can you believe she actually said this out loud!!

[jennifer1 180]

Ok i was banded on may 20th and have had the usually problems of gas and port site pain. nothing out of the ordinary. i spoke to a friend of mine whom i think is jealouse cuz she's struggled with her weight as well, although she is much smaller than me. Anyhow we were talking on the phone and she says, "yeah i cant go out to eat with you any more cuz you'll be skinny." WTH! DID SHE REALLY LET THAT COME OUT OF HER MOUTH! I am still in shock. What does my weight have to do with us going out. I immediatly starting thinking that wow as long as i'm the "FAT GIRL" in the group she was totally comfortable, but now i have the potential to be smaller than her she cant handle it! DUDE SERIOUSLY! This is so ridiculous. Hmph! Just wait till this summer hits, it's on and poppin! Ugh! just wanted to vent right quick, thanks guys!

[Sistersue 12]

I know, it's weird but some people are going to feel threatened by our weight loss. I actually feel guilty that I'll be smaller than my sister, how screwed up is that. Sometimes I think that they are afraid we will dump them if they are the big one now. Which isn't always wrong, it's happened to me. The people I really can't stand though are the ones who all of sudden start talking to you when you lose weight, like before I was beneath them.

[Dave_NW 92]

I'm amazed at how some people have priorities that show their ignorance. Yes, you may turn into "the skinny one," but if you have a lot of weight to lose, it'll be a long time before you're THAT skinny, and even then, you'll have the side effects of weight loss to deal with (possible loose skin, and so forth.) It's not like you'll be instantly ready for a beauty contest. And of course, you'll still be the same person you always were, just in a nicer package. Some people!

When I was in the hospital recovering from my surgery, they had an IV in me to make sure I was getting enough fluids. I was laying in my hospital bed like a beached whale, swollen up from the surgery (and two hernia repairs they did), and I could barely move. I was very sore. The IV had some issues, and at midnight they called in a super-experienced nurse to change the IV to my other arm. The nurse was a seriously obese older woman who was very good at her work, but who suffered greatly from lack of tact. She asked me why I was in the hospital, and I told her I'd just had lap band surgery. She made this disgusted face and went off on a tirade about how banding never works, and how I wasted my money, and how I should have had hypnosis, like she did. (Yeah, her fat self was doing GREAT with that hypnosis...) I didn't say anything, and she continued to rant, completely unaware of how her inconsiderate words were being received. I finally told her to please stop talking, because I didn't want to hear it. She actually looked offended that I wasn't interested in hearing her opinion. WTH? I made sure to tell the regular nursing staff about it. I hope they straightened her out. It was amazing that she would be like that.

Maybe your friend was making a lame joke. If she truly is a friend, she'd probably be embarrassed to think she'd said something that would be taken that way. Good luck with your progress!

Dave

[NJGirl32 43]

I can't believe a nurse would evr say that to you!! How unprofessional!!! I am glad you reported her!

As far as your friend goes...well maybe she is thinking that you won't be eating anymore and that's truly what she meant. You'll have to say it to her like this: "That comment you made about not going out to eat with me is really bothering me, what ea=xactly did you mean by it?" and let her explain. I know my husband doesn't eat in front of me-it's weird. I guess he is trying to be considerate but he's allowed to eat in front of me! I guess some people think it's like quitting drinking or smoking and it's not something you do in front of others. Educate her and let her know that you can eat-but in moderation! If she meant that you will now be the skinny one and everyone else will be looking at you-well, what can I say-she's right!! LOL

[disneymom1978 1]

Wow! Some people are messed up! You will definitely find out who your true friends are throughout this experience! I have one friend who just stopped speaking to me. I heard from a friend that we have in common that it's bc I weigh less than she does. I tried to call her so we can talk about this, but she declines my calls and doesn't return her messages!

I have another friend who apologizes everytime she eats in front of me! Lol! It really doesn't bother me if other people eat! I did this for me, not to change the eating habits of my friends!

[Mike4140 1]

Hey Jennifer~

Aw cut her some slack.....many of our friends don't know how to handle this change in us so I give them the benefit of the doubt and keep trying to understand how they saw me ans what that all meant to them...you are finding out...man are you finding out!! I you can give that big smile of yours and remind her you can go out and you are always gonna be hot! I am realizing I spent so much time thinking about the effect of my weight on myself never even giving one thought to my weight in the minds of others. Keep in mind she was honest to you cause she must trust you so keep that trust in mind and always feel free tovent in here ...it is a safe place to do that...my turn is comin!

All my best

Mike

Ok i was banded on may 20th and have had the usually problems of gas and port site pain. nothing out of the ordinary. i spoke to a friend of mine whom i think is jealouse cuz she's struggled with her weight as well, although she is much smaller than me. Anyhow we were talking on the phone and she says, "yeah i cant go out to eat with you any more cuz you'll be skinny." WTH! DID SHE REALLY LET THAT COME OUT OF HER MOUTH! I am still in shock. What does my weight have to do with us going out. I immediatly starting thinking that wow as long as i'm the "FAT GIRL" in the group she was totally comfortable, but now i have the potential to be smaller than her she cant handle it! DUDE SERIOUSLY! This is so ridiculous. Hmph! Just wait till this summer hits, it's on and poppin! Ugh! just wanted to vent right quick, thanks guys!

[rowekins 1]

I've heard similar things, though not that harsh. I also hear from a lot of "normal" sized people that they should get banded to lose 20 or so pounds. I've found that not everyone is happy with my impending success:( Don't worry about what your friend says. It's all about you! Good luck!

[Karon 1]

Yes people can be very insensitive, competitive, jealous and the list goes on and on. It's hard not getting discouraged at times. But as the poster above me states "WE CAN DO IT". Go for it, don't let anyone's stupid comments interfere with your goals and desires.

[jennifer1 180]

Thanks guys. i figured out today through other comments today that she has issues. I'm not going to let her negativity effect me and my journey. I have you guys and plenty of others that support me. I just never thought my weight loss would effect my friendships! or family for that matter!

[collins33 2]

Sorry to hear that your friend would do that but that just shows that she/he wasn't really a friend. This is the one of the reasons why I haven't told many people about my journey. My boyfriend and 2 friends know but they are very supportive. I rather keep it to myself so I don't have to deal with the negative responses I feel like I have other important issues to deal with like trying to better myself. Hope things get better for you!