How do you handle the naysayers?

[lmwalt2413 0]

I have had a lot of comments lately about LB. Most people say that it is the easy way out, you will gain all the weight back, it doesn't deal with emotional eating issues, etc.....

So, how do we get those negative things people say out of our minds?

Friends will say: I could never give up food, or bread, or fried foods, etc...

Question? What about beer? Can we still drink a beer?

[Rachel412 116]

That's a part of the reason that I've only told a few people. I don't need anyone lecturing me when they have no idea what the band really does for you! I try to look at how well I'm doing, the changes I've made, and then I go read the blogs of people who are successful bandsters and now try to help others. And I post here a lot

Being banded doesn't mean you can never have xyz food again. It means you'll need to make a conscious choice to eat that item, and it'll probably be a bite or two or a rare treat rather than a daily occurrence. It's different for everyone really. Some people still eat "junk" food and are able to burn it off, some people can't even walk past a french fry without hitting a stall

Same with beer... some people can't handle the carbonation, some people are just fine with it, some people choose to only have a few sips.

[amjcal 5]

That's a part of the reason that I've only told a few people. I don't need anyone lecturing me when they have no idea what the band really does for you! I try to look at how well I'm doing, the changes I've made, and then I go read the blogs of people who are successful bandsters and now try to help others. And I post here a lot

Being banded doesn't mean you can never have xyz food again. It means you'll need to make a conscious choice to eat that item, and it'll probably be a bite or two or a rare treat rather than a daily occurrence. It's different for everyone really. Some people still eat "junk" food and are able to burn it off, some people can't even walk past a french fry without hitting a stall

Same with beer... some people can't handle the carbonation, some people are just fine with it, some people choose to only have a few sips.

[amjcal 5]

I have on told close friends and family. People don't understand unless they are in your shoes. i have had people tell "you don't need the surgery, you are not that over weight" I reply " Thanks for your compliment but I am 100lbs over weight" they reply " well you don't look at it" and then I change the subject. To me it is important that the people i am around everyday are supportive, not anybody else. So I live with my mother in law because my husband is in the Army, so what I am doing until I get my approval and actually have the surgery, I am educating them on what it will be like after I have the surgery, because I feel the more they know about it the more supportive they will be.

I asked my surgeon about drinking, because I like to have a margarita at dinner or a beer when we have a BBQ whatever the case may be. The surgeon told me " you have to live a little" so he said occasionally it is okay as long as you wait the time period before and after you eat" also he stressed the importance of drinking empty calorie drinks.

Good Luck we will do great!

[Jess55 97]

That is why only my immediate family and a couple friends and my supervisor knows. I don't need to hear things from people or have people watching what I eat.

Though the other day I wanted to strangle my mother for the comment my dad said she made. My dad was in my area so he took me out to dinner and my dad said my mom said the he shouldn't be taking me out to dinner because I'm supposed to be watching myself and when I went to dinner with her last time I had a treat of chicken fingers, which I haven't had in forever and I was craving them. Really?!!? I can eat what I want, and it was just a treat and she saw I didn't even finish them. So yeah, maybe later, but for now it is my thing.

[ReJoyce 1]

That was the first thing my husband asked me, was who will I tell. I told him for now, him and our teenagers. He knows I have some very judgemental family and I don't want to hear it. I am an adult and doing all this research.

[Phranp 46]

I have had a lot of comments lately about LB. Most people say that it is the easy way out, you will gain all the weight back, it doesn't deal with emotional eating issues, etc.....

So, how do we get those negative things people say out of our minds?

Friends will say: I could never give up food, or bread, or fried foods, etc...

Question? What about beer? Can we still drink a beer?

First things first:

"Most people say that it is the easy way out" False ... you'll see

"you will gain all the weight back" It can happen, but it would be your choice

"it doesn't deal with emotional eating issues" TRUE ... but it gives you a chance to lose and keep the weight off while you are dealing with the emotional eating issue

"So, how do we get those negative things people say out of our minds?" <STRONG>Educate yourself about the lapband ... the better you understand how it works the less you will hear their ignorant (because of their lack of knowledge) comments in your mind

[ReJoyce 1]

First things first:

"Most people say that it is the easy way out" False ... you'll see

"you will gain all the weight back" It can happen, but it would be your choice

"it doesn't deal with emotional eating issues" TRUE ... but it gives you a chance to lose and keep the weight off while you are dealing with the emotional eating issue

"So, how do we get those negative things people say out of our minds?" <STRONG>Educate yourself about the lapband ... the better you understand how it works the less you will hear their ignorant (because of their lack of knowledge) comments in your mind

Awesome advice! Thank you. That is the whole reason I am here, to learn from everyone.

[NewStart95987 35]

I have been so open with my soon to be LB! Only a few people have said "Well, why not just keep dieting if you have lost 20 lbs on your own"? These are people who obviously do not have a weight problem.

I explain that LB is not a solve all and will not "do" the work for me. It's a tool. It's a tool to help me eat better foods, not over eat and a tool to help me live longer. I then ask them something along the lines of "When was the last time you drank a soda, over ate, had chips, etc"? The band won't stop me from doing those things and eating those horrible things BUT it'll make my life a little more difficult and remind me of why I don't need that stuff!

