Discouraged with the band.

[TanksMama 3]

I basically just need to vent. And if anyone has encouraging advice, or is feeling the same way... all inputs are awesome! however, don't get snooty. This is a forum, and I am allowed to say what I want, so please for the sake of just being a decent person, don't put me down.

-With that being said..

I feel like the band is disappointing.

I have been heavy my whole life. I went from the chubby kid, to the overweight teen to the obese adult.

My mother had always been heavy too, so back..many years ago she got her stomach stapled.

She lost 117lbs in six months. She was so young (my age, 21) that she didn't even have any excess skin.

So when I turned 21 I decided I was SICK of being the fat person in the room, so I got a appointment with a weight loss surgeon.

He told me about the lap band. He said it was the best bet at my age, due to the possibility of having children.

So, my surgery date was Jan 7th 2011. I did A LOT of research on the band, and realized that it really wasn't much like my mothers surgery.

I just figured I would get it so tight that it would be like hers, and I would drop the weight off the same way she did.

Yeeeeeah, not so much. I went from 306lbs to 266lbs. I am stuck. I can't seem to loose anymore weight. A couple months ago my band was WAY TOO tight and I got sick, so I got it unfilled...and have been scared to get it filled since then. I am what I think is a good fill, HOWEVER I can still eat a WHOLE double cheeseburger and a medium fry.(Yes, I do go to McDonald's every now and then, because I freakin' love food. Obviously)

So, my doctor tells me last visit (after me not losing anything for three weeks) that I need to start calorie counting......

....seriously?!

Truth is, if I wanted to calorie count I would have NEVER gotten a surgery. If I wanted to calorie count... I would have NEVER gotten fat in the first place.

Will power is something that I obviously don't have.

And the exercise? Again; if I wanted to go to the gym i would have. I would not have spent the money and the recovery time on a surgery.

Everyone says that "The Lap band is a TOOL"... my thought on that?! I did not want a HAMMER to start building a new house... I just wanted to move into a new house!

Nobody wants to go to the gym when they are over weight. I don't know if you've ever drove by a bally's(where there is a HUGE front window and you can see all the people on the machines)...they all look like they could be modeling the equipment.

And I know that you can exercise without a gym. But, I live in a state where it was 107 today, so... unless I want to have a stroke i am not gonna power walk.

I actually feel a lot better now that i have gotten that WEIGHT (LOL) off my shoulders and vented!

Again, i understand that some people may want to respond to this with 'Your STILL going to MCDONALDS, you DON'T exercise, no wonder your still fat!', but if you are going to reply... maybe reply in a nicer way than that?!

I know it's hard to keep your thoughts under control when you hear/read something that just boggles your mind. I am VERY out spoken, so I know how it is. But... I feel like instead of being mean, I could use some encouragement.

[deyvah 0]

I like your post - I'm in the same boat - 'cept I weigh more now than before the surgery. Good friend of mine has gastric done a few months after me, lost a ton of weight, looks fabulous, is more healthy and just had another baby. I was scared of the gastric surgery and now I spend a lot of time wishing I had just gone through with it. Very frustrated here and sad as well.

[HeatherinCA 10]

I feel your pain, I feel like I was poorly informed before I had surgery.. even though I did research.. nothing really properly explains how the band works. All it does is control your hunger, the rest is up to you. Sure if you can eat tiny amounts of food and stay low calorie then don't count calroies, but I know for me, I could easily eat 2,000 calories in a day, with my band. So I have to count them. If I had known that, I'm not sure I would of gotten the surgery. I was under the impression I could eat like 3 bites of food so I'd lose all this weight, false!

There is no way to lose weight that is a miracle! I wish there was. Did your mom eat junk food when she had her stomach stapled? Probably not... You can try using it as a tool? You spent all this money, mind as well see if you can work it out! Check your hunger levels, if you aren't hungry, don't eat, if you can go 4-5 hours with out physically needing to eat, then you don't need a fill. Try to eat less food and see how you feel, make healthier choices...I mean come on you do have to be realistic, even if the band was a miracle worker you STILL couldn't eat McDonalds and not exercise. Skinny people don't do that! That's why they are skinny. I know I know you don't want the mean responses, but you have to be realistic too! What do you want people to say?

