16years and being banded

[betterdays 0]

Hi People of the world,

I am in Australia and have a 16 year old and I have with alot of talking with doctors, looking at information on others with PCOS, insulin resistance, and other medical conditions she also has, decided to agree that banding is the right thing to do. I spoke to people on another site and I got all the negativity that I needed. The thing is that when I read all the blogs of people that eventually get banded themselve, they say how they wish it was done earlier, why did I wait so long. Why then do people think that I what I have agreed to is wrong. My daughter has health problems, that are not going away, they are steadily getting worse, she knows what she wants to do in her life and is a very mature 16 year old. She has already started her apprenticship to become a chef. This job will require her to be healthy, able to move, stand for long hours, and able to lift heavy things. Knowing all of this and having tried the whole diet thing, and being on more medication than I have been on in my whole life, and unable to exercise much due to back and knee pain (which is made worse when she is working). Also alot of talking and getting my husband to agree as well. We thought to do what is best for her future. Why wait until she is 18, within 1 year her back went from scholiosis, mild pain, to spinal compression, chances of fractures if she falls over. If I wait how much worse will it get? I know I am rambling, what I really am asking is if your parent was willing when you were 16 to agree to this for your benefit, would you have agreed. Do you think it would have benefited you.

I will take the good with the bad, I know not everyone will agree with this, I have spent sleepless nights thinking about it, crying with my daughter over her worry about how things are and will be with or without the surgery, and since the Surgery is not unti 21st July, I know there will be alot more. We are currently watching what we eat (not that the scales show it) getting ready. One day at a time.

Thanks for listening

Worried mum

[collins33 2]

Being a mother and knowing what I've been thru during my childhood days I do agree to what you're doing. Its nothing you're forcing your daughter to do it's something your family agreed on and seem to know what is expected if she have the surgery or if she don't have the surgery. As I could see it it's something she wants and being a mother I know we're willing to do whatever to help ease the pain. Good luck!

Keep in mind people are going to talk but you and your family know what's really going on.

[WEESIE 5]

In reading your post I can see your pain for your daughter. You are seeing her physical as well as emotional pain. I would say that if her doctor believes this is what she needs and that she is ready for it, you need to look at her emotional commitment. Does she understand all the work that goes into it for her after the surgery. I would insist that she read exactly what is involved and her long term commitment. If you can find a few people who are banded to talk to her with the good, bad, and ugly then let her make the decision. If you were talking about something more invasive like gastric bypass I would not have the same opinion. That being said, it is her commitment to this that is important.

If it were me and my parents denied me, I am afraid that as the years went on and I felt worse as I aged I might wonder if they had allowed it that I would be doing better. If you allow it and she doesn't use it, she will be responsible for her own follow through. Because of her age, you will have to make sure she has all the knowledge she needs to make a wise choice and then use the tool. Let us know how she does.

Hi People of the world,

I am in Australia and have a 16 year old and I have with alot of talking with doctors, looking at information on others with PCOS, insulin resistance, and other medical conditions she also has, decided to agree that banding is the right thing to do. I spoke to people on another site and I got all the negativity that I needed. The thing is that when I read all the blogs of people that eventually get banded themselve, they say how they wish it was done earlier, why did I wait so long. Why then do people think that I what I have agreed to is wrong. My daughter has health problems, that are not going away, they are steadily getting worse, she knows what she wants to do in her life and is a very mature 16 year old. She has already started her apprenticship to become a chef. This job will require her to be healthy, able to move, stand for long hours, and able to lift heavy things. Knowing all of this and having tried the whole diet thing, and being on more medication than I have been on in my whole life, and unable to exercise much due to back and knee pain (which is made worse when she is working). Also alot of talking and getting my husband to agree as well. We thought to do what is best for her future. Why wait until she is 18, within 1 year her back went from scholiosis, mild pain, to spinal compression, chances of fractures if she falls over. If I wait how much worse will it get? I know I am rambling, what I really am asking is if your parent was willing when you were 16 to agree to this for your benefit, would you have agreed. Do you think it would have benefited you.

I will take the good with the bad, I know not everyone will agree with this, I have spent sleepless nights thinking about it, crying with my daughter over her worry about how things are and will be with or without the surgery, and since the Surgery is not unti 21st July, I know there will be alot more. We are currently watching what we eat (not that the scales show it) getting ready. One day at a time.

Thanks for listening

Worried mum

[NJGirl32 43]

I guess it would depend on how much overweight she really is and if it's something she really wants. It's a BIG, BIG commitment. I know these years are suppose to be some of the best with dating, and friendships,it's all about being a social butterfly. Sometimes when you are very heavy it can be a painful time too. Make sure this is something SHE wants and not just something you think would be good for her. She will have to "do" the program, not anyone else. I think your doctors would be the best advisors in this case (as long as they are not out to make money). Good luck with whatever you both decide! Stay in touch and keep us updated.