My mother even asked "Why spend $3000 on that and not do Jenny Craig or something"? I sat her down, showed her my research, answered her questions and explained that this is a lifetime tool for me. Not something that'll help for 6 months and I'll be done and gain the weight back. By the time I was finished talking to her, she wanted to get a band, lol! Though I am VERY lucky and have a wonderful support system, I have come into contact with the naysayers. You should NEVER be ashamed to better yourself, be it WLS, rehab, counseling or whatever you feel you need. Everyone has their problems. People don't need to judge you or agree with your decision. Your a strong enough person to get help when you believe you need it, other people are not strong or are to afraid of what other might think. That's the difference between those who understand WLS and those who are a "Naysayer"!

[AlienBandit 10]

I am so glad I didnt tell people I was getting banded because I hate hearing so many negative things. How would you know whether I was "that big" or not when you are not in my body? How do you know it is the "easy way out" if you have never been overweight/ or had to have surgery etc

Now that I am almost at goal and my friends have seen me struggle with losing my weight ( I do talk a little about wanting to work out more/lose more etc) if I do ever tell them, I dont think they can say anything bad just because I am almost finished my journey.

The band could make losing weight harder if I really wanted to f- things up. I could live off ice cream, soda, and junk food no problem and gain weight and not get fills.

However I needed something to help me lose weight and the band was perfect. It helps remind me not to eat too much, not to eat certain things etc but it is not the easy way out. I have been banded, unbanded, ballooned, unballooned, and banded again. If ANYONE wants to tell me that, that was the EASY way out, I will KNOCK them OUT!

[cwm812 11]

I told very few people about my research into the lap-band prior to the surgery. And even then, I waited until I was sure this was what I needed. The world is full of opinionated people who don't have any knowledge to support their opinion.

After I started losing weight and people asked me how I was doing it, I told them. I'm a lousy liar and I wanted people to know that there was something that did actually work for long term weight loss. Once you are doing well, people tend to become very interested in your band and suddenly they don't feel the need to tell you about the rumor they heard. Once you are banded, the naysayers get quiet. It's hard to argue with you about the problems with the lap-band while they're watching you drop a size every month or two.

The band process isn't quick or easy, but it does work. That's all those judgmental people really need to know.

Cindy

[NewStart95987 35]

Once you are banded, the naysayers get quiet. It's hard to argue with you about the problems with the lap-band while they're watching you drop a size every month or two.

Hahahaha! I love this, so very true. I actually didn't tell ANYONE, including my Mom (who I am very close to) or my husband. I actually was so busy running around one day I left some information out of the table. My husband came home and asked "Are you looking into that", I was so scared and told him I was. He said "Whatever you do or don't want to have done, is just fine with me."

I was so happy to hear this and gushed out all of my research and really surprised him. I had been doing research for almost a year and didn't want to tell anyone about it. I wanted to make my own, informed decision before getting anyone elses input. I'm so glad I did so and have been fortunate with lots of support. Very few people have said anything negative and again, I think if you are a strong enough person to get help with WHATEVER it is you think you need help with, you should never be ashamed and no one has the right to judge you. I can't wait to put everyone's doubts to rest once I am banded :-)

I figure if I can help share my experience and help just one person make a yes or no choice to see if maybe this is an option for them, I feel I have done my job.

I think of my grandmother who I am a total clone of. If she had information on WLS, would it have saved her life? Would she of not had that heart attack we think she had? Would she have been at my wedding if she had Lap-Band or gastric? Would she have been able to see my brother graduate high school in three years? I can't help but think these things and think maybe I could help someone prolong their life with the power of knowledge. Don't get me wrong, I don't walk around with a sign that says "Ask me about my LapBand" but am more than willing to share what I know and to show them the steps to get started to get their own information.

[honk 780]

My doctor wants me at a restriction level where I CAN eat any food. Some people keep their bands too tight. It's true the band will not fix emotional eating. My doctor required attending group therapy where we discussed what triggers you to over eat. Those sessions really did help me. I learned what food triggers me to over eat. I CHOOSE what foods I'm not eating on a daily or weekly basis. If I'm at a party I can have a couple crackers or a piece of nice bread; but I don't keep them in my house.

[Cocoabean 430]

WLS, any procedure, is a WAY OUT, not an EASY way out. Why should I have to keep trying and trying over and over expecting a different result? Trying a new diet every other year for the past twenty years doesn't earn me the right to WLS? Please. It's amazing how some people think we just woke up one day and said, "oh, I am obese, I think I'll have surgery to magically lose weight!"

I am very open about having had surgery. I educate people about it if they are interested. If they are way against it, I just say I made the best decision for me. It might not have been for them, but I am much healthier now than before. I don't go around advertising that I have a band, but people are going to ask what you are doing to lose the weight. I am just not one to say oh, diet and exercise. The person whom I asked how she was losing that told me she had gastric bypass that got me thinking about WLS was honest with me. (Wow, what a run-on sentence!) I didn't think she was heavy enough for WLS. Had she left off the surgery part, I may or may not have arrived at this part of my life journey, but I am thankful she told me.

[wannawearabikini 9]

I have only told my husband and a cousin I am very close to. My cousin is also overweight and she doesn't seem to be very happy for me. She NEVER brings it up or asks me any questions. When I would bring it up, she would change the subject. I've stopped talking to her about it.

Also, I have an issue with people saying "you're taking the EASY way out." Not that it is easy, but even if it were easy, what they are really saying is "I think your weight loss should be hard and miserable and you should struggle you're entire life!"...That's really jacked up!!! We all take the "easy" way in life all the time!!! We have dishwashers, microwaves, cars...you name it!!! All to make life easier!!! There's no shame in that!!! I hope it will be easy!!! That would be a dream come true!