[vickyd 24]

First of all, I'm not going to read you the riot act about what you are eating...you know what you are doing wrong. The problem I see is that you have unrealistic expectations of what the band will do for you. That said, the fact is that you have already had surgery so what can you do to put things back in the right place?

1. Stop comparing your weight loss to your mother's. You had different surgeries and trying to compare your weight loss to hers is just going to frustrate you.

2. I realize that you don't want to count calories but, quite frankly, not counting calories isn't working for you the way you would like it to so maybe you need to try it. I use myfitnesspal.com to track mine (they also have an app for IPhone and Blackberry)...it is really not too difficult to use because you just need to type in what you are eating and select the item (I have rarely found any foods that are not already listed) and it is really easy to keep track of.

3. As far as exercise goes, I know what it is like to live in a place where it gets very hot...you need to find something you can do inside at home that is fun. Do you have a Wii or an XBox? I have a lot of fun exercising with both - I bought the Kinect for my son's XBox - because it is more like playing a game than exercising. I know you don't want to do it, but reality is that you will need to do it at some point in order to reach your goal.

4. Recognize that although you haven't lost the amount of weight you would have like to have lost, you have still lost 40 lbs, which averages out to 1.82 lbs per week. That rate of weight loss is right in line with what you should be losing with the band (1-2 lbs per week). You are actually losing faster that many people have lost after surgery so be proud of what you have accomplished!

In the end, the band probably wasn't the best surgery for you because it will never allow you to lose weight without some work on your part so you have two choices...get a revision to the sleeve or bypass or decide that you are willing to put the work into making the most of the band you have.

Good Luck!

edited to add: You don't say how much fill you have in your band, but if you can eat a double cheeseburger and a medium fry then you definately need a fill...

[esch 3]

Why did you get the lapband if you didn't want to do the work? In all seriousness (not even saying it to be rude) but didn't you know that it would take an effort on your part? It's like saying you want to get all A's just for showing up to school...not going to happen right? You have to do the work to earn your grade. Yes, we would all love for the weight to just fall off, but for 9 out of 10 it takes time. My advice is start simple. If you want Mcdonalds, then budget it into your calories for the day. Counting calories isn't very hard, but it will take a little effort on your part. Once you begin to do it, it will become a habit and you'll have things memorized. And as far as working out goes, why not start with walking? Do something that your body can handle and something that you can build upon. You could start off by walking for 15 minutes then just add a minute or a few every week or so.

[stateofzen 46]

I'm so glad that you could vent and that it's making you feel better. I suspect that what I've put below is already "in your radar", but I'm certainly trying to offer support and perhaps a way out of this place of frustration.

It is human nature to want maximum gains for minimum output. I get it. And I know you're not alone because there are lots of people who have said the same words "if I wanted to count calories and exercise, I wouldn't have gotten surgery!" or "If I had any willpower, I wouldn't have gotten surgery!" This is not uncommon and probably has a lot to do with a lack of real education on what it is actually like to be banded. Even when you ask questions and try to educate yourself, if you don't know what questions TO ask, you're probably going to miss out on a lot of important information. I'll bet you can be a real voice of education for pre-op bandsters-- let them know your misconceptions so that they can be better informed.

You're in a position now where what's done is done, and you have three real choices that I can see: you could decide that you're going to revise your expectations of the band and start working with what you've got, even though it means diet and calorie counting; you could decide that you're going to pay to have it revised to something that's more in line with meeting your expectations; or you could do neither and instead stay stuck where you are feeling disappointed and betrayed and frustrated.

You've done really well so far with a 40-lb loss-- that's right on track with where you could expect to be and it's a good sign that you'll continue to lose at the expected rate if you don't give up hope and maybe take a look at doing some of the things you stubbornly don't want to try now (and I know all about stubbornly not wanting to do stuff too-- I pretty regularly refuse to exercise myself). You can do it! You just need to have a little adjustment in your outlook.

But of course, you may decide it's more comfortable to stay where you are right now, and that's an option too. The only options that are NOT available to you are to change the past and never have the surgery, or to wave a magic wand that makes the weight melt away with no effort in 6 months. Believe me, I want that freaking magic wand sister

[Cindy C 150]

If you had truly done A LOT of research on the band as you claim, you wouldn't be writing this right now. All of your excuses aren't going to melt the fat from your body. You don't need encouragement, you need a good swift kick in the ass. You might as well get used to being the fat person in the room because that's what you're going to be unless you decide to put in the necessary effort.

You just had surgery 5 months ago and lost 40 pounds. I'd say you were off to a good start. So you hit a plateau...SO WHAT? We all hit 'em. You just have to stay on the horse and keep riding. Did you think you were going to lose 150 pounds the first week and then maintain it the rest of your life with no effort involved in the process? You need to grow up and be accountable for yourself. Nobody is going to build the house for you.

Sorry if this isn't the response you were hoping for but I too am outspoken and as you said we are allowed to say what we want.

[Jess55 97]

You seem to know what you should be doing, you just aren't doing it. I know McDonalds is a trigger food for me. Omg I love their fries, but I know once I go there I just keep craving it. So I can't eat it. The only time I do is if my friends want it while we're on vacation and even then I really don't like eating it because it makes me want it more. I never thought I would count calories, but I decided to get into the right mindset before surgery and I contunue to do it. I love Caesar salads but I know they aren't good for me but when I get one I budget it into my day. I also get the dressing on the side, cut it inhale, take all the chicken put it on one half, then eat it. I have the other half the next day and cook up more chicken to put on it. As for exercise, you should try it, you may grow to like it. I started exercising at probably 280 lb. Went to the gym for many years. 3 months ago I started kickboxing and I love it now, I go 6 times a week.

Justcontinue to work it

[Beachy_Babs 5]

Hey TanksMama, I'm sorry to hear that you are not liking your band.

Before considering lapband, I had my heart set on gastric bypass. But after attending

a few meetings and learning about both, I knew lapband was a better choice for me.

I think mentally, you're comparing your weightloss to your mom's success.

On average, someone who has had gastric bypass loses a pound a day whereas

someone with the band will average about 1-2.5 lbs a week.

I'll admit, I had my heart set on losing weight rapidly, but that's not the healthy way to do it.

Your mom just got lucky that she didn't have any loose skin because almost everyone who have

had gastric bypass always end up with some sort of loose skin on their body.

You have lost over 40 lbs! You should look at that as a success with the band and not a failure

just because it's not losing weight fast enough to meet your expectations. That's what you need to do...

you need to stop expecting so much out of the band. It WILL work for you if you will work WITH it.

You can't possibly assume that driving through Micky D's will help your chances of weight loss..

I'm not saying that you can NEVER have Mcdonald's again, but it's good to just stay away from temptation.

If you don't like the heat (I HATE THE HEAT), then hit the local gym... or get an xbox KINECT.

I have that at home and bought the DANCE CENTRAL game. It is SO much fun and I put it on WORK OUT mode

and have burned 250 in 30-40 minutes of dancing.

Okay, I'll stop rambling. I know everyone here is trying to help you go down the right path and for you to succeed.

Good luck with everything.

[TanksMama 3]

I seriously cannot thank everyone enough!

I really needed all of the responses. I really liked hearing that I was not the only one going through this. Believe it or not, I seriously think that the one that got me in the right mind set was the one that pissed me off the most. (I'm sure you ALL know which one I am talking about!)

with that being said...one poster said I didn't have to work out outside...and they where right!

I DO have a Wii. And I looked up some of the weight loss games for it, and I am wondering if anybody has any recommendations?!

I read about the Biggest Loser challenge and the reviews are good, anybody have any experience with it?!

thanks again, everyone.

[brenda62 47]

If you had truly done A LOT of research on the band as you claim, you wouldn't be writing this right now. All of your excuses aren't going to melt the fat from your body. You don't need encouragement, you need a good swift kick in the ass. You might as well get used to being the fat person in the room because that's what you're going to be unless you decide to put in the necessary effort.

You just had surgery 5 months ago and lost 40 pounds. I'd say you were off to a good start. So you hit a plateau...SO WHAT? We all hit 'em. You just have to stay on the horse and keep riding. Did you think you were going to lose 150 pounds the first week and then maintain it the rest of your life with no effort involved in the process? You need to grow up and be accountable for yourself. Nobody is going to build the house for you.

