Newbee and Emotional....Normal?

[migbt 0]

Hi all...

Got banded January 12. Everything is ok, but I seem to be on uneasy ground. Last night I went to first support meeting at the local hospital. They were all bypass people, most in 2nd year. I decided to stay thinking that I would hear some good things if I listened.

I told the group I was dealing with head hunger. The group shared some good things and I was glad I went. I shared with my DH on the way home that I was REALLY head hungry and was not in a good place. One of my biggest problems is night eating. When we got home my DH broke out the cashews while we were watching TV. I thought I would jump across the room and rip his face off. I started :think crying.... and crying.... he is usually kind and wonderfully supportive and I know this is a big change for him as much as me, but he proceeded to say "I thought we discussed this and we weren't going to do this!". Meaning he would be supportive, but he had to live to. He is not a food addict and don't expect him to live my life.

We ended up talking it out, but today I have an emotional hangover....I feel alone:cry

Move a muscle and change a thought. I am going for my walk.

[Cheri 0]

Girl, send him and his nuts to the garage!!!

Support means not doing things that hurt you (whether emotionally or physically) as well as doing things that will help you! You are like a baby bandster right now, my goodness it's barely been a week! You can't eat the cashews even if you wanted to, but he really needs to keep his snacking away from you, especially right now! If you were smokers and he decided to quit, would you continue to smoke in his presence?? It's essentially the same thing!

I realize that you are probably cooking meals even though you are on liquids (we gotta do what we gotta do), but the snacking thing in the evening is too much - no one should be eating junk that late! (I say this as I remember last night's munch fest on cottage cheese and soy chips, and the night before with fully-loaded ice cream and chocolate chips!!)

It sounds like you have a good relationship, but you need to kick him out of your sight whenever he pulls his nuts out!!! (Oh, you naughty girl - not those nuts!!! hehe)

Good Luck!

~cheri

[CCBSTX 0]

Oh, Doc! I understand what you are going through. I was emotional when I was first banded. Even now, I sometimes get frustrated. Tell your hubby that it's true that eventually things will get back to normal. However, at this time you need (fill in the blank here)....This will be a big support early on. My husband felt he had to sneak food items. Of course, I could sniff him out like a dog!!!! I eventually told him (about 4 weeks post-banding) that it's ok if he ate Snacks, etc. around me. Just don't rub it in and offer me any!! The first 6 weeks is a time for healing and transition. I do try to keep any "trigger" foods out of the house (to this day)...

[Anwyn 0]

Oh, it's sooooooo normal to be feeling down right now! You're still feeling tired from the surgery and you're stuck on those stupid liquids and mushies. I'm sorry you're feeling down. It will get better every day, and before you know it you'll be back to feeling human again. Walking is a great idea - keep it up! (((HUGS)))

[sarabride2006 0]

I was banded on 12/28 and on day three my fiance (who is recovering from ACL replacement) asked me to make him a sandwhich. I CAME UNGLUED. How dare he ask me to do that? Then I realized how dare I act so immature over something to eat. It caused a huge fight, me saying he was an insensitive SOB and he saying I was a baby. I let him win that one. 1) because it is not his fault I weighed over 300 lbs. 2) Up until that moment he had been following the diet with me, and needed the substance to take a pain pill for his knee. At that point I realized how much food ruled my life. He went to his parent's house and I cried and cried. The next day I realized how much of a baby I had been. Moral of the story for me is nobody made me this way. Nobody forced me to have this surgery and nobody kept me from eating healthy and working out. I can't expect other people in my life to adhere to my new eating plan because I miss food. Other's may disagree, but you can't expect others to change their eating because of choices you made. I had to come to terms with that. Everyday my coworkers eat fast food, drink cokes etc. I eat my cottage cheese and chicken and relish in the fact that one day I will be at my goal...I prayed and prayed for strength and have found it. I learned the difference between head hunger and body hunger. I started working out and enjoying my new life.

Good luck my dear and I promise it DOES get easier. I'm almost on week 4 and I feel like a million bucks

[one too many 1]

This time in your life is some what like the death of your closest friend...you are likely to be emotionally unstable...for some of us we have always been like that and hence weight issues.However every day you will feel better.He is a man and Iam sure a good one at that,although I do think they think differently to women.Not wrong just differently.Forgive him move on and bust his balls big time if he does it again as he now knows better.Be kind to yourself and him as in a couple of weeks you will be feeling loads better.

[NJChick 3]

Girl, send him and his nuts to the garage!!!

~cheri

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!! HEEE HHHHEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAA !!!!! Cheri made a funny ROFLMFAO !!!

Sorry Doc, that just struck me funny.

Now seriously, I cried too when I was on liquids, I thought I was gonna go bonkers watching my family eat when all I could have was stinkin broth. But realize this.... you can have the foods you like, and the beauty of the band is you'll be eating alot less. Hang in there, I know emotional eating and head hunger can really beat you up.

If I were you, I'd tell DH that just for a while, not to eat infront of you b/c your going thru some really emotional times right now and its not fair to you. I warned my DH time after time that I was gonna be wacko with emotions for a while and just to ignore them the best he could b/c it really wasn't me talking.

Hang in there sweet lady

[Kim_8 2]

Ah Doc - I just saw this! Sorry - I would have chimed in sooner! How are you doing today - any better???? You know I have two teenagers who snack all the time - I find it hard as well. I got some pudding cups (sugar free, fat free - on my "approved list") and I just take one of those out when I can't stand it anymore - it takes care of the "head hunger" for me and makes me feel like I'm not as deprived. This has been quite an emotional deal though. I found myself almost in tears driving home from work the other day and didn't know quite why. This is a huge adjustment and it's gonna take some time to get used to. You're doing great though - look at all that weight lost! Hang in there kiddo and if you need anything, let me know! Take Care....

Kim

[Kryssa 1]

I'd been off anti-depressants for 3 years when I was banded. 2 months later, I was back on them. I was mourning food, it was like my best friend had died. My PCP said I'd been self-medicating with food, and since I couldn't do that anymore...anyway, I woke up this morning with this big smile on my face. The hormonal/serotonin swings have ended and even if I am working 65 hours a week right now, I'm OK. Unfortunately, spouses sometimes have this problem with realizing the emotional swings won't last forever. You just had surgery and You are delicate right now, you need support right now, and you will be better later. Six months from now, those nuts will probably not bother you in the least. I thought I'd grown resigned to DH's late night PBJ thing, but for the first 2 months, I cried everytime he made one. Now, I don't care and have even been known to make them for him.

Jeez, I ramble alot, don't I? Anyway, hope it helps.