Why to people get so angry about WLS?

[ShavieLou 0]

I've wondered about this.

Would we tell a diabetic person that they should be ashamed to take insulin if we knew they were one of those that could controll it with the food they eat?

Would we say anything negative to the person who has had heart bypass surgery - because he would never had gotten there if he had watched what he ate, watched his stress level, etc.

People are funny.

Fat people, smokers, and foreigners....the last accepted prejudices.

[ReneBean 3]

I think part of it has to do with being fat is a sin. Glutton is one of the 7 deadly sins. Because we are fat, we are undeserving of pitty, of respect, of any understanding.

....well then.....if I were of an ecclesiastical frame of mind, I would have to consider WLS is in fact, 'repenting of my sins' and 'seeking forgiveness' and 'asking the Great Spirit' into my life to guide me, give me strength and understanding...

I would then be capable to 'go and sin no more'.....I would be more able to understand the Love of that Great Spirit in 'making all things possible' having been 'reborn'....

etc. etc...etc....

Actually, now that I think about it.....

Yes, but I think deep in the psyche of many people, we haven't done the proper penance for our sin if we get WLS. We get the weighloss "without suffering" (and sin requires suffering prior to redemption). We have somehow managed to get off without the required number of Hail Mary's or something.

I think it really has to do with people's mis-perception that WLS is the "magic pill" that everyone has dreamed of, and that once you get it, you get to lose the weight without any effort or pain. That we "get off easy" or something. Little do they know...

And then, there is the jealousy thing... crazy world, ain't it?

Keep on spreading that Good Karma to all - it will come back to you.

:]

[Kelliebelly 13]

I've wondered about this.

Would we tell a diabetic person that they should be ashamed to take insulin if we knew they were one of those that could controll it with the food they eat?

Would we say anything negative to the person who has had heart bypass surgery - because he would never had gotten there if he had watched what he ate, watched his stress level, etc.

People are funny.

So very true....I hadnt thought of it like that.

Thank you :cake:

[DIANA2005 0]

I told my finance about the WLS when I was thinking about it and he got very defensive and ugly about it. He said that I am just wantng the eay way out and all I do is compain and not do anything about it; however, he is not overweight and has great genetics. I am pondering to have the surgery without anyone knowing, even my finance, and just staying near the hospital for a week. Any suggestions how to handle this.

[Kryssa 1]

I told my finance about the WLS when I was thinking about it and he got very defensive and ugly about it. He said that I am just wantng the eay way out and all I do is compain and not do anything about it; however, he is not overweight and has great genetics. I am pondering to have the surgery without anyone knowing, even my finance, and just staying near the hospital for a week. Any suggestions how to handle this.

:rant:That is exactly why I will never tell my ex-husband! As for suggestions...tell him you are taking a vacation? :spy: You have to have gallbladder removed (similar scars...)? But keep in mind: If he is not supportive NOW, while you are dating and he is on his best behavior, how is he going to react once you are married? :yell: He WILL find out eventually... if you can't talk to him about this...I mean, what if he acts like this about other big life decisions like children, jobs, houses, cars, etc. :fear: You deserve support not grief, and IHMO you should tell him so. :devious

[nanahanna 1]

1. Gluttony may be a sin but not all gluttons are fat.

2. Tell the boyfriend not to let the door hit him in the A$$ when he leaves. Heh, heh.

[maudeispam 2]

My MIL is one of those people who think you don't need any form of weightloss surgery. At her highest weight she weighed over 300lbs. She is still considered obese by all technical standards. She lost her weight by dieting and attending TOPS. She has never said anything nice about my surgery and the weight I have managed to loss so far. She thinks it is the easy way out. I hate how she belittles any plus size people and she is plus sized herself. Oh well.:cake:

[DevilMayKare 1]

1. Gluttony may be a sin but not all gluttons are fat.

That is SOOO TRUE! In fact in our culture many of them are actually admired! What is someone like Hugh Heffner if not a glutton for sex? Okay, perhaps the literal term would be sybarite--but sure seems like a gluttonous lifestyle to me.

I am NOT saying it is WRONG. I'm just saying that excess in somethings is often ADMIRED and even envied in our society when it is applied to other areas. Something is wrong with that.

[Molliegirl 0]

Hi All,

I have been lingering around the boards for some time, actually since I started my research on the banding procedure. I was banded 11/22/05 and will have my first fill on Jan 30th. It was through reading all the posts and information I could find on WLS and the band, that made me go ahead and take the necessary steps to change my life.

