Have you ever regretted telling someone about the band?

[Fat Cat 0]

I'm having my surgery July 8th, and so far I've only told my mom. (I have no significant other.) I'm not really sure how honest to be with others about the surgery, for fear that I may regret telling them in the future. There's a part of me that wants to be totally open about it. Goodness knows it can take a lot of energy to hide something like that. But I'd like to know from those who've BTDT. Did you ever regret telling a particular person? Would you do anything differently if you had to do it again?

[WEESIE 5]

I have told one of my children things in the past that she has "accidentally told". She is a happy, bubbly, talkative person. This thing that she told was because she was proud of me, but it was confidential. So, as a result of that I can't tell her. It's not that she would mean to hurt me, but if I tell her I know I will be sorry. If there comes a time that I don't mind the world knowing I can tell her at that time. This means that I can't tell any of my children because I don't want to ask them to keep secrets from her and put a wedge between us all. And yes, this does take a lot of energy to keep a secret. They know I had laproscopic surgery to repair a hernia. But, I have already called it lap band surgery to repair a hernia. They always correct me like I'm a little dingy. This secret is tough.

[sophinator 2]

I have told close friends and family. I think it is a personal choice. Some people are comfortable sharing with everyone and some are not. You just have to figure out what is right for you. As for regretting telling anyone...I haven't regretted telling anyone I've told but I also haven't regretted not telling anyone else either. I like keeping things to myself so I am good with that Best wishes to you...and whatever decision you make!

[shan-dog 1]

I also told very few my spouse and my mother in law and my children know and thats too much sometimes its not that im not happy and proud of the change i know some people look at it as an easy way out I had surgery mar 18 2011 and iam down 48lb a true success story and i dont need or want anyones negative comments Ive worked my ass off 45 mins a day everyday eating next to nothing and Iam determined to make this band work for me ood luck and remmeber if you tell people you cant take it back ,....

I'm having my surgery July 8th, and so far I've only told my mom. (I have no significant other.) I'm not really sure how honest to be with others about the surgery, for fear that I may regret telling them in the future. There's a part of me that wants to be totally open about it. Goodness knows it can take a lot of energy to hide something like that. But I'd like to know from those who've BTDT. Did you ever regret telling a particular person? Would you do anything differently if you had to do it again?

[NJGirl32 43]

I have told one of my children things in the past that she has "accidentally told". She is a happy, bubbly, talkative person. This thing that she told was because she was proud of me, but it was confidential. So, as a result of that I can't tell her. It's not that she would mean to hurt me, but if I tell her I know I will be sorry. If there comes a time that I don't mind the world knowing I can tell her at that time. This means that I can't tell any of my children because I don't want to ask them to keep secrets from her and put a wedge between us all. And yes, this does take a lot of energy to keep a secret. They know I had laproscopic surgery to repair a hernia. But, I have already called it lap band surgery to repair a hernia. They always correct me like I'm a little dingy. This secret is tough.

Same here-haven't told children...doesn't seem fair to ask them to keep secrets on my behalf. I am sure eventually I will though!

[KrisW 1]

Who have I told?

Hubby, child, Mom, Dad, mom in law, dad in law, brother, sister in law, Manager at work (because I had to give dr note) and best friend.

Who I wish I would have told?

Hubby, child and best friend. They are the only ones who don't constantly ask "so how much have you lost" all the freaking time. AHHHHH I know the others mean well. BUT this is a slow process and it really annoys me.

Now I just tell them "I don't know and I won't know until my next dr appointment"

~Kris

[Fat Cat 0]

Thanks for your feedback, folks. I think I will sit on it for a while. I sure don't like the idea of having a bunch of people constantly assessing my progress!

[anna2259 0]

I agree with Kris. I told several people including a couple of coworkers who have been banded, and now I wish I hadn't told so many people. My reason is that just when I got my band filled to where it was really working, I found out I was pregnant (Feb. 10) and had to have all my Fluid removed about a week later. I lost right at 20 lbs before I found out I was pregnant. I miscarried March 25. I had to start all over with my fills on May 3. I gained 10 lbs while I was pregnant, so I've had lapband 6 months with a total of 10 lbs lost! Argh!!! The other lady I work with had her surgery 9 months ago and has dropped 80 lbs. So I feel like a failure at work around those people that know. So I wish I had only told my family. Good luck!

[vickyd 24]

Just be careful who you tell if you want to keep it a secret with a few exceptions...I had not originally planned to tell my MIL but she planned a trip to visit us over Thanksgiving which was right after I started my liquid diet. Since there was absolutely no way to hide the fact that I wasn't going to be eating while she was here, I ended up telling her about the surgery. She was extremely supportive (and continues to be) but even though I asked her not to tell anyone because I wanted to keep it private, I have since found out that she told her brother and my sister-in-law...and they told people... so now there are quite a few people out there who know about my surgery even though I wanted to keep it private. When I asked her about it she just said, "Oops! I guess I have a big mouth, don't I?" I also had an issue with my husband telling some of his co-workers...he said he was just so proud of how well I was doing that it slipped out. Needless to say, I was furious with both of them for many reasons...the biggest reason being that they didn't respect my wishes not to tell people.

[jenibeni 1]

Besides walking up to complete strangers and talking to them about it, I've told pretty much everyone I know if the topic of how much I was eating or my weight loss came up. I'm not ashamed of my band, and it's actually led the people I know to understand more about it. Pre-banding my friends were worried about the surgery, not whether or not I was going to become skinnier than them. I might just be lucky and have really supportive friends and family Also it should be noted that all of my mother's family (my mother, two aunts, grandpa, and step grandma) and half of my father's family (himself and his sister) have had some sort of weight loss surgery, so it's more accepted in my family than perhaps in others.

