Telling Your Family?

[Dancer 0]

Hi everyone!

Quick question...did you all tell your family before surgery?

I brought it up to my parents once and they flipped. Being a grown and married woman I know that this is my decision. Still I find it hard to tell them about this.

Then, there is the fact that my mother will run her mouth to everyone she knows about this...I know from experience!

Any thoughts and sharing of your own experiences would be greatly appreciated!

Ya'll are the best! Thanks!

[Tricia K. 0]

I told me entire immediate family beforehand. My Mother was initially worried until I provided her with a lot of information. Everyone has been extremely supportive of my decision.

[Beverly 0]

I haven't had my band yet but I told my family and they are very supportive. My mother was also a little afraid until I gave her all the info. Just waiting for Dr. to send insurance letter out. I have gone through all the steps except surgery.:cake:

BMI:

46

Weight: 288

[gadgetlady 4]

I told everyone in the world! LOL! I have very supportive family and friends (plus my dad's a doctor and he researched both the surgeon and the procedure). I don't know what I would do (in terms of telling or not) if I didn't have the support.

[Jachut 487]

My dad was quietly supportive, my mum was very against it at first, just couldnt grasp that I didnt want to go down the diet path again, but she was motivated by concern for my wellbeing.

Now you'd think it was her idea!

[Julie* 0]

I just told my parents last week after considering the surgery and jumping through the hoops since last September.

My father was immediately supportive and my Mom was quite nervous/upset at first until she realized that I had done my homework.

Now she is really excited for me and has even offered to do the 14 day pre-op liquid diet with me for support!

I did stress to them both though that they are not to tell anyone at all. Basically, I told them that it is my life story to tell and not theirs. They got it and I hope your Mom does too.

[Kryssa 1]

Especially if you aren't planning on telling the world. I initially didn't want to tell anyone other than DH. What if this was a failure too? What would everyone say?!

Well...my Mom did run her mouth to all her friends and most of my extended family :cake: . My cousin just had RNY so my Mom and Aunt get together and compare our weight loss :hurt . My Dad knows I did something, but he doesn't want to know or talk about it :phanvan . My sister is extremely supportive :cake: , she lost 50 lbs. 2 years ago (now 125 lb) and she can't stop talking about the difference it made in her life. I may never tell my brother :cake: because he is best friends with my ex-husband who I never ever ever want to find out about the surgery :censored: . My ex thinks surgery is only an option if your life is in danger...and he has lost 100 lbs on Atkins (and kept most of it off) so he would be of the "easy way out" mentality :yell:. Ditto on not telling for my young children because I don't think they should have to keep a secret from their daddy. I was forced to tell my in-laws a month AFTER surgery when I couldn't eat much at my wedding reception (they were confused, I was apalled) :ermm . My two best friends don't really understand. One actually asked me how it was that I could risk death just so I didn't have to be fat :cake: :Cry: . That about covers everyone who knows. The reactions have been so positive and supportive (Extreme Sarcasm!) that I don't plan on telling anyone else. :drama:

I've only lost 7 lbs in 14 weeks, and now I wish I'd never told anyone!

[vinesqueen 2]

DH told his entire family, but they are a medical family. They were mostly supportive, especially since my DH has had such amazing success. I say mostly, because one sister-in-law wasn't so supportive, but that's another story. I told my older sister, and asked her not to tell our mom. She told our mom. To my utter shock and amazement, my mother has been incredibly supportive.

The world must be coming to an end.

[4my3girls 0]

I chose not to tell ANYONE , the only people who know is my husband and kids, my daughters chose to go to the dance studio and tell 1 dance mom, but as far as the family NO WAY. For one my mother would have been worried sick, PLUS if this did not work for me or if something happens, I dont want the told you so's!! Im very happy with my choice, no regrets!!

[giveyouthemoon 4]

I have a very unsupportive family and so they had NO BUSINESS knowing about this. I only told my sister but I'm close to her, she's more like my friend than my sis. And she came down and took care of me out of the hospital. I'm FIRMLY on the no tell side....no one needs to know!! This is your body, this is your deal. You tell who YOU feel good about knowing and who will SUPPORT you and not make this harder on you. Having this surgery is about you!!! So you need to feel loved and supported as you go in.

If it will freak out your folks to know beforehand, but you struggle with them not knowing, maybe you tell them after? It's really between you and your husband and no one else.

To this day, I can count on one hand the people who know about my band (other than doctors). I just recently told the guy I'm dating. It just felt right to let him know and he is cool about it. But other than that....no one at work knows, just my sis, two friends, my cousin (who is a friend) and now my new guy. That's it!!

[Dancer 0]

Thanks everyone and keep em coming!

I got up the nerve to tell my Mom last night and called on my way home from work....no one answered!

Now I am thinking I am not going to tell her. If something did happen to me (God forbid) during surgery it would totally suck for my husband. But, he even agrees that will all the stress she has been putting me under lately :faint: , about other things, that maybe I just shouldn't tell her. Plus, the last time I mentioned it to my Dad, he immediately started talking about just going back on a diet and his response was "just put your mind to it. You just have to make up your mind and you will do it." Ahhhh, yeah right! Been there...done that!:cake:

I am sooo guarded with who I tell. My best friend knows (she is a nurse), my hubby knows and two other people (one is a banded friend). I am comfortable with them knowing but no one else. Most of my other friends that I am close to are very thin people and always have been. I know they wouldn't understand.

Thanks for all the advice. Ya'll really are the best!:clap2:

[Nykee 13]

I would never be able to hide it..

I would be absolutely mortified if anyone found out and caught me acting like I had done it all on my own when I actually had surgery.

What would I do? Lie to everyone who asked me how I lost the weight or noticed and talked to me.. no way.

I mean I may not go arounf telling everyone.. but I wouldnt lie.

[Kryssa 1]

I absolutely do not lie. If asked about weight loss I will reply that I'm eating alot less and exercising alot more. It's the truth and they don't need the details; and I don't need them judging me...

[Dancer 0]

I didn't mean to imply that I would lie to anyone. I would never do that.

I will tell my family, but after the surgery. As for my girlfriends...all they need to know is that I am eating less and exercising...they fact that I will have the help of a band is really none of their business. I hadn't ever planned on telling them anyways!

I don't feel like telling people that I ate several small meals during the day and exercising more is being dishonest.

[LBdancer 0]

Only my DH will know for sure...not even my hairdresser will be told. If asked, like Kristi I'll say I've been eating less and exercising more.

Life in a fishbowl is no fun.

However, it's ultimately your choice so good luck whatever you decide.

:cake: