is 2/9! We are almost surgery buddies! Would love to stay caught up with you as we make our way through the first couple of weeks!

Good luck!

migbt · January 25, 2006

Hi Dancer,,

If everyone had supportive positive family and people in their lives, telling them wouldn't be a question.......

I have no weight problems in my family so my family wouldn't understand. They would just say "why don't you just diet". I love my family and accept them for who they are, but I turn to those in my life today that understand that I am a grown woman making educated decisions.

This is a very personal matter. What works for me won't work for all!

Good luck in February on your new journey!

Donna

4my3girls · January 25, 2006

I dont lie to people either, when asked if im losing weight I just say yes I am, when they ask how, I just say a "change in diet" and more active. I agree its not lying at all, its just no going in to details!! I know you will find it in your heart to do whats right for you.

The only thing that made me want to tell my mother was if something was to happen to me while in surgery, but I just decided I was going to believe everything would be fine, and of coarse I did. I also wanted to tell someone because i was soooo freak'n excited.

Now if I tell my mom, I think she will would feel betrayed that I didn't tell her LOL. So my secret stays in the house, well and that one dance moms house too!!

11/26/2005

201/191/174/140

paula · January 25, 2006

Go with your gut feeling.

Once you tell, then its over. Everyone will know - and you are right, you will get compared and talked about waaaay more then you can imagine.

I told my immediate family, not hubbys. It wasnt until I had lost 60ish pounds before I told the in-laws.

Never regreted it a bit.

I know of another lady that only her husband knew - not even her grown children. And to this day, its still their secret.

:cake:

good luck, and like I said, once you let the cat out of the bag, its OUT!

Dancer · January 25, 2006

Paula,

I have to say, I agree with you. Once it is out, I fear there is no stopping her! She may well tell the world....she did when I had my miscarriage over a year ago...talk about feeling betrayed!

I feel guilty for not telling her, but I think as a grown adult it is best for me and my mental health at this point!

Thanks!

Parvathi · January 25, 2006

I made my Mom go to the Information Evening with me. I knew she had her doubts, as did my husband. She's a nurse and he trusts her decision. So after the information evening and hearing all the stats, she was all for it. Then he was all for it lol.

True, she has told everyone that will listen about the surgery, but only because she's proud of me. Heck, I tell everyone that will listen! lol.

Good luck with your decision :cake:

sarabride2006 · January 25, 2006

I told everyone I work with as well as close family. My coworkers are like family to me so they are very supportive. My family was supportive too, and everyone likes to call me up and ask how things are going etc. Everyone's families and friends are different, so I think it's just a personal judgement call. Lots of luck to you

justamom · January 25, 2006

I too told only my hubby and only on his insistence told my kids. They have been great! I have been banded 10 days now - so lets see if my this becomes common knowledge over time.

I will warn you that for a week after surgery unless you can 'be out of circulation' you will need a explanation to others as to why you are slow (slower than usual) to walk, can't bend over, have trouble sitting down and getting up.

Good Luck with your surgery!