In response to the attitudes on WLS, I must admit my own hubby thought it was the easy way out...until he noticed that even without my first fill I have lost 17 pounds. He has never had a weight problem, and was always on my back about my weight. Nagged me constantly about it. I was not extremely obese, but I didn't want to continue the route I was on....I knew I had lost control. My highest weight was 215 but I had other problems that were getting worse with each pound I put on.

No one at work knows about my surgery, they think it was for something else. My family knows though, as my niece had gastric bypass last year at the same hospital in Philadelphia. She is looking fantastic. So yes, most will be supportive and to those that are not, who needs negativity??

I thank God for giving the surgeons and doctors the knowledge to be healers and doctors of medicine and now I say to myself "One day at a tme, sweet Jesus".

[sleepyjean 0]

I told my finance about the WLS when I was thinking about it and he got very defensive and ugly about it. He said that I am just wantng the eay way out and all I do is compain and not do anything about it; however, he is not overweight and has great genetics. I am pondering to have the surgery without anyone knowing, even my finance, and just staying near the hospital for a week. Any suggestions how to handle this.

I know I'm being incredibly judgemental about this, but WHY are you with that guy? I'm not saying that he has to believe the surgery is a great thing, but it sounds like he puts you down about your weight and your attempts to do something about it. If he's going to be in your life, you're going to need his support and it doesn't sound like he's giving it.

The fact that you are thinking about doing LB without telling your fiance is a huge red flag. For one thing, he'll find out sooner or later and will his reaction be any better then? And for another, you deserve someone who is going to go to the hospital with you and hold your hand and tell you everything's going to be ok, not someone who is going to be negative and make you feel worse. A lot of people experience depression for a little while after getting banded, the last thing you need is someone close to you making you feel bad. I'm sure you're already hard enough on yourself.

I know I'm making a big leap and you should ignore me if I'm completely off track. Maybe he'll change his mind afterward. Maybe he just jokes around that you complain too much, and he's just teasing. It doesn't seem that way from your message though. I can't help thinking that this is the one person who is supposed to love you best in the whole entire world. You shouldn't have to hide *anything* from him (except for birthday and xmas gifts!). WLS can make a make a good relationship stronger. It can also make a troubled relationship worse. In either case, I hope you have the surgery before you marry that guy. This is a major, life-changing event for you. Best to find out how he's going to handle that before you make a lifelong committment.

Sorry, I didn't mean to lecture. It's just that I've known quite a few people who married the wrong person and paid for it later. (In most cases after they've had kids together.) Could be I'm projecting all that on you.

[gentlespirit 1]

I agree with sleepyjean...this attitude of his should be a huge red flag to you. We all need all the support we can get in this lifechanging decision, and he certainly isn't giving it to you. I'd be really concerned about what this says about your relationship. You deserve someone who will support you in your Quest to become healthier and more comfortable and attractive. Maybe that's his problem...if you lose the weight he'll have more competition??

Having gone through a marriage for 18 years that sounds very similarl to your relationship, I'm just concerned for you...not trying to lecture or be negative.

Emily

[Mariposa Bella 3]

I have come to believe that there are only two reasons why people don't agree with wls, they are either ignorant or are jelouse. I have dealt w/ both all the ignorant comments and even more sadly the jelouse (sp?) aspect of it, especially from my best friend. Her life has been on a downward spiral for awhile now and because she sees how well I'm doing she frowns upon that. She said I was crazy for having my band surgery and she tells people about it, when I have specifically asked her that I wanted to maintain this as private as possible (so that I don't have to deal w/ others opinions on this) she says well they will eventually find out, how if not for her big mouth. If she calls me and I'm out shopping she gets mad, says I shouldn't waste money that way. I'm sorry, but if my husband doesn't mind my shopping addictions, why does she. Besides we work hard to have what we have. She was foolish and decided to end her marriage after having an affair, she had an awesome husband who was a good provider for her and now that she no longer has that she has to work very hard to support herself and her children, but I am not responsible for her bad decisions. It is killing our relationship, if she calls me and I'm at the mall, I have to lie to her and make excuses of where I'm at, its silly, really. She does nothing but complain about her weight and her financial obligations, It is not my fault. Well, I'm getting off track here, but in my opinion that is the two reasons why people disagree w/ wls. If they only knew how difficult it is to be overweight and how difficult it is to finally come to terms and decide to take control of your life, maybe then they would understand. I for one told my family because I knew they would understand, but chose to not tell others and especially my husbands family because they just plain wouldn't understand. Well that's all I have to say.