[Bodacious Barbie 5]

I regret telling my neighbor, my 18 yr old son, my husband and my mom. But, it really doesn't matter cause I would of had to tell my husband no matter what and my husband's gonna tell anyone who asks him how am I losing so much weight. Even if I tell him not to, he just can't keep his mouth shut about things like that, unless it was him. My mom was okay with the idea for a second til my 18 protested and talked to her. My husband says I can lose it exercising, yet he is 100 lbs overweight. After my mom tells everyone in my family, I'm sure I am really gonna regret telling her. Now she says I should just work out more and change my eating habits too, and not get the surgery. She is my worst critic though, and somehow deep down, I think she doesn't want me to be smaller than her. I've been bigger than her for years, and she rags on me all the time. Calls me big drawers, says my behind is huge, embarrasses me in front of people about my weight and brags about me being to big to fit her clothes. I'm African-American and this type of surgery (any kind of surgery that isn't needed out of emergency for that matter) is not looked upon favorably. I've even had my son, who is mixed say that is surgery white people get. Can you believe it. They see it like its some sort of plastic surgery.

[OnMyWay2Thin 45]

Honestly, it's a hard call. Good question, though, really good... I told my husband, children, and family. All have been great. I also told my secretary and I know that my benefits department at work must know (which is fine, they would never say anything!) I don't tell strangers and I wish I had just told my husband, children (they are 14 and 21), and mom. I think some people perceive it to be a crutch and expect the weight to magically disappear extremely fast. It certainly is fast but it's not overnight and, contrary to popular belief, it does take time. When people ask me how I did it, I say I limit my intake and journal everything I eat - I'm not lying I do that everyday!

All that being said, this is the best thing I ever did for myself. Life has changed in such amazing ways, I'm really a different person - nicer, more understanding, loads of energy, healthy, and I LOVE the compliments and comments I get every day!!!

Good luck as you begin your journey!

[OnMyWay2Thin 45]

Honestly, it's a hard call. Good question, though, really good... I told my husband, children, and family. All have been great. I also told my secretary and I know that my benefits department at work must know (which is fine, they would never say anything!) I don't tell strangers and I wish I had just told my husband, children (they are 14 and 21), and mom. I think some people perceive it to be a crutch and expect the weight to magically disappear extremely fast. It certainly is fast but it's not overnight and, contrary to popular belief, it does take time. When people ask me how I did it, I say I limit my intake and journal everything I eat - I'm not lying I do that everyday!

All that being said, this is the best thing I ever did for myself. Life has changed in such amazing ways, I'm really a different person - nicer, more understanding, loads of energy, healthy, and I LOVE the compliments and comments I get every day!!!

Good luck as you begin your journey!

[bluekerry 3]

My band date is June 9th. I have a blabbermouth husband, so I chose to tell my adult children so there would be no misunderstandings. I didn't plan on telling anyone else but several very close friends inquired about my scheduled surgery. I didn't want to lie so I told them the truth. So far everyone has been supportive as they have watched me struggle on the weight loss roller coaster, up and down. Time will tell if they remain understanding and supportive. Most people confuse the band with radical bariatric surgeries. It often takes a long explanation.

[FadnoMore 4]

I regret telling my neighbor, my 18 yr old son, my husband and my mom. But, it really doesn't matter cause I would of had to tell my husband no matter what and my husband's gonna tell anyone who asks him how am I losing so much weight. Even if I tell him not to, he just can't keep his mouth shut about things like that, unless it was him. My mom was okay with the idea for a second til my 18 protested and talked to her. My husband says I can lose it exercising, yet he is 100 lbs overweight. After my mom tells everyone in my family, I'm sure I am really gonna regret telling her. Now she says I should just work out more and change my eating habits too, and not get the surgery. She is my worst critic though, and somehow deep down, I think she doesn't want me to be smaller than her. I've been bigger than her for years, and she rags on me all the time. Calls me big drawers, says my behind is huge, embarrasses me in front of people about my weight and brags about me being to big to fit her clothes. I'm African-American and this type of surgery (any kind of surgery that isn't needed out of emergency for that matter) is not looked upon favorably. I've even had my son, who is mixed say that is surgery white people get. Can you believe it. They see it like its some sort of plastic surgery.

Some people are gonna ask what does being african-american have to do with wanting to become healthy, well I completly understand I too am african american and was brought to belive that that is something that "caucasian" people do.So that is one reason why I will NEVER tell anyone in my family. I had my surgery on may 12th, 2011 and have not breathed one word to anyone. I mean I am 24 years old still leaving at home, but i was able to create a plan where i got banded and stayed in the hospital without anyone questioning. Obviously my parents are noticing that I have not touched a meal in he house for like over a month and that am now walking religiously, every now and then they are like good you are excersing and with that they feel the need to tell EVERYONE just cause I am walking more, now imagine if they knew I got banded. They would watch my every move.

Getting banded is not a magic bullet it still requires work, it took me 24 years to get like this so it's not going to just vanish overnight and I am not just talking about the weight, I mean attitude,habits, etc so having someone hoovering over me, questioning, will impact me. I know everyone is different but under those condition I will not be successful. I need this to be kept PRIVATE for my own PECE OF MIND!