What to Tell'em

[Uptwist 0]

:Banane09: Hello Fellow Lap-Banders,

When I decided to start this process a year ago, I chose not to tell anyone what was going on execpt my husband. As the date nears, the reality that I may have to tell my parents, brothers and in-laws, I am not sure what to tell them. My 17-month daughter cannot come to the hospitial and I will need help with her for the next month or so because I "cannot" pick her up.

I don't want to be questioned or freak out my family; I am not sure what to tell them....What should I tell them?

As far as the nay sayers (people at work); I am not telling them. Other than the fact that I have complained about the herain surgery....Nothing else should be said.

Can you help me?

Uptwist

[Tlynn1973 0]

That is a tough call and one I struggled with myself. It is apparent that you have done your research and didn't come to this decision lightly. I don't know your family, or how supportive they would be of your lap band journey. I ended up telling my parents and my two sisters. I knew that my sisters would support me, but wasn't so sure about my mom. I thought about lying and saying that I was having gallbladder surgery or something similar. However, I decided that I'd bite the bullet and tell her the truth. I approached my mom with the argument that my decision to do this was well-researched, and that it would improve my health, in the long run. Better health would mean that I would be able to care for my family for years to come. She didn't agree with my decision, but understood why I made the decision. I hope that your family is supportive. I know that it would be hard to have the people closest to you questioning your decision. I wish you all the best as you continue your lap band journey

Tracey

[mandy J. 1]

I didn't tell anyone but my husband and my two children ages 14, and 4. The four year old doesn't really understand, but of course my 14 year old does. They are so happy for me, and very supportive. I chose not to tell anyone else becouse they wouldn't be supportive or helpful if they knew what I was having done. I've told my co-workers, and friends that I had a hernia repair. I have to have help from my co-workers when I return to work (I am a nurse) I won't be able to do any lifting, and can't afford 6 weeks off work. I could be wrong and they may be supportive, but I dout it and don't want to take the chance! My friends and family the same thing. I needed them to help get my kids to school the day of surgery since my huspand was driving me we needed someone to help with them that morning. Again I could be wrong and they may would've supported me, but if they didn't support me and refused to help out what would I have done?!! I wasn't willing to take the chance! I may tell them later after I've lost a lot of weight! Plus my mom several years ago had gastric bypass, and within a couple of years gained most of her wt. back. She refuses to realize that the lapband is different than what she had done. She made several bad choices with foods , and amounts that resulted in stretching her stomach back out. If she would've went with the lapband she could've gotten a fill to get her back on track! Anyways not only did I need support, but also didn't feel like hearing neg. comments, or having to explain my decision to everyone who would've tried to talk me out of it!

[possiblebandster 0]

Hello! Congrats on your decision! I was banded on 12/21/2010. The only person that knows about my surgery is my husband. I am close with my family but everyone is at their ideal weight and no one has struggled like me. They may have been supportive but I know they would say "it's the easy way out" (which this journey has not been easy at all). No one in my family even knows that I had surgery. The only thing I had to worry about was people at work. I told them I needed to have my gall bladder removed. My surgery date worked perfectly because I am a teacher. I missed 2 days of work abs then was able to recover over Christmas vacation.

Since surgery I have lost 47 pounds. It comes off slowly for me and I exercise regularly. Since the weight is coming off slowly (verses gastric bypass) no one has any idea I had weightliss surgery. It's a personal choice but I am a private person and that is the decision I made.

Good luck to you in your journey! It is worth it!

[possiblebandster 0]

Please excuse the spelling errors, I didn't proofread my post....

[WEESIE 5]

I am still questioning my decision, but I decided not to tell family, friends, or my job. I did tell one friend who picked me up at the surgery center and took me home. I told them I was having surgery because of the gastric reflux (which is true) because this surgery often helps with gastric reflux When they found the large hernia in surgery I was able to tell them that as well. I hope the hernia was a large cause of my reflux and it will truly be gone. My surgery was 5/25/2011.

I feared my family would not be supportive and I will tell them after I have lost some weight. I hope they aren't upset that I didn't trust them with it before it was done.

[faroutman 0]

Tell them it is an ulcer.

I am still questioning my decision, but I decided not to tell family, friends, or my job. I did tell one friend who picked me up at the surgery center and took me home. I told them I was having surgery because of the gastric reflux (which is true) because this surgery often helps with gastric reflux When they found the large hernia in surgery I was able to tell them that as well. I hope the hernia was a large cause of my reflux and it will truly be gone. My surgery was 5/25/2011.

I feared my family would not be supportive and I will tell them after I have lost some weight. I hope they aren't upset that I didn't trust them with it before it was done.

[bowlinJJ 0]

I've done research on this subject and discussed it with my best friend over the last year, and then I brought it to the attention of my husband. He is worried about what it will entail. But, he's with me on it. I've told my friends and my family members exactly what I'm planning on doing. If they are on board with what I'm doing, and can support me, Great! If not, it's not their life. I have made this decision to change my life for the better. That's it, no further discussion is really needed. Who cares what everyone else thinks? It's your life, and do with it as you see fit and necessary.

[ButterflyM 2]

Hello all, I too have chosen to only tell a few select people. (Just got my insurance approval Yesterday!! YEAH!!) I just dont want the negativity or for others to interject their personal "dr opinions". Perhaps later I will let them know but for now, i want to focus on myself and not defending my choice to others.

[dawn of dibley 6]

I have only told 2 people, my husband and a close friend. my family doesn't know, my co-workers do not know, nobody knows. i was banded may 4th and i've dropped about 30 pounds and nobody has even seemed to notice to be fair, i have a lot to lose, so it's not really easily noticable, soooo i'll cross that bridge when i get there. for now, i just want to concentrate on me and doing what i'm supposed to be doing and not have everyone around me analyze what i put into my mouth. it's not an easy decision to "go it alone" but it's (at this moment) the right decision for me.

good luck in whatever you decide.

[NJGirl32 43]

Kepp in mind the more people you tell the more it will spread. If you tell 6, expect 18 to know eventually (secrets are hard to keep!). Think about who you will really need to help you with this journey (childcare) maybe invite them over your house and just tell them. Tell them you are not really asking for opinions or advice but rather support with caring for yr. child. I only told my hubby so far. I mentioned it to my BF but I didn't tell her I went into surgery. I just told my boss I needed a few days off for some personal outpatient surgery that I needed. Good luck!!