Needing a support system/mentor!!!

[CarrieRN2006 1]

My story: I am a 26 year old female from Pittsburgh, PA. I am a registered nurse at a local hospital. I am married to my high school sweetheart-married 3 years, together 10.5 years. When I was in high school I went through three deaths of people that meant the world to me: my maternal grandfather (Jan 2000), maternal grandmother (June 2000) and then my father (Nov 2002). I have always been overweight but the stress and depression in my life sent me to not caring about most of anything esp what I ate. Also within the last couple of years I was diagnosed with PCOS and my thyroid is borderline hypoactive (as if my family history and childhood obesity wasnt enough LoL) I consider myself a happy person in most aspects of my life but I am miserable about my weight. I am an emotional person and I find that food is comforting. Throughout my life I have used food for every emotion and so do most of the people around me, which is why this journey is so hard!!! Anytime we celebrate/go out its around food.

After getting married and feeling constricted on my honeymoon due to my weight, I decided that I needed to make a big change. I started looking into weight loss surgery. In Feb 2009 I went to the local seminar to learn about my options. I was scared to death but my husband was really supportive and went with me. I did not tell anyone about going besides him and a close friend from work. We went and I decided on the lap band because in my opinion it was safer, less invasive, and seemed to be a slow progressive change that could be reversed much easier than bypass. My husband and I discussed the options and he was 100% supportive on whatever decision I made. I started doing the preop requirements and finally started telling people a month or so before the surgery. my mom was mad at first. She has been overweight most of her adult life so she understands the struggles but I think at this point it was more of being scared that I was going to have elective surgery and she had heard a lot of horrors stories post op. After I sat down with her and explained my side of the story, she did not agree with my decision but did agree to be supportive. I am also very lucky to have an amazing mother in law that jumped on board the day of my surgery to support me as well.

I was banded October 21, 2009. I lost 20lbs the first two months and I was feeling so good. I almost made it to my 30lb mark and I fell off of the boat. Since then I have been between 20 and 29lbs lost. I just cant seem to make the scale go to the 30lb lost mark! My husband is really supportive but he doesn't understand what I am going through. He is overweight but nothing like I am. We keep making commitments to each other to get on track and lose weight and eat healthier but so far it hasn't lasted long. I know everything that I NEED to do, its getting the motivation to DO it that is the problem. I can make 100000 excuses as to why this isn't working for me but the real answer is that I am just not doing what I need to do. The band is tool but it can not work alone. I am looking for someone, positive, that has been through this similar situation and has found a way to overcome it and be successful. If you are interested please please please let me know!

I know this was like a book but I wanted to put everything on the table before someone took on this situation with me. Thank you for your time :heart:

[thsisme 14]

Carrie, stop beating yourself up and forgive yourself for being human. This process is a life changing event and is not an easy one. As an RN you know that it takes time, and fortitude to change behaviors.

Even though my challenges are slightly different than the ones that you a facing, I too have a supportive hubby. However, I do not diet with him and he eats differently than I do and i do not want him to feel that he has to go out and eat those things that I might want to, but can't or should not. We too do a lot of food events and I am learning to survive better and better with each one that i go to...

I would like to suggest that you start to develop a plan on how to work your changes without your hubby being your diet/ eating buddy. Bring him in with you to be your advocate, but don't count on him to be doing the dieting thing with you...so when he falls down, you don't feel the need to go down the same road.

first I am not sure what you are doing for tracking or if you are exercising, so please do not take this as preaching....I am only suggesting some starting points if you are not doing them now. start a journal for your food and exercise. if you are not doing either, start with the food journal and while you are getting used to that ...think about types of exercise that you can fit into your busy lifestyle...don't count on a buddy system at this point in time.

I hate exercising, but it is necessary for me to do them and do it consistently, my hubby is not an exerciser, so I do this without him, he supports by not being grumbly when the alarm goes off at 0400 5 days / week and knows that I will get my exercise time in on the 6th day so we have to plan that in when deciding what we are doing that day.

I hope this helps and if you need to talk/email, you can certainly get ahold of me through this site. I wish you well...