Help my husband won't get a fill!!!

[DKBB 0]

My husband had his surgery over a year ago, and had lost about 50 pounds. He started out in a size 4X and was down to a lose fitting 3X. He was so happy and excited about his weight loss. But NOW, he has gained back most of the weight he loss, he eats junk food all the time, eats late and goes to sleep, won't exercise, and will not go get a fill. When I ask him about it he says he will go. I was really enjoying my new 50 pounds lighter husband. He had a great attitude, he seemed more happy, I was sooooooo attracted to him, and sorry but our sex life was so good. Does anyone have advice on how I can get my husband motivated again??

[asksdf 5]

Won't happen. You can't really motivate somebody into losing weight. I'm assuming you aren't fat and aren't banded. If that's the case then let me tell you this: As a fat person, there's nothing worse than people harping on you to lose weight. It makes you want to say "forget them, I'm going to eat more."

[Acadia 20]

Sandworms is correct. He has to make the effort. Nothing you say or do will motivate him but everything you say about the old 50 lbs lighter him and his current eating habits will encourage him to rebel. It may seem childish but it's what we all do. Instead of longing for who he was becoming accept what has happened and start to make changes for both of you. Try a new recipe. Grow a small garden to get fresher food. Ask him to go for a walk with you. No agenda, just a walk. Do not talk about his weight gain. He knows he gained weight. He knows he's eating crap food. And he knows it makes him depressed and upset. If it is still bothering you, then you should go see a counselor and learn how to live with this situation. When your husband asks why you're doing it tell him the truth. You want to be supportive but don't know how and the changes he's making affect both of you and you need to learn how to cope. All of which is true. Once he sees you making an effort to better yourself to help the two of you, he will either do the same or your relationship will get worse. Be prepared for the worst. That way you can be pleasantly surprised when things work out.

[Thee-O 15]

I agree with both Sandworms and Acadia. The truth is getting a fill isn't going to help either if the behavior isn't being modified. He can still eat junk (although less of it) but if he isn't motivated to keep pushing himself, the only thing you getting on him about it is isolating him even further. I know you are coming from a place of love and concern and it is hard to see him let go of his progress, but in the end, this is his journey and he needs to be the one to do it for himself.

[DKBB 0]

Thank you all for your response. I am not "fat" as sandworm put it, but I am overweight, and I am currently working to lose about 30 pounds. I have been eating healthier and exercising, and I encourage him to as well. Unfortunately, he won't....I got home from work today and he is laying in the bed eating pizza. He always tells me to help him lose it, and when I suggest exercising or for him to eat healthier, he pretty much ignores me. I did Zumba the other morning and asked him to join me cause it was fun, but he came in jokingly dancing, but then left. I am going to love him no matter what, but he is not at a healthy weight, and we have two toddlers, and his health at this weight scares me! I want to wish you all the best of luck in your weight loss journey!!!

[Elie936 1]

I suggest you find a councellor, they could probably show you ways to deal with all that. I have seen councellors and when my councellor met my parents, it made them understand how to deal with me! They now know what to say, what not to say to me. I really needed them to finally know how to help me, and coming from me didnt have the same impact. I totally understand you, and i did understand why my parents felt so helpless and scared.

Its should be threated as an addiction, same way you deal with an alcoholic i find, anyways for me.

The best of luck, he will reach rock bottom, and hopefully you will know whay to do when he gets motivated again:)