unhappy hubby

[healthierme72 6]

I have been planning to get lapband for almost two years, one year just thinking about and struggling to keep my diabetes in check. I have communicated with my hubby about this and why I want it done. I am tired of taking all my meds and always being at that borderline almost going on insulin. My husband seemed to always be supportive and wants a healthy wife and mother. Well, today, the day before my surgery, he seemed so distance and I felt i wasn't getting the support I needed. Trying to get the kids watched over by friends, planning meals, pickups and even getting all the bills paid, along with getting house and laundry all done. Well, I confronted him and told him I felt some tension and told him what I needed. And he exploded on me! I just can't believe it and now...I just feel this is not what I need right now and I am going to be going through a lot of changes and now he shows me he is not happy about it!

My surgery is set for 9 am. I am still going through with it. And now, feel with no support.

[CheckYes 46]

Maybe he is nervous too? Sometimes we forget that our loved ones might freak out about us having an elective surgery. I mean we were unhealthy before surgery so it feels risky.

Be gentle with yourself and with him. His blowup might really just be because he cares so much and is nervous about the surgery, seeing you in some pain, the future changes...etc.

[amjcal 5]

I am sorry to hear that things are going as planned. I agree with you to go on with surgery! Your hubby may be feeling scared, stressed and maybe even mentally exhausted and worried on what his reponsibilites will be when you return home during your recovery. <en have different way of showing emotions. I know for me in the past have been upset at my husband, when he didn't really know how I felt, and i was being way to sensitive and looking way into the situation more than I needed. You will do great I am very excited for you. Good luck!

I have been planning to get lapband for almost two years, one year just thinking about and struggling to keep my diabetes in check. I have communicated with my hubby about this and why I want it done. I am tired of taking all my meds and always being at that borderline almost going on insulin. My husband seemed to always be supportive and wants a healthy wife and mother. Well, today, the day before my surgery, he seemed so distance and I felt i wasn't getting the support I needed. Trying to get the kids watched over by friends, planning meals, pickups and even getting all the bills paid, along with getting house and laundry all done. Well, I confronted him and told him I felt some tension and told him what I needed. And he exploded on me! I just can't believe it and now...I just feel this is not what I need right now and I am going to be going through a lot of changes and now he shows me he is not happy about it!

My surgery is set for 9 am. I am still going through with it. And now, feel with no support.

[mandy J. 1]

I agree he's probably just nervous about the procedure! I hope he comes around soon!

[Amanda Mae 22]

I think it will all work out ... my husband wasn't happy either - he didn't want me to have surgery because of the inherent risks that come along with it. I had a friend staying at the house to help me the first day to try and minimize the impact it had on my husband. She said the whole night I was in the hospital he was worried and kept saying he didn't know why I had to do something so extreme. Now that's been about 5 weeks, his support is great! He bought me a salad spinner for my birthday to help support my new choices and has been making helping me to make healthier choices - he's even given up is soda at work everyday and replaced it with Sobe Life Water Zero.

Hang in there - your husband is probably just nervous ...

[DRobjohns 3]

I totally agree with everyone else. He's just nervous. My husband was the same way. He went to every pre-op surgeon appt with me, all of the nutrition classes, etc. And since my surgery he's been very supportive. But he was more nervous than I was about the surgery.

Good luck!!

[LadyT150 5]

aww, I am so sorry to hear that, just pray about it YOU KNOW why you are doing this, its not for vanity, its for your own good health so that you can be available for your kids and for him. I know you want support and encouragement.. thats probably one of the reasons you are on this site. However I believe that right now your husband NEED you to assure him that He is the only one for you, and that you will always love and respect Him, you are not changing for the worse but for the better. Tell him the only thing that will be getting dumped is the weight.

I have been planning to get lapband for almost two years, one year just thinking about and struggling to keep my diabetes in check. I have communicated with my hubby about this and why I want it done. I am tired of taking all my meds and always being at that borderline almost going on insulin. My husband seemed to always be supportive and wants a healthy wife and mother. Well, today, the day before my surgery, he seemed so distance and I felt i wasn't getting the support I needed. Trying to get the kids watched over by friends, planning meals, pickups and even getting all the bills paid, along with getting house and laundry all done. Well, I confronted him and told him I felt some tension and told him what I needed. And he exploded on me! I just can't believe it and now...I just feel this is not what I need right now and I am going to be going through a lot of changes and now he shows me he is not happy about it!

My surgery is set for 9 am. I am still going through with it. And now, feel with no support.

[NJGirl32 43]

My Husband was the same way-supportive then as the surgery day neared closer I got the silent treatment-I think it was his nerves and worrying. Men just can't come out and say they are worried-they show it in other ways. But on the day of the surgery he was truly amazing and still is 2 days later. It will all work out!!

[54Shirley 105]

I went through this with my husband. It's nerves,, He's scared you'll Die (YOU WONT) or be different, Cooking will change, and can he deal with this. He will, once he See's your fine, and gets a little use to it.

This is life changing for you ! I don't have to tell you that you already know it. If you want to be healthy, and see your children grow up, not to mention be able to keep up with them or play with them. You need to do whats right for you. If it were him would you sabotage him so he doesn't have it done?

Of course not.

Also mention this to your surgeon, and he will gently set him right.

Go have it done, and start a new life.

Shirley.

[healthierme72 6]

Well, thanks everyone for your support! Turns out you were all right, he was nervous and worried about me, in addition to work obligations. He apologized in the a.m. and said he wants me to have surgery because he wants me to be healthy and grow old together. I went through with the surgery and he stood by myside the entire time, he even stayed overnight with me in the hospital. I am five days out and I am healing day by day. I ended up having a hiatal hernia repair and that hurt a bunch! Today, is my first day feeling I can go without pain meds. I am happy I got it done. Looking forward to sharing my journey with you.

[DRobjohns 3]

That's great news!! Congrats on the surgery and best of luck to you! I also had a hiatal hernia fixed and I think that was what made me as sore as I was since no one else seems to have been sore from just the lap band surgery.

[54Shirley 105]

Now there is a very HAPPY ENDING, to a old story.

WELCOME TO BANDLAND !

[NanaCat 0]

I have been planning to get lapband for almost two years, one year just thinking about and struggling to keep my diabetes in check. I have communicated with my hubby about this and why I want it done. I am tired of taking all my meds and always being at that borderline almost going on insulin. My husband seemed to always be supportive and wants a healthy wife and mother. Well, today, the day before my surgery, he seemed so distance and I felt i wasn't getting the support I needed. Trying to get the kids watched over by friends, planning meals, pickups and even getting all the bills paid, along with getting house and laundry all done. Well, I confronted him and told him I felt some tension and told him what I needed. And he exploded on me! I just can't believe it and now...I just feel this is not what I need right now and I am going to be going through a lot of changes and now he shows me he is not happy about it!

My surgery is set for 9 am. I am still going through with it. And now, feel with no support.

[NanaCat 0]

I'm really sorry you feel unsupported - is it possible he is just scared for you and doesn't know how to express that - i guess by now you have had your surgery - i hope it went well and you are recovering - i also hope that you and your husband have talked it all out and all its good - hang in there

[NJGirl32 43]

Thanks so much for the update!! So glad he was there for you! Wishing you a speedy recovery!!