Sorry if this isn't the response you were hoping for but I too am outspoken and as you said we are allowed to say what we want.

well said, I couldn't of said it better!!

[Wheelchair 13]

I hope you're feeling better after venting and you're now ready to do some REAL work.

The thing about healthy eating and exercising is... the more you do it, the more you WANT to do it. But unfortunately, the opposite is also true. Perhaps it'll behoove you to take baby steps at a time... walk for 10 minutes on the first day and then increase it in intensity and duration over a long period of time.

It's hot where I am as well.... Atlanta, Georgia is hot...but it's the HUMIDITY that kills us. I sweat just thinking about leaving my air conditioned home .

But it's for the greater good right? Your health and your longevity. If by your user name I can presume you have a child/pet named TANK, you'll have a better relationship with yourself AND with Tank once you start making the healthier choices.

And I don't judge you on the McDonalds. Haha. I was starving the other day and was CRAVING krystal's chili cheese fries. I mean...i haven't had them in YEARS but they were the only things I could think about. Luckily, I took two bites and was sliming instantly... so no more for me. I love how my body punishes my mind for being so stupid.

Don't get discouraged. Just take baby steps. You're in this for the long haul, you know?

[vlp1968 83]

You did get some great responses, glad they helped. I can't say enough about how important excersise is. It has so many benefits, just one being weight loss. I think there is something about it that helps with food choices as well. It's so tough to start, but it will become a matter of routine. It took me 3-4 months to join a gym. I think your wii would be a fantastic start! As well, I don't think you should be ashamed to go into a gym, I see people of all shapes and sizes at my la fitness. You should go in with your head held high and know you are working on your issues. As others have said, 40 pounds is great, you are not a failure by any means.

As far as counting calories, I did it for the first 3-4 months post op. It started to feel too much like a diet and I was into a routine interms of my meals and Snacks. I suggest you try it, at least for a little while. Who knows, it may just make you realize that Mcdonalds is just not work the calories lol.

Wish you the best and keep us posted. You can do it!

[54Shirley 105]

You did a nice job VENTING !

But it's time you get back to working with the Band, and stop feeling SORRY for yourself.

It took time to come on, and it's gonna take time to come off.

So far you have done a nice job with the WL, so don't let yourself get tied up in a PITTY PARTY !

Because I sure ain't coming. You make it sound like a CANCER ! That's not for me, and I don't believe that

you just can't get any where with the Band.... BULL ****! I lost 145Lbs. before with the Band.

Dr. thought he blew the Band, wouldn't see me anymore, then lost my job in Michigan, so there went the Ins....

I'm starting all over again, with a New Surgeon, and it is slowly coming off.

I have 2 artificial Knees, and I walk

every other day. I am trying ! I started getting fat at 6 months, (RETAINING FLUID) I fought to live then, and I am

still trying to do my best.

In the Winter, I will go to a Physical Rehab, and Rent out their Gym For a small Fee.

They are doing this now, I suggest you look around, and get a price, and sign up! The People in there are not

perfect, and they might even be interested as to why your there? They are just folks. But if you don't want a Gym,,

These places offer the same thing, and a lot less $. So Missy crawl yourself out of the Blues Cocoon, and Spread

Those Wings.. You are Lucky enough to be Banded (LOT OF PEOPLE CAN'T). and Do your JOB!

You already know that that Band is to HELP YOU ! You must do the work.

Shirley.

[CheckYes 46]

I love EA active and EA active 2. Jillian from the biggest loser also has an exercise game but I didn't like it much.

I seriously cannot thank everyone enough!

I really needed all of the responses. I really liked hearing that I was not the only one going through this. Believe it or not, I seriously think that the one that got me in the right mind set was the one that pissed me off the most. (I'm sure you ALL know which one I am talking about!)

with that being said...one poster said I didn't have to work out outside...and they where right!

I DO have a Wii. And I looked up some of the weight loss games for it, and I am wondering if anybody has any recommendations?!

I read about the Biggest Loser challenge and the reviews are good, anybody have any experience with it?!

thanks again, everyone.