[KrisW 1]

As I read your post I went back and forth in my mind. Would I or wouldn't I let my daughter take this step.

Well, I would. Bottom line is health. Sounds like your daughter has medical issues this procedure would help. My only concern is making sure she is prepared for what she is about to go through.

I personally before my surgery started to go to a local support group and that has really helped me. Nice to be able to talk with people who are going through the same thing.

This site is wonderful to. Have her get on here and read... read... read. So many people have gone through such different things with this procedure it might help her see the good and bad.

The best thing my insurance made me do was see a nutritionist. That would be a good thing for her too if she isn't already doing it.

My husband and daughter (10 years old) have been the best support for me. They have changed their eating habits to make us all healthier. The hubby has lost 20lbs and the child has toned up. We don't let her focus on weight as she is only 10. I just don't want her to end up like me.

Let your daughter know she ca ne-mail me anytime. Just click on my name and there will be a way to do so. You also if there is a question you have I will try to help. Of course this will be all from my experience and everyone is different.

~Kris

[elcee 3,341]

I also think that she needs to go to an actual support group and talk to people before she goes ahead. That was one of the best things that I did. It really helps to be able to talk to others that have a band as they know what it is like to live with on a daily basis.

Your daughter needs to do the research and understand the rules and limitations before she goes ahead.

She needs to understand that the band is a tool not a quick fix. That she will still be the one that has to make the correct food choices, exercise etc.

She needs to understand the limitations about carbonated drinks etc.

She needs to realise that if she is going to be a chef there will be certain foods that she won't just be able to taste to make sure that they are OK as they could cause problems.

If she is mature and does really understand the restrictions and limitations of living with a band then I see no reason why she shouldn't go ahead.Having said that though one of the other WLS may be a better choice. A sleeve for instance might be easier - less upkeep.

When you say Dr's believe this is the way she should go are you talking obesity specialists or just GPs? If it is just the GP then I would get the referral to the specialist and discuss all the options with the obesity specialist - they may feel that a different form of surgery would suit her better.

[betterdays 0]

Thank you all for you support, to answer some of the questions, yes it is what she wants, part of me would love for it not to happen, and it was an obesity specialist who said that it was what needed to be done.

I have gotten her to read what was said, and she has been looking at all of the information, and hopefully will start to ask her own questions.

again thank you all, and we will keep you posted, as I am sure we will have more questions.

[readytolosemomof5 0]

Coming from someone who was (and still is) morbidly obese at that age as well, my opinion is that WLS is a great option for teens that also have medical issues as well. I know it is hard for you as a mom to see your daughter suffer, and it is nice to see a Mom that is open minded about treatment for her. I feel that there actually is no better time, as this is the age in which kids begin forming habits that they will follow the rest of their lives. If she gets used to the dietary habits that the lapband requires now, it will be easier to follow as she gets older, unlike me- I've got to change every bad habit I haved formed over the last 20 yrs since I was 16. She will definately need lots and lots of support, people to talk to, I mean any kid that has health issues need it, and this falls along the same lines.

I know that this will be a hard decision as a mom to make, wondering if it this is the right thing to do, wondering if you should put or allow your daughter to go through surgery, (I am going through all that, and my daughter is just getting a biopsy!) but in the end you two will do what is right for you.

Good Luck, keep us updated.

[TKW 501]

I have been over weight since I was in the 3rd grade. No diet or exercise ever changed that. We ate healthy, but plentyfull and were an active family. I spent a lot of effort over the years on dieting and failed everytime. The band has changed my life, cant imagine the difference it will be in another 100 pounds. It's a life change, that is for sure but with the right attitude going into it, good support and knowledge of how the band works I think your daughter will be very successful. Sometimes I think things about the band are so hard but just the other day I was thinking about my 1 year bandaverary and I thought, O my gosh, i have lost 117 pounds in less than a year and it didn't even seem that hard. I honestly did not imagine I would be at 100 pounds at this point. It is just amazing to me. I mean, it has had it's moments, and it certainly has not all been easy, but it has gone really really well for me. The band curbs my appitite, I make healthy food choices and I exercise regularly. That is the winning combination in my book. One doesn't work without the other.

Your daughter is young, but I understand why you have made this choice. Good luck with everything, I hope your daughter has a beautiful journey, you obviously care greatly about her health and I think you have made an informed and educated decision. Keep us posted!!!